Don't get any ideas. Hello and welcome to our week. There yet in exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.

I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.

And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime smut peddler. I got what the depraved craved.

You got what I need.

What do you want?

What do you want? tig. Old biddies got them. Secretary fetish? Got it. foda. Got it. tentacles. Got it. slime. Got it. Hold on.

Slow down.

Too much.

Right after you just stop at Secretary fetish. Because that's not something I've ever, like, heard before. No, I mean, like, I guess it's a thing, but you mean like a boss and a secretary?

Yeah, it's like the power dynamic. It's like the teacher and the student.

But why did you go with the secretary before you went with a student?

Because he's got all the rare stuff, all the fun stuff. He's got to point out the things that aren't moving.

I got food. I got tentacles. I got slime. I don't have sagittory rape. I have standards.

Do you have clowns?

No. Fresh out of clowns. We have them. They're just sold out right now. Something happened. They're real popular right now. I can't keep them on the shelves.

That makes sense.

We got a new shipment coming down from Maine soon.

I love these jokes.

Finally, good jokes on this podcast.

Finally jokes that I those are things.

That I actually like.

Brendan, I hear you're releasing sins on us today. What's going on?

I'm releasing my Good Good book of horrible, horrible montrosities. It is monster, massume. This is one I've had in the chamber for quite some while, and I wanted a good time to unload it. And you know what? There's no good time for this. It's just happening.

On the Internet, where in the spooky season it is mid September after all. So we got to get into the monster stuff.

Yes. That's why I did that.

It's a whole theme, right? Yeah, totally.

Not because we haven't seen some big, floppy anime titties in a while.

Yeah.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This show isn't about watching all of the good anime. This is about the full anime experience, and we need smart.

Your favorite thing to bring to anime show? Intel.

It's the reason I'm not allowed at that school anymore. It's also because I'm 28.

Valid.

Also, what?

What is your experience with this show? Brendan, I'm afraid to ask, but where did you go?

I've watched it. I've watched it. It got, like it got real popular on the Internet because it's sexual and depraved. So it got passed around real quick when it came out, and I was just like, this seems like a fun romp. And I just got a lot of free time in college, and I watched it.

Yeah. And this came out 2016, I believe.

No, I wasn't in college.

Really?

What was my excuse?

I'm just a pervert. That's why I watched it.

I don't know why I thought this was older. I thought it had been around.

Let me double check the Internet. Oh, sorry. manga came out 2012. Anime series 2015, I believe. Dub 2016. The dvd was released 2016, but it was available earlier.

Okay.

But yeah, can't believe it.

Oh, yeah. And it's one of those things where it's like, it shouldn't be getting as much attention as it is. More people don't need to see this, but you got jackasses like me sprouting it around.

You're making us watch it.

Yeah. It's like an anime chain letter.

Dana, do you know anything about this show? Please tell me. No.

I know no, I know things about it, but I haven't watched it. But I'm very excited to watch it because I love monster girls and I love Smut.

Yeah.

Me, your puritan baby will have fun watching this.

Tighten that buckle on your back experience. It's going to be a wild ride.

Well, we're going to watch episodes one, two, and eight.

Yeah.

Well, when we get to it, we'll ask why specifically you chose that. I assume some deviousness that you enjoy. There's a reason, for sure, but yeah. Shall we do the mash?

What mash? dugan.

The monster mash. I believe it will be a graveyard. Why is this horny dnd campaign in here?

To be fair, every dnd campaign is horny. If it's not, you're not doing it right.

Brendan, you done it again. Yeah, you done gave me some bullshit.

Did it awaken anything in you? Did it stir anything up?

It stirred me out of my chair to find a new city to live in, away from you.

Wow.

Just burning this bridge. Get out.

Well, I've done all I can for humanity in this town. I got to keep on shuffling down the road.

Time to start a different anime podcast somewhere else.

A nice, clean, Christian anime podcast.

We watch hamtaro and hamtaro.

Only wait until we get to the hamster. Monster girl. That's episode twelve. Fuck.

Is that a real thing?

Like, a year? It might be. It isn't right now, but you know, there are some sexy hamsters out there.

Oh, yeah.

Shall we get into this? You made me today, so I'm upset with you that I need. I'll be the first one to introduce some concepts.

I knew if I let you wait till the last episode, you'd be off the rails already and just have none of it.

So I was like, look, keep me focused on track. That's why you're here. My handler.

I feel like dana's are handlers. I shouldn't be a handler.

I'm flattered. Thank you.

Dana is the glue holding us together, so I'm putting this off. Let's just dive right in.

Joey episode one.

Episode one, we see a boy wake up in bed next to a girl. This boy, I think we only hear his real name, like, once.

I just call it a main character do you ever bother you can hear it like really early in the first episode ending. That because everyone gives him, like, nicknames.

Yeah, first episode, we get it.

Calling him darling.

Yeah, well, we'll get into it, but he has pet names. The main character wakes up next to a girl and is like, hey, Mia, time to wake up. And then we pan down the bed and she got a big old snake body. And I sneeze very mad. We have a dnd campaign where there are yonti snake people and you've done them dirty. You done them dirty by putting a feel about sneepal.

Danny gets a sneep on D and D. I get the sneeble in anime. It's the deal we worked on when we met.

And I get the snapple in death. So yeah, the snake lady wakes up and is like, I'm so cold. Let me steal your warmth, honey. And just wraps around him and starts restricting him and squeezing the life out of him, looking for them warm cuddles. And he's dying. Of course.

I do this to Paul every morning.

He's strangled.

Just kidding. We don't live together. suck his warmth off. He's very warm and I am not.

It's what keeps him alive, being away. Otherwise he would.

Yes.

So she's cuddling, squeezing the life out of them, and he's like reaching around, trying to break free and grabs the tip of her tail. And she's like, oh, my tail. What are you going to do with that? And he starts jerking it off, of course. Literally not even opening credits. And we're jerking off a snake.

I knew what the show was, but I wasn't expecting this to happen.

I'm killing it. Hot. We're not being around the bush here.

So yeah, she comes and releases him.

I also wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting it to be like flat out like, I am coming.

Hello, it's me.

There's no solo.

I thought she was just going to like, ride around until she loosened up, but no, it happens.

There's a full finish.

Also, her titties are out. So, yeah, we titties out. It's one of those shows too.

I'll just say caveat, like up top. If we're talking about the monster girls going to say like, a good 70% chance the tidies are out.

Yeah.

If we address it every time, we're going to be just saying a lot. So just like assume the tds are almost always out.

Yeah. Like if they're out in public, there's still a 50 50% chance. Maybe even a little bit. Yeah. So, yeah, perhaps he slinks away, sets up a bath for her, talking about how he had to rebuild his house for Mia to live with him. Of course, she comes into the bath nude. He gets an anime nosebleed because he's way too horny. Mia pulls him into the bath. So they're bathing together and we get hints at the prohibited activities that they can't do. So I guess I can't fuck.

It.

So we learned that she's in the house for cultural exchange and he manages to slip away by lowering the water temperature. And she's all cold blooded and freezes up. So now we get the news report in the background to give us all the background narrative to this while he's cooking breakfast. Basically, there was a monster world and a human world that were separate. Monster world was secret, but a government bill was passed that the two worlds can interact.

Have you ever watched season two of Legend of korra or listened to the adventure Zone Amnesty?

It's that because it's that, but much hornier.

Sorry, much hornier.

I don't know if you've seen that korra fan art. They're pretty horny.

I'm afraid to see this fan art, Brendan.

It can't be worse than the show.

This is rule 34. anyways, so basically humans will sponsor monsters to get cultural exchange. We have a mysterious woman appear while he's cooking breakfast. This is like the handler of basically his guidance counselor trying to help out Mia, learn the culture. She's also super horny for him and being seductive and talking about how you can't hurt them and you can't fuck them because they're representatives to their species. So if you deflower them, that's a big ol no.

Damn it.

Yeah, you can't join the ambassadors from.

Foreign countries, but like, come on.

We go way back.

But that's hard because Mia is so in love with him and wants to fuck 24/7. What a pickle.

She's just so horny.

Too horny for it. Mia.

Where does he even put it?

Let's not get into the logistics. I'm sure there's a drawing online for.

You if you want to see it.

Up.

My favorite part is that online there's a Mia body pillow. And it's like 20ft.

It's just so stupidly checked out.

It's like, hey, that's dedication. I'll respect that.

Literally. Go big or go home.

Yeah.

So. Yeah, this is Agent Smith. And she tries to seduce him. And Mia sees and intervenes. And basically she's so charmed that main character accepted her immediately and wasn't freaked out by the monster aspect and is so in love and doesn't care about the anti fucking laws. She just wants to get down with this sweet human.

You can do anything you want.

Have your sneepable baby.

So she tries to fuck him again and wraps him up again, but pops his arm out of his socket and that puts an end to that.

Well, with this scene, she wraps him up and he's squeezing tightly. You hear like the straining noise. He's like, ah, it's going to break. It's going to break. Never specifying what it is. And then you hear just a loud crack and he screams and it's like, it broke. And I was like, his dick. No, it was a shoulder. It might be the boner.

Do you get it? He has a dick.

Do you get it?

Yeah. Also, I skipped over the opening, which is of course what you would expect. Yeah, the song is fine. It's what it needs to be to say, hey, these are sexy monsters.

Yeah, no one's downloading that song and listening to it in their car or anything, but we get the show keys of all of the girls, like the harem that's going to be built throughout the show.

Yeah, I love a good harem.

It's a lot of them.

I wouldn't say this is a good harem.

I think so.

It's a quality harem.

I beg to differ. So, yeah, let's talk about what makes.

A good and bad hair.

That's its own episode, so let's save.

That for just kidding. Year 70 of this podcast.

Back in my day, a good hair grandpa know.

Whatever happened to just a plain old woman? Why does she have to have talons anyways?

Do the chickens have large talons?

This one might.

References there's a chicken monster girl.

So they go on a cultural exchange field trip, which Mia, of course insists is their first date. And Agent Smith is like, hey, no funny business. Don't take her to a cd motel. So they go out, they go to a restaurant, they play a claw game, they're in a photo booth. This quick little montage of the antics of being a monster snake lady out in the world, and they see a storefront that says, hey, humans and monster people, all species are welcome here. And they're like, great, finally some acceptance. But they go in and it's a lingerie store. You know that underwear stuff where it's all fun.

Lacy and sessy.

So of course she's like, hey, I don't wear bras. Help me find a bra. And just slashes them in the store because again, they're in public, so nudity has to happen. And they go into a dressing room and she's so horny and he ends up accidentally stealing her underwear. My favorite of all these shows, when she's so horny for him, but he accidentally touches her underwear. So of course now he's a herb.

And now she's all embarrassed despite yeah, trying to fuck him like five times already.

I want you inside me 24/7, but if you touch my underwear, you are a deviant.

I mean, she's a snake lady. She could like probably unhinged the jaw. nope.

Anyway, we're leaving. That where that stands. So they go outside the store. Wait, hold on.

How does she not wear bras? Her titties are huge. Wouldn't that hurt her back?

It's an anime, okay? In anime, boobs get their own gravitational field where they just defy physics and don't actually have any weight to them unless they need to. I would love like a scientific anime show that breaks down the science of just these absurd pervy ass shows and being like trying to justify all the body contortion and shit and be like.

Well, here we got the way cabin in the woods defined like all horror movies. We need a series to be like, the titty matrix is on the fritz again.

Yeah.

So, yeah, they go back outside. We see some ignorant humans harassing her on the street, being like, what a weird snake lady they're dating. Gross. So Mia goes to hit them, but that will get her deported. So our hero jumps in the way and takes the hit. And they need to run away from the crowd gathering to auggle and take pictures. So the only option that they have to get to is a cd motel. That's the place it says not to go to, though.

Oh my god.

What are the chances it's specifically a love hotel that they have in Japan, which are solely for fucking? Like you're not supposed to spend a night in. Well, you might, but like that's why.

In this room, like the hour rental place.

Yeah. And they got all the supplies you need prestocked in the rooms and stuff.

So, yeah, they go inside and of course she's like, ooh, what's a condom. Why is there so many lubes and sext?

Well, real quick, they're in the hotel for like a minute and she's already in the shower or like bath or whatever and comes out of the bathroom already changed. We were just ducking out here. We weren't going to spend like an hour here.

Yeah, we're just waiting for it to die down. Of course she's like, hey, you saved me. You're a gentleman. Fuck me.

Just fuck my brains out.

So she lays down naked on the bed.

Oh my god.

Weird. And then the swat team busts in.

Wait, no, this was hold on. Hold on a second. This was actually like she had a moment here where she was like, everyone thinks I'm scary. Like I'm not scary. Am I scary to you? She's like sad. And it's like I don't know.

Yeah, it is.

It's not just her being like, fuck me, daddy.

It's a brief character development before fuck me, daddy.

Oh my god.

I'm not scary. I'm just horny as fuck.

I'll give this show it is trying to do more than just be fuck me, daddy. But it's mostly fuck me, daddy.

Duke and Lie just clipped out of contact. It's mostly fuck me, daddy. It tries, but mostly fuck me, daddy.

I await being a ringtone in the near future.

Sorry, my girl's calling out answers.

Excuse me. It's the hospital again. So swat team busts in after they have this nice moment. And Miss Smith is like, what did I hear you say? Don't go to the cd hotel? Oh, you dirty bad boy.

Naughty boy.

Naughty.

I'm sorry.

So they leave this hotel and the people that were harassing them outside found them and are harassing them again. And their main character decides to just punch the dude in the face and lay them out. Tell you he stood up for his lady.

Me. You can't fight them, but humans fight all the time. It's cool.

Yeah, so they're fine. They go back to the house. Ms. Smith takes care of the whole harasser situation so no trouble comes of it. And Mia asks why he fought for her, and he's like, yeah, you're a person, too. Let's have you be treated with respect and say yes. A nice moment. But again, immediately, they try to fuck, but Miss Smith wants to stay for dinner, so she walks in on them naked in the living room.

Shoot.

And that's our episode. And what the hell is up with these end credits? Why are they so fucking metal compared to everything else?

It's an experience. I don't know. I can't justify it, but it's a time and a half, that's for sure. Yeah.

I'll say I love cyclops girl.

Oh, yeah. We don't really get into it in the episodes we watch, but those characters shown in the credits are kind of Ms. Smith's special ops team of, like, monster girls they get in other episodes, we'll see them, but not in the three we watched.

Yeah, they seemed more Tactical Squad than datable Girls, so I assumed it was something like that.

They are still very datable. Don't confuse that.

Don't let me get don't worry. They still want to fuck.

I will say, at the very end, at the end of the credits, I do like that there was a little card of, like, the different species of lima, which are the snake people. And there was, like, one that was more viper like lizardish. There was one that was like medusa. There was one that had wings. There was more dragonish. So I do like the scene. Just the variations of, like, oh, it's not just one snapple. There are different kinds of all these monsters.

And sure, we're going to fuck them all anyway.

Yeah.

What's going on with episode two?

This is like pokemon. It's like pokemon, but we're trying to fuck them.

Oh, so it's like pokemon.

God, when you catch a pokemon, can you fuck it? Have you seen Carnival constant Resume, episode two? That's what my notes say.

Let's get going.

Okay.

I watched this episode, Dubbed, because I was like, there's a dub I got to know.

Yeah, I watched all three dubbed.

I mixed them up.

I watched Sub Dubbed. Sub.

Yeah.

Pulled a brendan, you row with the show.

Committed crimes against humanity.

No wink. Oh, yeah, because I like this. So we open. They're hanging up their laundry on the roof, mia and darling, which I continue to call him. And she's talking about how she's happy because he stood up for her. And then she turns her back, and then he gets snatched by a bird creature. whoa. Who could this be? And he like, I guess he faints when she carries him off, and he wakes up in a tree. And the bird creature is a cute girl named poppy.

Whoa. We didn't see her in the opening credits or anything?

No, not at all.

Absolutely not. Didn't know she was coming.

She will be too. It wasn't me.

All right.

She sees an ice cream truck, and she's like, oh, yes. And she grabs his arm to take him to it, and then she's like, let's go of him. And she's like, Wait, who are you? And then he calls her a bird brain. And I'm like, is that a thing?

Yeah.

Birds have short term memories.

If she takes three steps, she forgets what's happening.

How dumb.

Yes, very much so.

Yeah, so he he gets her some ice cream. They're sitting on a bench, and she's talking about how she was supposed to be reading the monster laws, but she thought it was boring. She couldn't concentrate, so she ran away. But she's using all the wrong words because she's a bird brain and she can't remember anything. And she says that her coordinator said that if she ran off again, she'd be incested and deposited, arrested, and deported.

What a silly mistake. Did the creators of the show know that means something naughty?

No, I probably slip past them.

I don't know if deposited was right. I forget what the word was.

I think it was, but it's not that important.

Yeah, okay. And he's like, that's bad. And she's like, oh. oops. And then she drops her ice cream. Oh, no. And she gets on the ground and cries about it, and she's like, oh, no, I dropped my ice cream. And then he's like, oh, it's okay. I can share mine with you. And his is only something that I can assume is a vanilla popsicle.

Right.

And he stands up and offers it to her. She's on the ground, so he's offering it low.

Yeah.

And instead of taking it from him, she just starts sucking on it. And it looks like she's sucking his dick in public.

Scandalous.

So funny. And it's white, so it's like, all around her face.

I'm like and it's ice cream, so it has different layers to it so it looks like a veiny dick.

Oh, disgusting. Gross. Oh, God.

Because it's not just, like, a solid popsicle. And it's like we get the metaphor. It's like, no, you made a dick out of ice cream and put it on a stick.

My dude creamy popsicle.

It's a cream stick.

Yeah. Pop. People are looking, and they're like, what is Jesus? And they're like, what is going on over there? My stars. And he's like, you should stop. And she's like, But I can't. I don't have hands. I can't hold on to it. That's why I dropped the ice cream. And he pulls it out of her mouth. The way he pulls it out of her mouth, he gets all over her face so it looks like he came all over her face.

That's the joke.

I love the comedy. I think this is what I think is so funny, though. No, listen, I think this show is obviously so aware of itself and it knows that there are certain things it can't do or else it will be a hentai. So it's like, let's do just the silliest shit. Like have him jack off her tail and have her eat a popsicle like that in public. And just have him being like, no.

Yeah. You know what? That's the whole thing.

Yes, I know. I love it.

This goes even further. They found the very letter of the standards in practice and danced right up to it as far as they can.

Like in most etchy. I've seen, it's not like this is like, whoop.

Titty flash is like right on the line. Yeah, it's a full beach scene.

Yeah, I think this is funny. But I feel like also etchy. Most etches. Aren't aware of themselves in the way that this show is. etchy. Is like, let's do that. This is a serious show with Titties with the occasion. This is some bullshit.

This is like the one punch man butt of etchy and harems where it is both a satire of it, but also the biggest example of it.

Like honey pop. Yeah, the dating SIM. Another trope that I like that they used in this. I think they did it on purpose, that you only hear his name once, if ever, actually. And it's mostly a pet name. And he also just has totally undefined features. That's a big trope in hentai where the main guy will like have yeah, it'll be like you can pretend this is you because you see his face. His eyes are always like, yeah, whatever.

He's a solace vessel for you to put your horny come on her.

Exactly. So it looks like she's got come on her. And that's the joke. And she says she's sticky, so she needs to take a bath. And he's like, okay, let's go in the bathroom then. Let's go over there. And then she's like, no, I'll just take a bath right here. And she takes off her clothes and jumps in the fountain because she doesn't.

Have a big old bird bath.

And she drags him in with her. And then Mia gets there and she's like, excuse me. And she fights with poppy and and her shirt rips open. At some point. I missed how and just both of their titties are out. Just like fully out.

Yeah.

You know how you accidentally tear a perfect circle for each tit to just flop out of and leave the center part fully intact? You know how you do that accidentally?

It happens all the time.

All the time.

Yeah. What was I going to say? Oh, in the first episode, there were like, no nipples. Like, every time you saw me as Titties. But in this one there were. And I was like, Continuity?

It keeps switching because there were definitely nipples in episode one. I never saw any then you didn't watch the first scene where the tail jack off happens. I mean, I saw her tidya, but nipples were there too. They keep trying to do the artistic, like, oh, there's a piece of hair covering the nipple. But they do that, like, every other time. So it's like, hey, you're showing your nipples half the time. Why are you being coy now?

I think just show them all the time.

It's fine.

I think it's what they want.

Monster titties. I think it's like a pg 13 movie where it's only allowed one F word so that they might have, like, a nipple budget where they're like, you're only allowed to show ten nipples. Like, make them count. And they're like, all right, we'll still show the whole tit, but just, like, cover the nipples somehow.

All right, I want to move on from this. I'm sorry I brought it up because I hate the word nipple.

I don't know why we just defaulted to tit to be our boob word, but I know same. I have never said tit outside of recording this episode, and I don't know why it's happening. And I apologize to society as a whole.

Yeah, for this whole episode. Anyway, so they're fighting, and then he's like, no, stop. You guys are drawing a crowd. Stop it. And then they realize that no one's actually looking. And he says, why is no one looking at this? Which I think is very fun.

This is great. This is what you want to say?

Isn't this what you wanted?

Are you not entertained?

And then no one's looking because they're all looking up at a girl, a little girl that's stuck in a tree. So poppy is like, I have wings. I can save her. But she's all wet, so she can't save her because she can't fly too heavy. So then Mia is like, I can do it. I can do this. So she she gets a shirt back on, thankfully. And she slithers up the tree. And she's like, this is my chance. I'm going to impress my darling. This is it. And she gets up there, and she's like, come over here, little girl. And the little girl is like, no. She gets scared, and she falls out of the tree. And then poppy swoops in and saves her. But her wings are still too heavy or something. So she falls on the protagonist with her whole vagina. Yeah, all there. Forget boobs to face. That's boring, outdated we did that keep.

It fresh episode ago. That's old news.

We got to get a new fetish.

Put the vagina in the face. And then Mia is like, sad that poppy is getting all of the recognition for saving this girl because she kind of helped. She got her out of the tree.

I scared the child into falling almost to her dad.

I helped.

And the little girl's mom is like, thanking poppy. And Mia is kind of like, but then there's like, another. Sweet little moment of the main character being like, I think you did a good job, mia. And he like, gets the leaves out of her hair.

No, it's sweet.

He obviously likes her best.

Wow.

And then she was his first.

There's validity to it.

And then a police dude rolls up and he thanks them for helping because he was supposed to help. But if the police are useless, he got there too late. And he's like, hey, you guys are monster girls. We're your host families. And mia is like, well, this is my guy, but I don't know about her. I'm so sorry. And then he decides in that moment that he's going to invite poppy to live with him. And he's like, she belongs to me, officer. And then the policeman is like, can I see her ID? And they're all kind of like, no.

This is what I call my bluff.

Oh, jeez. But luckily, Ms. Smith is there with poppy's ID. Oh, thank goodness. And then they go back to his house, and it turns out that Ms. Smith was taking poppy to live with him anyway because she was having trouble housing her because she kept running away from her host family. And then poppy drags him off to finish their bath. And mia is like, oh, don't keep him in there for too long. Make sure he's warm or something like that. And then Ms. Smith is like, wow, mia, you're being, like, surprisingly chill. And she's like, yeah, it's fine. Like, she's just a little kid, like, snowbird, I know he loves me. nbd. And then Miss Smith is like, oh, no, poppy's your age. harpies just look small. And she's like, what? So she barges into the bathroom and I don't know why I liked this tactic where she was just like, never mind. I'll take the bath with her. It's fine. Instead of it becoming like a fight kind of it was her just being like, all right, get out of here. I'm going to take the bath with her instead.

Yeah. She just removes darling from the equation entirely.

Yeah. Instead of a cat fight. But she does kind of like, tell her when they're taking a bath together, she's like, washing her hair. And she's like, he's mine, though. Don't touch him. And then poppy is just kind of like, okay. I don't know. And then darling checks in the fridge and it's empty. So the next day, he's out grocery shopping and he's on his way home, and he rounds the corner and something just comes up and knocks him the fuck down.

Whoa.

And it's a horse lady. Cool.

Centaurs.

Centaur. And she has huge boobs.

Just too big. Even the tickets of Buddy bigger than her head.

Massive. Her name is Centauria?

Yeah.

But I didn't feel like writing that down in my notes every time, so I just kept calling her capital H horse.

Yeah, Centauria is not the most creative name I've heard.

Yeah. It's also a mouthful.

I think she even ends up telling the main character, just call me Sarah seria.

Call me bojack.

Her name is bojack.

Her name is Mystery. And so she's like, hello, I'm looking for a master. And he calls up Miss Smith because she deals with this stuff. And she says that Horse is allowed to be outside by herself because she is searching for her own host family because it's like in the centaur law that you're like supposed to look for your own master. And she's also like, it's my day off. Leave me alone. Which is fair.

Fuck off. I'm not dealing with this.

We also get a shot of her in like a sports bra and undies because it's her day off. Just thought I'd put that out there.

She's also a functioning alcoholic. Beer canned everywhere.

Yeah. And so he gets off the phone and she's like, I wonder if the Japanese spell worked. And he's like, what Japanese spell? And she's like, it said that if you bump into someone, they become your true love. And he's like, that only happens in anime. And she's like, maybe I should have done it with toast in my mouth.

Very self aware.

We need to officially add saying this isn't an anime to the anime bingo card.

Yeah, love that. And while they're having this conversation, like a schoolgirl walks by and she's kind of just like zoning out and watching them. And then a guy rides by on a moped and snatches her purse.

Got it.

Oh, no. And horse draws her sword. She's ready to fight. She has a sword in a sheath. And then she's like ready to go after him. And then she's like, but I'm not allowed to do that on my own. I need someone to come with me. Come with me. And then he's like, all right, let me get on your back, I guess. And she's like, no, only my master can ride me.

Do you get it?

And he's like, well, then what am I supposed to do? How are we going to catch up with him? And then they do catch up with him. And she's just like holding on to him on her side. And he's just like flailing around. And then there's a chase scene. And they're chasing the guy on the moped. They're chasing the thief and they run into a bunch of water bottles. And then the horse girl, her shirt gets wet.

Titties.

Oh, no. They're running through the nipple tassel factory. I wonder what will happen next.

Oh, no. The baby oil parade festival.

Oh, god.

Oh, man. Too slippery. And the thief takes an on ramp onto a highway. And he thinks that they lost him, but they didn't because she jumps down onto the highway. Can you imagine this? You're just like on your commute to work and you just see a horse woman with a boy just flailing around on her back.

You're driving your delivery truck.

I'm a plumber. I'm on my way to lay some pipe. No, I got interrupted from my own porn parody.

That's a plumber from Painting and stocking.

Yes.

So he ends up on her back somehow, and the only thing he can hold on to is her titties.

Of course, they're easiest to hold.

Brace yourself.

Yeah. You know how you're like falling and naturally the only hand hold you have are just two watermelons on the counter? You know how that's a good hand hold?

Yeah. But especially squishy watermelon.

Yeah.

I've been talking about this for so long, Part. So long. And then while he's doing that, he loses grip and her shirt comes open. So her boobs are out and they're jumping around because she's running. And then the thief sees her tits and he's like, oh, jeez. And he gets a nosebleed. And then he crashes into a paint truck. And then she's distracted and she runs into a building somehow. I don't know when they got off of the highway and back onto the streets, but she runs into a building and she's upset because she's been disrespected, but she still wants to bring the thief to justice, but she can't find her sword. And then the thief is there somehow, and he draws the sword to slash her. But then darling gets between them and he's like, this is it for me. My life is flashing before my eyes. And then the screen goes dark, and then it comes back to him on the phone with Miss Smith, and he says, I'm okay. The sword is a replica. I'm fine.

Great.

Great stuff. Good. Glad.

And then he tells Miss Smith about what happened, and she's like, oh, no, you didn't ride on her back, did you? And he's like, I mean, I kind of ended up there. And she's like, oh, gee. Well, in centaur law, that kind of means you're married now and if you didn't have her permission to do it, that means you, like, violated her. And he's like, what? And he, like, leaps off of the couch and, like, flies through the air and slams down on his hands and knees. And he's like, I am so sorry. Which I also like because he doesn't want to be in this situation. The animators just keep putting him there.

He's a respectful lad. He's not here for the lose.

Yeah. No, he's just like, please, I'm so sorry. I did not mean for this to happen. And she's like, it's okay. You can call me sera. That's what all of my family and friends call me. And I am sorry that my thirst for justice got us in this situation. And she's like, that's the first time anyone has done anything like that for me. And I think I really like you, and I think I want you to be my master. Is that cool? And he's like and then mia and poppy barge in, and they're like, what are you doing? And then mia says, how many girlfriends are you going to bring home? And I'm like, at least five.

At least.

And then they're eating dinner, and there's some, like, gross distasteful body shot. Like, what else could you expect talking? And then the episode was over.

Hey, you know how everyone's eating right now? Wouldn't this dinner be better with a panty shot? No, thanks.

Wouldn't this dinner be better if you just saw Serraya's Boobs and me as snake ass?

Rather be eating something else?

There it is. All right, episode eight starts off I'm just going to keep calling him darling. Yeah, that's fine. I'm just going to keep calling her Horse, with a capital H. It's easier than her, really. So darling wakes up, and the alarm is going off, and he goes to hit the alarm, and whoop. He grabs the titty. He grabs a whole titty, but it's horse's titty. So she's, like, kind of hovering around them all day, being very protective, and he goes in and makes all the girls breakfast. And now we see there's more girls. We got a mermaid. We got a slime girl. We got a spider girl.

Slime girl, slime girl, slime girl.

We know dana's wife. Who?

I love slime girl.

So as of this episode now, we have six total. We have six monster girls living in this house with darling. And as darling is making breakfast, he gets attacked by rec nira, which is the spider girl. And she's flirting with him and kind of teasing them a bit. And while she's doing that, she's also kind of talking with everyone else, kind of charming everyone, like, entertaining poppy with she does, like, catch cradle stuff with the spider webbing and stuff. And it's very charming with the mermaid, who's kind of like a princess and fancy that trope. And the whole time, Me is just, like, very bitter. It's like, I don't like her. I don't trust her. She's too buddy buddy with darling. She's like, what do you think, Horse? She's like, no, you can't judge a book by its cover. You just got to be nice. She's part of the family now, but the whole time, she's hovering over darling all day because she doesn't want reconnaissa to get nearer. And then darling goes to the bathroom, and as he's going in, he's like, hey, Horse, chill. Got to drop a deuce. She's like, oh, God. Sorry. It flusters. And this is when mia talks to her, like, I don't know if I can trust this spider lady. And then they hear a loud bang from the bathroom, and they throw it open. And you see Rachnea tied up darling, like, in her web and kind of like bondage like, oh, he he walked in on me.

Whoops.

And they're just like, I'm watching you. I know something's up.

Because naturally, as a spider, all of the webs need to be used for bondage. Nothing else.

Absolutely.

She builds a hammock as well, but mostly bondage. 90% bondage, one could argue.

Hammocks are bondage. It's just like relaxation and not sexual. Okay.

All the girls the original sex way.

Oh, no, true.

I don't I don't think sex in a hammock would work.

No, absolutely not.

No, you got to try real hard. You got to be real dedicated.

The balance involved terrible. So all the girls are a fetish. Like, all of them are a trope. And recnee is like the bondage dominatrixy sort of one because she can make her own rope and stuff. So that night, darling is going to bed, and as he jumps down in bed, trouble rolling around, it's kind of sticky up. He's in the web. Guess what? He's getting fucked again. Rachnea comes down and she webbed up the door and she's like, all right, now we got some alone time. And she takes off her top and strips down and she's just like on top of them. It's like, I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck the shit out of you.

Also something that makes me so mad about her is she's sort of centaur esque with like from the waist off.

She's humanish.

Yeah, but she still has a full human ass on top of her.

Spider ass has a fun. That really bothered me too, actually.

It doesn't like the spider part doesn't connect at her waist. It connects at, like, her knees. Like so she still has thighs and an ass. And it's just like from the knees down, it's just dumb as shit.

It's the same with mia.

Yeah, she still has the ass.

In the episodes we watched, we don't really see much of her stuff, but she still has a bug. And I'm pretty sure when he took her panties from her, like, she has a vagina too. Weird how?

And what sort of mermaid esque, of like the legs start but then just fuse together so you still have that little tiny gap for a vagina and a book.

You can't have the T without the A.

It doesn't make sense in this show.

And so as right, nate is like getting down on him, horace just cuts through the door, like just slashes it like ten times and breaks the door open. And even darling is like, oh, I thought that was a fake sword, which shows how powerful her love was. And Horse just picks up darling and runs out with him and jumps through a window and starts running down the street trying to rescue him from Ragnaea. And she's running Darling's on her back and she starts having like a daydream sort of like, what if they just ran away together and started a new life with just the two of them? And it close to them, like dating and then getting married and a shot of her pregnant. And it's like, all right.

I hated that.

It was real bad. I fucking hated that one.

I don't even want to think about what those babies would be like.

It's three quarters human and a quarter horse. It's just a human with a weird stanky horse leg.

It's a fawn.

I guess it would be like mr. Tumbnas.

I like to think it's a fond, but with one horse, I like to think it's a fond. But with one human leg and one like, horse leg, he's just a monster.

Please. I'm split down the middle. My left half is horse. My right half is human. It does not line up.

It's an abomination. So while she's running down the street with darling on her back, everyone's staring. And she's like, they are staring because I'm a demi human and I'm a half creature. And they all gaze at me. And it's a stare we've had to puddle with our whole lives. You never quite get used to it. Meanwhile, darling is just kind of like, they're staring because your teddies are going nuts. And while she's running up and down the street and as they're running, they bump back into that obnoxious couple from episode one that we're making fun of them. And now that he's with a horse, they're making fun of her girlfriend's a horse now. It's crazy. He's into this weird shit. It's like, look at this pervert. But now they have, like a gang with them as well. So they kind of like grab darling and hold them back. And then they hold back horses like arms. And they're just like the main obnoxious guy we saw from before is just straight up like, hey, I'm going to molest your titties. I'm just going to like, I got my gang here. We're going to hold you down. It's just like, wow, this went from just harassment to like, full on assault danger. Yeah.

And and so earlier, like horse dick jokes and stuff.

It's a lot.

He must have a huge dick to satisfy her.

Yeah, a lot of that stuff. Mr. hans, there's a reference for you if anyone knows that one. And they were making fun of horse. And she's like, I don't care. Just ignore them. And then they make fun of darling. And she's like, oh, god, I cash right here. And she's like, whoa. So she's clearly very protective. And while they're holding her back and about to assault her, ratna just drops down and ties everyone up. And she's like, what have we got here? And she's like, is trying to do the creepy spider thing and threatening everyone. And like, you can't hurt us. It's illegal for demi humans to attack humans. She's like, oh, it's only illegal if I get caught. Like, I can get away with it. I'm real fucking good at this. And she shows her fangs and stuff and scares them all. And they all pass out so hard. If you're into being eaten alive by a big spider lady. Here you go. And reconnay, goes over to darling and picks him up, and the Horse kind of, like, freaks out and runs up alongside of him and what's going on here? She, like, steals darling back from her. It's like, no, I'm rescuing them, sort of. And she's just, like, so protective, them. And rachael just kind of laughs. She's like yo horse way too serious. Why the long face? You got to just, like, relax. And she's like, I'm fine if you don't like me, but at least be honest about it. Stop pretending like you're better than everyone and being like, don't judge your book by its cover. You can judge me and not like me. That's fine. Just be open about it. Like, let's stop pretending like you weren't hovering around darling all day because of me. She's like, oh, I guess you're right. Maybe you're not so bad. And ragna grabs darling again, starts walking away with him back home, and he's kind of tripped over her shoulder, her arm and laughing. And Horse runs up and say, maybe you're actually maybe I'll still be on guard around you, especially around darling and all that.

She says, like, I can dislike her, but I can trust her as well.

Yeah, so they can live together and they start walking back home and Horse says, like, oh, Rachnea, I got her pay you for saving. It's my honor. Like, I have to pay you back somehow. And ragna is like, oh, cool, I got an idea. You can pay me back. And then it jump cuts to them back at home. And ragna just has her tied up in bondage and like, tagged and stuff. And it's like, I'm going to practice my bondage on a centaur. I don't get to do that a lot. So that's how she pays her back, bondage and horses.

That's a weird there's too many fetishes happening in that one.

Everyone is a fetish. Everyone represents a fetish in this show. So we do like, a commercial bumper and we come back to, like, part two. And darling's sick. He's got a cold and all the girls are worried about him.

Oh, no.

And Me is there in, like, a nurse outfit, and she's like, ah, maybe I can nurse you back to health and health and help you out and cater to all your needs and stuff. Maybe I can inject you, maybe you can inject me. And she has, like, a needle and she's stabbing herself in a tid with it. And it's like what?

Why do you think this is sexy?

What have you been watching?

Yeah, I'm just like, what's happening right now? And then Ms. Smith jumps down and she's like, no, everyone back off. You got quarantine. You can't have human diseases going to demihumans or vice versa. So, like, quarantine, no one touch them. So it's one of those episodes where they got to be separated, and Miss Smith says, like, I'll take care of them. You guys. Don't worry about it. And then it cuts to Ms. Smith, like asleep in the living room, just instantly passed out. We get a little cut to her team back in the office saying, like, Ms. Smith just wanted to get out of work. She said she'd take care of him, but she doesn't care. She just doesn't want to do all the paperwork she has to do. So the girls are like, great. Smith out of the equation now. We can help darling, but we still can't go in there and risk getting sick. It's like, well, who out of all of us cannot get sick? Maybe they can help. And they look at sue, the slime girl.

Slime girl, slime girl, slime girl, slime girl.

She is resistant to infections for whatever reason. Sure.

And don't you know your slime biology.

Is made of slime by slime anatomy? Slim ology, slim ology. I watched Double Dare. I know. Nick.

Mark summers did not lead me.

Oh, god, those Mark summers is a slime girl anyway.

No, he is a noted germophobe.

He is? Yes. Good eats. And so Horace is like, cool.

It's unwrapped shit. Thank you. I used to watch Unwrapped Religion.

Oh, it's so good. It's a great show. There's part of my head brain where I'm like, I know that's not right, but I can't spend time thinking about it instead of spending time talking about it right now. Anyway, Horace is like, great. We can send sue in, and she'll be a nurse by proxy. And we can like she's not smart. Like, she's kind of just like the ditzy, like swan girl. She has no brain. You can see through her. So she's like, we can just teach her what to do and do stuff to her. And then she can just go in that room and do it to darling. And that was mero's idea. The mermaid. She's like, oh, she can be, like, master and AC. Sue shapeshift into darling, and she's got, like, a low antenna. They're like, oh, shit. I didn't know you could do that. That's wild. Fuck buck wild. So they treat all of his ailments, and they come up with different ideas. So Horse is like, oh, you got to take his temperature the Japanese way. So she puts her forehead to sue's forehead, and just being that close to even someone that looks like darling, she gets, like, too flustered and like, oh, god, he's got a fever. But now I got a fever because I'm so hot and bothered. It's too much.

It's too pure, too horny for that forehead.

It's so good. Mirror is like, oh, mermaids. When they get sick, they sit in, like, a herble bath. Like, he got sit in one of those, and we see sue running a bath for him. He's like, oh, that's fucking freezing his shit. How long do I have to be there? And merrill is just like, oh, usually like a week or two. She's like, I will die not doing that one. So they're just come up with different ideas. And sue tries to help him with his breathing, or no, when she does the forehead thing and puts her head against his forehead, he's like, oh, it's slime, it's cold, it's refreshing. Like, that's nice. And then she just absorbs his whole head and starts, like, drowning him in her face.

We've all been there, am I right?

Two opposite responses. mia is like, no, let me give him some of my home cooking. And everyone's like, oh, God, me is a terrible cook. And she's like, no, I made a rice pudding. And they're like, oh, that actually doesn't look that bad. Like, what's in it? And they're like, oh, it's like, rice, white chocolate, white garbanzo, bean, anything that's white. She just put all white stuff in there. And they're like, you can't just put stuff in there just because it's white. That doesn't make rice pudding. And mero tries it and gets, like, Little Mermaid flashbacks of, like, death and her body decaying and stuff. And it's just like, that's how bad the food is. It feels like she's dying. So they're like, I don't know about that. And we see sue go in with the rice pudding and present it to darling. And he's like, I don't know if mia cooked it. And she opens it, it's like, oh, it's already gone. What happened? And sue was like, oh, I ate it on the way in here. He's like, oh, thank you. Yeah, dodge a bullet there. So next, poppy lays on top of sue, who's shapeshifted in the Master. And she's like, oh, maybe my feathers will be, like, nice and soft and warm and help, like, comfort them, like and he can relax. So she lays on, like, sue as the Master, and everyone's just kind of like, yo, this is weird. Look like, no, this isn't okay. It looks like you're spooning after sex. She's like, what? No, that's not what it is.

What?

No, something that appears sexual on the show that isn't. I can't imagine.

So sue goes in and does that and she just makes, like, instead of shapeshifting into poppy, like we've seen she can do, she just, like, gives herself wings, like arms, and it's just, like the slimy, like, feather stuff. And he's, like, horrified. And she's just, like, muttering stuff. And he's like, yeah, no, not doing that one. But then when poppies on top of him, mia gets jealous just seeing her with someone who looks like darling, she's like, nah, if you're doing that, I'm going to do it too. And she, of course, strips down completely and starts rubbing up against sue as darling. And she's like, oh, he's got a fever, so he's probably sweating, so I got to wipe all the sweat off with my body. So she's just grinding up against him naked.

That's not how it works. It's not a turban.

Not at all, especially as a snake and Horse is like, well, if you've got a fever, you got to he got heat the fever out of them. You got to overheat it. So she just takes sue and just smashes her into her tits. And so you got to overheat it. And she gets all flustered and freaked out by that again. And they're fighting over different ways, the proper way to treat darling. And that's when Rachnea just like, fuck it. I'm done with you. And just wraps everyone up in webs and hangs them from the ceiling. We ain't doing this. And she's like, let me do my trick to cure darling. And when she turns around, sue's already gone. And this is when sue ran off to do all the different treatments. And we see sue rubbing all up against darling. But now she changed her body, so it's more voluptuous, like mia. So she can just mash her tits all over him and stuff. And then she starts following them and, like, rubbing all around them. And he gets too excited. It's too much for him. And he passes out. And when he gets knocked out, sue just kind of touches his head with her antenna sort of thing and just can read his mind, I guess. Is that a slime thing?

Why didn't she do that before?

And we get flashbacks of her in a little raincoat and, like, boots, and she's out in the rain. And the thing we don't know from this episode is she's made a slime, so she absorbs water. And if she absorbs too much water or if she's around too much water, she'll dissolve and tie, essentially. So it looks like she was out and about in the town and it started raining, so she's kind of trapped there. And we see darling come running up with an umbrella. He's like, oh, hey, I'm here to get you. I'm here to bring you back home. Here, take my umbrella so you don't get washed away. And when he gives her an brother walking back, and he starts sneezing, and it's kind of like, oh, that's how he caught the cold. He caught it because he was out rescuing sue. So and while she was house it's darling. And while she's, like darling, while she was, like, reading his mind, she likes the thoughts of, like, he's thirsty, and he's, like, really hot, and he wants to cool down. So she's like, oh, I know a trick to do it. And then we see just darling, like, waking up. And he's like, ooh, this feels nice. It feels, like, refreshing and feels like my fever is going away. What is this thing? And boom, it's sue's Tit. She's just matching his tit in his face and kind of like lip.

I did not like it.

I did not like he was, like, thirsty. So, I guess. Drink it. I don't know. And it's totally night now, so hours. Have passed. And now darling is like, healthy again. He's like, aha, I'm all better. And that's when all the girls like, storm in the room. I was like, darling, we don't care if we get sick. We're going to come in and say, oh, you're better. It's like, oh, yeah, sue. Sue helped me out. And then sue's there, she starts, like, talking. She's like, oh, yeah. I felt bad because he got sick out rescuing me. So I wanted to make him feel better for, like, doing that to me because I love him. And they're like, whoa, sue can talk. That's crit. Wait a minute. You say you love him and they're just like, you suffer, bitch. Now we got another competition. Because up to this point, sue didn't really talk. And they're just like she's just like a friend. And now it's just like, oh, now she's a rival. She's another love rival. And so when Ms. Smith walks in and she's like, hey, what are you girls doing? And here nestles being here. And then she sneezes and say, oh, Ms. Smith got the cold now. And we see her calling her we see her calling her group of girls. And it's like, hey, can you come over and take care of me? And they're like, no, no, bitch. You give us too much work. See you.

Delightful.

That's monster MASOOMA in a nutshell. So are you satiated? Satisfied? indulged?

I don't like any of those words. Context.

I don't know what you're talking about.

This is more fun than I thought it was going to be. Hey, that those, like, small things of actually, you could tell it's very cheesy. And they didn't try super hard because they didn't need to. They gave you monster titties. And that's what you're there for.

You know what you're there for. Here it is.

Yeah, that little extra effort to be like, hey, they do actually care about each other. It's a good family. Besides everyone wanting to fuck the one guy. It's nice. It is exactly what you would think it would be. But it's not as bad as some of the other stuff we've seen.

I think we've just hit the bar low with some other shows we've recently watched. So now it doesn't look as bad.

There is a joy in hitting rock bottom.

It can't get worse than this.

Because this is really just like there's the punchline to these. Yes, they're like, this is why it's funny. And here's a break. Here's a little break where they are shown, like dugan said, caring about each other and like having a sweet moment with darling. It's not just non stop.

I think there's one episode, but I.

Kind of was expecting it to be. So I'm a little disappointed.

You're disappointed that it wasn't non stop.

I've heard so much about it. I was just expecting it to be so much worse. I enjoyed it.

I'm kidding.

But it was fun.

I mean, it is still like a good 70% of just like, titties and panty shots and all that. So there's a lot.

What were you expecting?

Yeah.

All right, dude.

Are we there yet? Would you continue watching this show?

Clearly not. But.

Hey, you said there was some fun moments. That's more than I was expecting, so I'll count it as a win.

You got a win like that. What's going on next week? Please get a palate boulder, like elemental titty monsters. Can we take a titty Monster break for a little bit?

For a little while?

Yeah. I picked something that I've heard a lot of good things about. It's a movie. It's called a silent voice. I think it's going to be much different than this, I think much different than the last three songs I watched.

Hopefully the titty monsters.

I'm excited to give it a go for good things.

I'm excited.

And if there's a show you would like us to watch, please send us your suggestions. You can reach us. Our email is rweebeveryet@gmail.com. You can also reach out on Twitter and Instagram at areweevar yet. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Mr. Patrick dugan.

You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period. weaboo and on Twitter at queen underscore weebu and queen underscore weebu art.

You can find me on Twitter at aBTS Brendan. It stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a video game podcast.

I also do thank you to camille ruley for our artwork and thank you to Louisong for theme songs stories off the album beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.

Slime slime Spider boyfriend is the best wife.

Key you.