Ready? Fight.

Hello, and welcome to our week. There yet an exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.

I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.

And I'm brenda mccullough, your anime firm support coccyx. cushion.

Okay.

It's because I got soy and I can't sit down writing.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, boy. I hurt up that I can't sit down. I got donut pillow.

Actually, Megan, I can't sit anywhere. I have hemorrhoids TikTok. Anybody not tick tock? vine. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. You already forgot about vine. Look how far we've come as a society.

All right?

Involved. Back in my day, they were hit clips. They were a single little plastic thing you put in a tiny boom box and you played one song. It was a waste of plastic and electronics.

Back in my day, we would just say TV references to each other every five minutes. What happened to those days?

We made a podcast out of it.

Yeah, fair.

That's all my humor is. I got nothing else.

Anyway, I think it's only fair one of us asks what's going on this week, because dugan's divirthday. Boy.

You know what I want for my birthday?

What do you want for your birthday?

Me to come out in a drunken spiderman costume like I did in college.

Yeah.

Nope, not this time. You ruined so many birthdays in the past.

I did. I really did. What do you want?

We can unpack that later.

But we have sods to watch. Oh, but we already watched it. We watched it last year.

Oh, my dear sweet summer child didn't you know there's so many Zoids. There's too many Zoids. You'll never escape Zoids on the 23rd day of March.

Oh, no.

Just imagining, like, a weird willy wonka, but in, like, steampunk zoe Tech.

I'm drunk with mechanated animal power so.

Spicy, there's no knowing where they're rolling.

Oh, God, there really is a lot of Zoids, ain't there?

Oh, yes. I've been sitting on this for a full calendar year because as soon as we finished the last episode, someone on Twitter, Alice, said, hey, have you heard about this other Zoid series? You should watch that. And I was like, guess I'm banking that for the next birthday. I have.

I know you just watched Zoids, but have you heard about this cool thing called more Zoids called Zoids two Zoids, the zequel? Because I remember we watched Zoids, and I was like, yeah, like a zero and, like, the wolf one and this one, and none of them were in the Zoids we watched. I was like, yeah, I had the.

Same sensation last year. And it turns out, upon further research, that this zoid's new century, which I just realized I had not fully said yet, is the thing that I watched most as a child. So this is my prime Zoids experience. Ha ha. Jokes on me last year. Patrick, this is the one you were looking for.

Will this happen again next year when you find out the true Zoids that you really did watch again?

The Zoids I made along the way.

We are the Zoids you made along the way.

My favorite zoid was David tennant. He was pretty good, but Matt Smith is all right. It changes with each season. Yeah.

I get the joke.

That got what it deserves.

Don't worry about it. You don't need to be so what.

Happens in this Zoids show? Does it change it up? Are they like, Power Rangers now? Or do they get, like, mech armor and tools to fight with them? Or is it just so it's again?

Whoa.

Brendan, I think you're familiar enough with anime to know that the second series in any sequence is just gamifying the previous show.

The card game, of course.

This is zoid's Card Battle Extreme.

You know what? Anime is dumb enough, I'm actually looking that up. zoid's card game.

Oh, if there's a card game, I'm going to just blow my entire savings, which is like, one dollars at this point.

Better have a good savings account because there's a zoe Trading Card Game.

Well, now you know what to get me for my birthday.

I don't want to enable this.

You shouldn't. So, yeah. Have either of you seen any other zoe? No, I haven't been avoiding it. Brendan, do you know this?

Oh, yeah, I know zoeys. I had a bunch of the figures because they were, like, action figures slash models where you could actually, like, assemble them themselves and, like, take parts off. That's why they got those big weird red, like, nuts on the big weird red screws on the outside.

Yeah, good idea.

Dodge that bullet seamlessly. Did you?

Or is that the episode?

My zoid truck nuts.

Just kidding. We found it there.

Yeah, I had a bunch of these. Like, I don't remember really caring for the show that much. Like, I remember the Zoids, but I don't remember anything else, like, story wise or stuff. But I remember, like, yeah, those are cool. And I like, models. I'm a nerd. It's all I need.

Yeah, I don't really truly remember anything from the show besides yeah, they're just robot animals fighting each other with big guns. That's all I need. I'm seven.

Yeah, it's highly entertaining.

Well, we're going to watch the first three episodes of zoid's New centuries. Everyone hop in your max. Power up. It's time to do what?

Oh, no. I run dice. This is the wrong game.

Ooh, that's a blast from the past. Delicious nostalgia rained down upon me.

Just want to live it and never grow as a person or experience anything new.

No, this is the only media I'm consuming from this point on, and the.

Media corporations know it because that's all they're doing.

All of my Google targeted ads quest.

For Zoids, that's all I need. You finally hit the mark, Google. You finally listen to me, zuckerberg.

You can finally close now.

Hot young Zingles in your area. It's the Zoid dating website.

If there's a program that matched you up with Zoids in my area, of course I would take all those viruses.

Oh, God. What was the one like? A hellcat. It's like, oh, no, I'll be bad match. I'm a shadow wolf or whatever. Command wolf.

There was an ad trying to set me up with a Zoid cougar in my area, but it wasn't what I was expecting.

Screw zodiac sign. What's your zoid? That's the question on the first date. Yes.

Astrology can go to hell. We found the true Mark.

Boy. Let's dig into this.

Let's go. There's not much to dig into. I tell you what, this episode of our podcast could be half an hour.

This is not a desert, it's a sandbox.

Yes. I'm going to try so hard for it to be.

We're doing this for years.

1 minute. Okay. In episode one, my first note was, oh, God, they're back.

And I are at the same thing. Oh, God. They're back.

The punctuation has an exclamation point of toad.

It was weird.

Oh, God. They're back.

They're baket.

They're back. Yeah.

So in this, we don't get an opening ever, but we do get an explanation about Zoid battles. Zoid fights because now that's what they moved on to is people get into teams and they fight with Zoids.

What was once weapons of mass destruction used for war and conquering other lands are now just sports.

It's sports, baby. This is a sports anime.

This is the weirdest episode of Career I'll ever love.

Hey, you haven't finished Jury on Ice.

Fair enough.

I hear that. So we see a space station, and then we hear voices talking about approving Zoid battles. And then from the space station, we see a Judge capsule is released. So the Judges come from space. And then we see a guy who turns out to be our main character. And I thought his name was vic, but it turns out it's Bit. vic Cloud.

That's such a stupid name. It's perfect.

It's wonderful.

It's just a delight on the tongue.

To say bitch Cloud.

How does that help?

Bitcoins are made.

Bit cloud.

Bazinga. So he's a scavenger and he's looking for parts in the desert. And he sees the Judge capsule land, and then there's a Droid inside and he says, this area is restricted because Zoids are coming to fight each other.

Make way for Zoids.

And then some saber tiger Zoids and other Zoids roll up. It's three versus three. And Bit is like, I'm going to stay because I bet I could get some good parts after this fight.

Scrap about.

He's a child.

Yeah.

These Zoids, they fight and we get three characters named lena, Brad and Leon.

Fucking Brad. Brad I found out because I couldn't resist licking up Brad. Brad is also voiced by the guy who does Double D and Ed and Eddie, and he does the voices for Baby bugs, daffy and tweetie and Baby lindy tunes.

Wow.

Good show.

Good.

And then lena gets taken down pretty quickly because she's a woman. She's not good. And then there are, like, some folks watching the fight remotely. There's a guy that I toward the end of my notes called the professor, and also a child.

Two separate characters.

Yeah. And they are watching the fight. And then Brad goes down, and the professor talks about how he doesn't know how he'll be able to pay them if they lose. And then there's more Zoid fighting, and Leon is the last hope. And Leon sees Bit going to grab some stuff, and he's like, Wait, no. The battle has to end. There's a kid on the battlefield because he doesn't want him to get hurt. And then the enemy team ends up taking down Leon because they're like, oh, pussy. You're just trying to cancel this fight because you're losing.

God, I hate leon's hair. That mushroom cap hat.

Yeah. No, this is some of the worst anime hair I've ever seen.

It's like an umbrella hat.

It's so weird. Like, he sleeps in a salad bowl or something.

He sleeps on his head?

Yeah, he's a weebly wobble.

And then the enemy team takes Leon down, and then they see Bit and he introduces himself. And then the judge is like, hey, this battle was supposed to be over. This battle is invalidated.

This battle is hashtag canceled.

And then The Professor and Child get mad because I guess they didn't know that Leon wanted it to get canceled. I don't know. And then the enemy team leaves and they'll fight in the same place tomorrow. And then they're back on their base. And the crew I called them the crew, they're talking about the damage to their Zoids and how will they ever fight because they don't have the equipment.

They need weeks of repair times, not just day.

I also like, they get attacked and lena and Brad get shot down or whatever. It's like, all right, they're out. And then Leon seems to have also gotten the same amount of damage, and yet he shows up with a broken arm, a broken foot, and a bandages around it. What the fuck happened to him?

What happened to you?

We saw you.

What happens when you buckle your zeet belt?

I want to zeet this shit off the plane.

So they're talking about that, and then somehow we don't see how this happened. Bit got onto their base, and he's in there and he sees Big Zoid, which is called liger Zero. And he's like, whoa, look at that. And then the crew is talking about it, saying that, like, they have it, but no one can pilot it. It doesn't let anybody pilot it. gee, I wonder who could ever possibly tame such a beast?

Because don't forget, there's always a giant robots and sentient somehow.

And you get inside them in the.

Face.

And then they find Bit and they yell at him. And the note that they took is this is all incoherent to me, so I don't know what they I guess they just yelled at him for being there, and then they tie him up, and then they're, like, reprimanding him, and then he's like, can I have something to eat? And then they give him something to eat, and then he's eating it with his feet, because even though they're being nice and letting him eat, they don't untie him to eat.

Well, I noticed when they initially tie him up, he has ropes around his entire torso, from his arms down to his waist. And then when it cuts back to any other shot, there's, like, three ropes around just, like, his upper arms.

He could very easily get out of that, I'm sure.

Yeah, if he didn't want to animate a whole bunch.

I mean, he's able to eat with his feet. I'm sure he could untie it with his feet.

And then lena is, like, mad at him that they're being nice to him. And then Bit asks about the ligr Zero, and she's like, it's so temperamental, no one can pilot it. And then she tosses him a blanket, and he's like, can I be untied maybe? And she's like, no. And then she leaves, and he gazes up at the liger Zero because he's just sleeping in their Zoid garage, and it moves.

Okay.

What?

He's very excited about the zoe shut.

I love how much Dana hates this sucks.

Now you get how I feel every week.

Nothing happens in this episode. Nothing happens in any of these episodes.

They're like, hey, all that plot was resolved in the last series. You're just here to see robots fighting.

This is just the thunder dome.

Yeah, it works.

So it leans down and gives him a sniff, and it wants Bit to pilot it for some reason, and he just gets in and knows how to turn it on, of course. And then it runs off. And lena, they're like, watching it from security cameras, to which I'm like, aren't they all asleep? Weren't they going to bed? But then lena gets mad, and then Brad is just like, cool.

Thanks, Brad. Good enough.

And they're like, oh, whatever. No one could pilot it anyway. And now him and the liger Zero are gone. So deuces. And they just can't believe that they let it let him pilot it. And then it seems like the professor guy gets to thinking and then Bit we just get bit. He's just in the liger Zero as it's running, and he tells it to slow down, and then it does. And then the crew is discussing battle strategy, and it's time to battle. And then only two of the enemies show up, which is good, because our team, the blitz team, they only have two Zoids to fight with anyway, so then the fight starts, but they're getting attacked by another Zoid. A secret Zoid up on a cliff.

What?

Except it was the third guy they definitely knew about already.

Yeah, he was still there. And then they fight, and lena is struggling, of course. And then luckily, Bit shows up with liger Zero. This was the point where I was like, oh, bit. That's a name.

Wait, what?

I don't get I thought his name was vic this whole time, and then he said, I'm Bit Cloud, and I was like, what?

It's much stupider, okay?

So much worse.

Because it's like, oh, he has an anime name. Got you.

How could I not expect it?

You could brush it off. It was just like, dump future anime bullshit. But then there's just, like, Jamie and Brad. It's like, okay, so no, just him.

Okay, so he shows up, and then the judge, Droid, lets him join the fight, and Bit turns tail to go attack the secret Droid. Zoid. Fuck. And lena and Brad are like, what are you doing? And he's like, I saw this. Secret droid zoid fucked.

We're better than this.

He said droid once, and now I'm fucked. And then so he goes to attack it, and then the professor is like, how could he see this Zoid from 2 miles away? I'm like he fault. What?

It's a giant robot.

I don't know how either. It doesn't make sense.

What kind of skill is this? And then he takes it down easily. And then he also is like, I don't know how to control the weapons on this thing. And I'm like, Then how did you also, we hear repeatedly that it doesn't have weapons. What use is this thing?

I mean, it's still a giant robot cat.

Sometimes you just got to take it out around the town, take it for a spin, take a joy ride. I'm sorry. A zoe ride.

I only drive my zoe to church on Sundays.

And then there's more fighting. And then Bit is just like, all right, like, or Zero, you just do your own thing because I don't know what I'm doing, I guess. And then stuff happens, and they win. And then I took the note. What was the point? I guess because I have no fucking idea why they were fighting. Like, I don't know why they do this or how they get paid for it.

I think it's actually just a sport. Like, the judge rules who wins, and then they get their funds transferred to them by the council. Question mark.

Oh, my God. And then the professor asks Bit to stay on their team to pilot librar Zero. And that's episode one.

A work of true art, if I say so myself.

Hey, random kid. I know we just kind of kidnapped you, and I've only met you 20 hours ago, but do you want to abandon your entire life and join our crew?

Sure.

I'm sure you got nothing going on, right?

Yeah, you just have that shitty scrap. I also found out the big cloud is voiced by the guy who does India, so he's just stop. Standard anti protagonist voice, right? There.

No imagination needed here.

No.

So episode two, we start. The only intro we get is sort of the judge Droid explaining the rules of just yeah, they're just big robot animals and they fight in contests. Cool, thanks. It would be nice if we had, like, a song or something. You know, like every other anime, but no big rap songs.

Zoids.

They're here to stay.

LIGAR zero is choppering.

They're back.

They only come out for patrick's birthday.

Wow.

Now just imagine them being resurrected on the moon like rita repulsa from Power Rangers. I rise after 100 years. I don't know why that's where my mind went.

I don't know either. I am not familiar, but perfect.

Jesus Christ.

Can we watch Power Rangers sometime? Is that an anime? Enough.

We'll eventually run out of steam and get there. We see. They are later on testing out the liger Zero system. Sort of just being like, hey, what the fuck can it do? Because it never works for us. And basically, it can run super fast and has sharp claws. Great.

It's like a tiger.

Yeah. So everyone's like, this is super unimpressive. It's a piece of shit. It doesn't even have a gun on it. But leon's like, oh, wait, it'll show its true potential. Soon.

I would take a stab at this. I got a testament with this. Testament. That's not the word. Problem with the ligor Zero model that I had as a child. It should have had a gun on the tail. Don't know what they're talking about.

We're only in the second episode, baby.

I see that tail. There's something on it.

We'll get there. There's time. Let this little tiger grow.

It's like, 30ft tall.

So then we see an unrelated battle between a sniper Zoid and some worm Zoids. They're just burrowing underground. And the sniper Zoid wins. And everyone's like, she's an undefeated warrior. No one can get within a thousand feet of her. She's such a good sniper. Ha, ha. And then we see that this sniper named naomi is going into a restaurant thing. I love how in Zoids there's just desert for 1000 miles and then just a building that everyone seems to be yeah.

Maybe a random forest when it's relevant to the plot.

Yeah, when it's needed. So, yeah, in this plot device restaurant saloon we see her meet with two amateur Zoid pilots. They're like, We've never even driven as a Zoid, but we love you so much. You're such a legend. And she's like, I have plans for you two.

I love just in the background of this, like, cantina I'm? Sure. There's signs for, like, food and drinks or something. There's one sign that just says Ball in big life. I have no contact ball is life. ball's life.

That's all you need. It's just a reminder.

I will say that this naomi character is the only bitch I care about. She's a lesbian cowboy, and that's the only good shit about these three episodes.

Because it gets much worse from here. So, yeah, back at the base with the crew, they get lined up for their next fight, which is against the flugal team.

Aren't those the things from Spy Kids?

I think so.

Floop. flute. Flugalees.

Flugalees.

Floops. Flugees.

Purple flirp.

Yeah, got you.

Purple flirp. So close your lower.

So they are lined up and they are like, oh, this is this great sniper fighter who's usually only fighting alone. How did she get a team? And the rules of the fight are set that it's basically just a sniper battle where each Zoid can only fire six times, sort of ensuring that they're not just shooting willynilly. So it's a very precise fight that they're going into. So they're like, okay, since the only rule is based on having a gun, the gunless robot shall not be fighting in this. And of course, Bit is like, but why?

Come on.

So, yeah, the boy who's usually in the monitoring seat is being subbed in. His name is Jamie, and he has, like, a pterodactyl Zoid that can fly and will get up above the sniper, which is their main plan.

So if you're fighting a sniper who's good at shooting at things from long ranges, why would you put the only flying Zoid you have up in the sky? It's a very easy target.

So in the next scene, so Bit is scheming with Zero just trying to figure out a way to get into the fight, and goes to a scrap shop where he knows the shopkeeper and they're on friendly terms. So, of course he's like, I have no money. Can I just have a big gun? And he's like, sure thing. I trust you for some reason. So we're back at the restaurant. We see this guy come over and try to hit on the girls and be like, hey, baby, I'm blah, blah, blah. It doesn't matter what I say. I don't know why I'm putting so much effort into this. So naomi knocks them out, of course. And two other guys are like, oh, you're trying to start a fight, little lady? And then Bit walks in, just carrying scrap parts and just truly three stooges ladder, hits them over the head and accidentally knocks them out, not realizing it. So naomi is like, is this boy a master strategy man, or is he just an idiot? I can't tell. But I like your style, kid. My name's naomi flugel. And bit's like that. Sounds familiar. Can't place it.

Hello.

Nice to meet you. Goodbye.

He says, I'm Big Cloud. And she goes, ah, he's an idiot.

A true dumbass name. Got it. So we get a gun installation montage, where he sets up his big gun. Leon helps him out and he's like, hey, care if we share our back stories a little bit? Care to infode dump? So, Bits main goal in life is he's going to collect enough scrap and all that to build the Ultimate Zoid. But since he bonded with Zero, clearly the Ultimate Zoid, he's going to give up on his dream and try to just be a Zoid fighter.

I missed the dinosaur from the other Zoids.

Yeah, the little one that ran around, my good friend. Yeah.

He was the ultimate Zoid.

I mean, technically, he confused with them.

And did something I truly cannot remember.

Just remember his existence fondly, dino Boy.

But Leon hearing his backstory is like, that really resonates with me. So the next morning, they start their battle. They go over the plan. Jamie is like, off the battlefield and is going to launch in right before they start. So they have the element of surprise. But of course, naomi immediately is like, there's only two on the battlefield. You're going to spring a third one to surprise me? And they're like, oh, fuck you.

What?

No. But of course, before Jamie can get onto the battlefield, bit and LIGAR Zero are out there. And he quickly registers because Leon helps sabotage jamie's fly boy so he can't take off because he wants to see what bit can do in battle, which was the exact same thing that they did in the last episode.

Fine.

Yeah, fine. So they start the fight. They immediately immediately naomi climbs up to the top of a plateau to get the, like, height advantage. And Bit is like, I have the higher ground. Don't try it bit. I hate you.

Scream.

So, yeah, bit immediately just fires all six of his shots that he has because he's a big, dumb piece of shit and is like, liger hates having this gun. It's so heavy. Let's get rid of this thing. I conned my friend into giving to me for free and just shoots it onto the ground. Just yates it off his back. So everyone goes and hides in the woods. So they're out of the line of sniper fire. lena gets knocked out early, and Brad takes out the other two girls that are helping because they don't know what they're doing. They get shot immediately. But just in being distracted, Brad gets shot and is knocked out.

They got the Star Wars rule of gunfighting, where it's one hit, one kill, no matter the weapon, no matter where you're hit. And you immediately are useless unless you're a stormtrooper.

Then you can't hit anybody. Just charges the plateau. Just zigzagging trying to be a hard target and serpentine. naomi is like, you fucking idiot. I'll take you out now. You fired all your shots. But as she takes a step, all the Bits gunfire destabilize the plateau. And it collapses and she starts to fall. So she's falling and tries to get one last shot off on a bit, but he jumps over it and takes her out and wins. So she's like, ah. Is he truly an idiot, or is he just a master mathematician and knew I would collapse it under my weight?

He's an idiot.

Yeah, no, he's definitely an idiot. So they win, and back at the base, leon's like, Ha. Well, he's better than me. And he talked about traveling the world and living a life by you.

I'm out.

And just decides to leave the team for now.

I'm super injured and I'm leaving.

I have a broken arm. Now is a better time than I need to explore a dangerous world. With robots fighting all the time, there's.

Only enough room for one protagonist in this anime. I'm out of here.

Looks like my star power is done here.

Someone else has stupider hair than me.

Oh, no one will have stupider hair than you. That's episode two.

I think my absolutely favorite thing in Zoyd's, not just this episode, but then throughout the whole series, is like, when it was charging at her, going to attack her after he dodged a bullet, we get a fucking reaction shot of the raptor Zoid season, and it's just.

Like just like, mouse agape. Like, I am big robot man.

It's a robot. What a reaction is there.

Ouch.

Because only sometimes when they're in their mechs, like, talking to each other, their Zoids will mouth along with them. But only sometimes, and even just, like, partial sentences. So it's like, okay, you get the point. We don't want to spend the money to fully animate this. Yeah, you get it.

Yeah, this show. All right, back to the four X three resolution glory of muffled audio that just screams vhs tapes. So, episode three opens up with a triceratops Zoid just murdering a bunch of raptor Zoids in a room, and it's being piloted by the absolute supreme fuck boy that is I have to even get his name here. I don't think we have his name.

Harry champ.

Harry champ?

Are you kidding me? He says his name approximately 30 million times in this episode. How did you not get it?

No, I got it. I wasn't sure we got it here if it was later.

We absolutely did.

Okay. And he's got a picture of lena in his Zoid pilot space, so he looks like Mr. sinister from the X Men, but much doucheer, if that's possible.

I have to look up Mr. sinister.

Yeah, I'll take your word for it, champ.

Imagine ziggy stardust but gothas fuck.

You mean my boyfriend?

He's stylish as shit.

I love this guy.

Oh, yeah. He's glam as hell. That's why Harry champ pales in comparison to the fabulousness that is Mr. sinister.

Yes, no comparison.

If we got anything good out of this episode is that Dana now knows who Mr. sinister is, so he's testing out his triceratop Zoid. Meanwhile, the blitz team is fighting another match. And they're yelling about their teamwork because lena is going to get somebody. And then Bit flies in, kill steals like a shitty teammate he is, and he only does that one move he knows. And they do this thing where they got clash in the air with the other Zoid and they fall and they do that samurai thing where they both land and then the guy turns around and then falls over and dies. Except they're giant clunky ass robots and it looks a lot dumber. And then we get back to Harry Champ, who I think was he up on the mountain range watching them. And he's like just stalking elena now. And he introduces himself in his head to himself again. He's Harry Champ and he's going to be the king of what?

Stuff we don't know of Zoidlandia.

And he's got the pure Zoid bloodline running through his veins. I feel like they just got the actor to record this one line and for some reason they just used it to fill any dead air they couldn't fill with because he says this exact line like four or five times in this episode. And then we see Wayne is mad at Bit for Kill stealing. And because it's a sport, they get points on who they attack and stuff.

Like individual hasn't been established until now.

Never established, never solidified. We never see point talent explained.

Yeah, it's weird. And then while she's yelling at him, harry Champ flies in and starts yelling at Bit because he thinks he's making a move on his girl, who isn't? But he thinks it is because he's sad. And lena sees this, it's like, oh, here's Harry. I know him from they never have style. Stalking me, I guess.

And she went on one tinder tee five years ago, wrote my phone number.

Into the bathroom stall. He called me once and we never met again. And she starts playing into his delusion and leaning into it of like, oh yeah, Bits my boyfriend, we're dating now, trying to just rile up Harry for some reason. This is the episode where I was like, oh, lena's shitty. She's just a shitty person.

Everyone's shitty in this episode.

Don't you say that up, Brad.

I'm sorry. Brad did nothing wrong.

And then back at harry's place, he just has this fucking collection of Zoids just all lined up in the walls and we see like a shield ligger, and we see like a gorilla one, and just a whole bunch of them. She said, oh, he's rich. Have we reinforced that enough? He's rich in a terrible fashion sense. And he's got two, like, butler robots named Sebastian and fuck, I forget the other, I think Benjamin. Benjamin, that's right, benjamin and Sebastian. And they're kind of just shitting on them too, despite being robots programmed to obey them.

We are programmed for sass.

Oh, Benjamin. And Sebastian tells him to be.

But.

My note just says sebastian tells him to be a real chad and beat the shit out a bit.

That's good.

Establish your dominance. This is a kid's show. This was our target audience.

Yeah. We're influencing young minds and teaching him good morals. So he decides he's going to challenge Bit in an avoid battle because he's Harry champ and he's destined to be king again. And at this point, I started thinking this might just be a form of future tourette. This guy has I don't know if he actually has to say it this many times. While they're working out, we got Brad and Bit just like, pumping some iron, getting real swollen. And Brad tells him, like, hey, watch her for Harry. He's actually pretty decent and just stupid rich, so he can afford the best stuff. And then we see lena and Jamie playing this weird three dimensional Zoid chest shogi game. They got little Zoid figurines and they're talking about the fight they're about to have. And lena is all excited because she's got two guys fighting over her. Even though it's just one stalker and an idiot, she instigated into the fight.

A stalker and a new guy that I hate. I want their approval so bad.

But like, she I understand why harry's obsessed with her because he's insane. But then she's also insane because she starts believing this. I'm like, oh, I can't believe two guys are fighting over me. They're not. Harry is. Bits is hitting it. That's it.

Don't give a shit.

They don't give a fuck. But like, she's convinced herself now that two guys are fighting for her love, and I don't know where that came from. And she loses the game they're playing. So as it is her shitty tradition, she knocks the game over. He goes, oops, it broke. So great. Love these characters. So good. Meanwhile, the Doctor is literally just playing with toys. He's also got tiny figurines of toys and just, like, playing with him, like doing like, dinosaur battles with them. So even the adults a child.

This is the one thing I remember from this show, is that the professor loves flying robots and always tries to throw them in.

It's a weird character trait, but it's probably kind of cute. It's probably the most redeeming. Yeah. So then we get just more dialogue and Bit just reinforcing. Like, yeah, he just wants to fight. And brad's like, oh, come on. Aren't you worried about lena? He's like, what? Why would I be? He's like, that's the stakes of the battle hoops. He's like, the winner gets to decide what happens with her because she's an object. And Bits just like, oh, is that what's happening? I have not been paying attention to anything anyone's been saying. And it's just like, same Bit, big same.

I don't remember any of this happening.

He literally just wants to fight Zoids. That's all he cares about.

Oh, my God.

Uhoh, did you find the rule of 34 Zoids no, I'm trying no, but.

I'm looking out and I'm trying to get this backing off of this sticker and I just realized it has one of those things in it where you can fold it and the back comes off really easily.

That's what you get for not looking up. zoe's, rule 34 while you zone out.

Dana'S having a rough time. This is a rough I just want.

To put this papyrus sticker on my microphone.

Well, man, all the Rule 34 stuff is about the people and not the Zoids.

Disgusting cowards.

Let me see some gear grinding up in that business. Anyway, sorry to interrupt that urgent attention. The battlefield gets set up. The Judge flies down, just cracks another crater into the planet's surface, which I feel like there's a lot better ways to get a robot down for five minutes and then to shoot the robot back up. You don't need to just bombard the planet with capsules. So the battlefield is in an abandoned city, so they're just going to be running around in a city shooting at each other. It's a blind battle, so you can't see around corners and shit. And harry's got his two Butler robots fighting with him. He's in the triceratops, they're in the snake and lizard Zoids that are here also. And Lane discussion about the guys fighting over again, even though no one cares about that. And no one mentions that lena is gone because no one genuinely gives a shit about him.

I just want to play good riddens. He grew up with us, but that's fine.

I think he's the doctor's son and lena's brother and just sounds thin. Just absolutely no mention of like, hey, remember that main character? I was here, that's gone now. No. So the fight starts, everyone's running around this band of city. The Doctor is still playing with his toys, not really paying attention. lena takes cover and nearly shoots Brad because they're running around, they see someone approaching on their radar and they turn the corner and it's like, oh, it's my ally. So it's like, oh, careful around the buildings. We'll see how that plays out later. wink. And we see Harry flanks bit. He just burst through the wall like the kool Aid man and starts chasing after Bit. And this continues for the rest of the episode. And harry's bragging about his darkhorn. wink.

Speaking of dark horn natural voids mech porn.

Send it to me.

I knew it had to exist somewhere. The internet's depraved enough.

It's just two mac 69.

Can we change out the COVID art this week? Just for that?

We'll get banned on everything.

Good. Finally. So, yeah, harry's bragging about his darkhorn and he's so rich, he got all these custom attachments to it, so it's got just like a rail cannon and a Gaddling gun and thrusters on the side so he can Tokyo drift like a badass. I just wrote down the quote. You have a lot of money, I hear. And your dark horn shows it fanfiction right itself. And everyone else is still fighting the robots. And Bit leads Harry down into like a dead end and they're like, oh, no, he's at a dead end. What's going to happen? They blow through the buildings again like they've been doing this whole up. There was no a dead end when you have a giant robot with guns. And lena finally does something and actually defeats a robot for once. The first time in the three episodes we've seen her fight. And at the same time, Brad defeats his opponent because they're just dumb robots and Zoids. And oh, lena sees Brad like, about to finish off his opponent, I guess, and get the final kill shot, question mark. So she just unloads like all 30 of her cannons on them so she can kill steel like a petty bitch. The same thing Bit did earlier in the episode, but now she's doing it.

To she hates so much.

Yeah.

Wow.

She's doing it to someone else for no reason. And we finally see Bit finally gets a hit as he turns. What's happening? What are my notes anyway?

I couldn't tell you.

Harry keeps chasing bit. They keep just turning left over and over and over and over again. And it's all part of bitt's plan because he's wearing out the rotors in the dark horn's legs and eventually the dark horn just falls over on itself. I guess that's what happens when you have a lot of money and buy top tier Zoids as opposed to this shitty junkyard cat. So the triceratop Zoid literally just falls over because it's so top heavy and shoots off all of his weapons so he can't fight anymore. And as he's about to do the killing blow again did you find it?

Do you advise you send it to me in a text?

It's on my phone now because I had to put it on my phone.

To send it to you.

Oh, my God. Where are there yeah, it's a cloaca.

Okay, I see.

Yeah.

How does this make any sense?

It doesn't. They're just fleshy underneath.

They just have fleshy organic vagina.

Oh, no, that's not the point of mech. Porn.

I hate yeah, you could easily make a robot dick, but no, you went for fleshy vagina. God.

Can that be the title of this?

Absolutely not.

We will be banned for my itunes.

With this image and that title.

Yeah, this image will be our title.

Our title is just going to be a url link in a way.

A qr code.

Yeah. Follow this qr code to see something you'll never get out of your mind.

Are we there yet? First arg.

Guys, it's robot porn. Yeah. So ben's about to finish off Harry, and lena flies in and shoots them both. And she kills deals again. This way, when the match is over, she has all the points for defeating the opponents and she's bragging about and all happy and no one else is because she sucks. But then again, so does everyone else. That's it.

Good.

That's episode three.

I want you both to know what my brain has sounded like for the last like 30 minutes. Here we go.

Okay, here we go.

This has been it.

Some jk slider covers it's. isabelle, I am sorry.

Yeah, I've completely checked out going through my mind.

I mean, you got Zoid porn.

Now I got Zoid porn and I was just sitting here hearing that in my head.

A truly hellish existence you've experienced the last hour.

Anyway, we watched zoey's new Saturday for dugan's birthday.

You're safe for another calendar year, but after that, oh God, we'll see what happens then.

I mean, just be aware, the president.

He said oh, I'm fully aware. I've accepted my fate to watch digimon at least once a year.

Now I'm doing Ultimate Muscle. Now I'm bringing xeno back. We had fun with that.

See, that would be fun. You can't torture me with that. That's why I thought you were going ditchimon.

Okay, you know what say about Morkejo?

No.

I genuinely enjoy kjo. It's a very funny set. Anyway, are we there yet? dude. Would you continue watching zoid new century zero?

Honestly, I thought this was more palatable than the last show because it gets rid of all the preamble of yeah, we know it's not a show. We're going to give you the mech fighting garbage that you're here for. This is just anime junk food for my baby brain and it's perfect.

Oh, sorry, I thought you meant you liked it better than the last show. Meaning? Africa. Salary, man. The last show we recorded.

Sorry.

No, not the last voice.

Well, yes, but more than the last voice as well.

Okay, I can understand that. It's just that check your mind at the door. We're watching dumb anime shit like Saturday morning cartoons.

You know they're going to win at the end, but it's fine because the monsters change.

But I specifically remember Brad not winning one time because his command will zoid gets broken down forever. But then he gets the shade, then he gets the Shadow Fox Zoid.

Oh man.

Wow.

Yeah, then there's like an elephant one and like raptor one with all this gear and stuff. I remember surprising amount.

Elephant Zoid.

It's big and perfect news.

I can just google it.

Be careful.

Careful.

You don't want to see how people interpreted that trunk.

That trunk gets poisonous.

This is no fun.

What do you mean this is not fun? It's an elven.

Sod I wanted it to be rounder.

It's pointy. sods are the pointiest thing in existence.

Well, I don't like it. I'm tired.

Well, if there's an anime with a round elephant monster in it that you want us to watch, you can send your recommendations to us via email. Are we there yet@gmail.com? Or you can reach out to us on Twitter and Instagram. Are we there yet? On both. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Mr. Patrick dugan.

You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period weibo, and on Twitter at queen underscore weibo and queen underscore Weebu.

Art you can find me on Twitter at abts. Brendan, I promise I won't tweet about zoe's ever.

Oh, just leaving it there.

Cool. That's it.

Thank you to camille ruley for our artwork. And thank you to louie zong for a theme song stories off the album beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.

How to draw mech penis.

Where'S the zord porn?