I know I heard the sound of sucking over here somewhere.

Hello and welcome to our Beat fair exploration and education and anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.

I'm an anime expert, dana hollander.

And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime all consuming, eldridge, horror of.

Impossible hunger, man, it grows consumer subsides.

All knowing, all consuming.

I mean, honestly, I can identify as that as well with how much I eat.

Yeah.

Are you also bubble gum? Pink? Yes, I'm very pink.

I didn't have breakfast.

Very Irish. So yeah. And we're joined by a guest this week. You know them from the puny's podcast. We are here with rye Chase.

Hi, guys.

Welcome.

That's it. That's main interest free.

Now I'm waiting.

Give it time. Let it breathe.

You'll see, time and lawyers will not let us talk about anything else. So that's it for now.

Nda. Aren't they fine?

So you'll all see.

You'll see.

Months away from being famous.

We're waiting for the manifesto to be published.

Once the revolution starts.

You'll know, famous for something else. Another reason everyone will know. Scary energy for the subject matter of today's show.

Thank you for hanging out with us, rye. We're talking about some fun stuff today. We're dipping into a kingdom slightly adjacent to anime that's always baffling. But we're going to dip into the world of Nintendo.

Yay.

Because we're watching Kirby.

Got that curb boy. Everyone's favorite friend.

I love Kirby sound.

So squishy.

Insert joyous sound here.

Everyone's favorite for any greatest nemesis. And Smash brothers.

Non binary icon. Currently accurate pokemon reject. Possibly debatable defining features. Not definable enough. Well, there's jiggly puff.

Yeah.

Kirby is a first graders drawing of jigglypuff.

I got twirl. Eyes are a little too small.

As big as body.

That was the first transition. It was concept art for jigglypuff.

They said, we can work with this.

Go elsewhere, get an idea for a character. It's a circle. Now we need more. There's a face on it. Now we need a little more. There's arms and legs. Perfect. That's it.

But like, fully detailed arms and legs, right?

No.

How about just four ovals?

Can one wear shoes?

I saw a weird starfish on my way here to work, so I just drew that.

Right. We know these idiots history animus.

Oh, my God.

I call myself an idiot every episode.

The premise of the podcast, we are the experts.

Wow.

Anyway, but yeah, right. What is your history with anime? Is this something you watched growing up?

Where do you stand now as far as anime goes?

I would say mid to no early to late 2000s expert. And then there was a chunk of time where I did not have cable or much internet streaming capabilities, so fell off, was shoved off the wagon, didn't fall off. And now I'm getting back into it.

Guys, because I have both of those.

Things that I laughed.

Finally, I'm back to the status I was at before.

Former expert, like novice level 18 on the rise. I'm a level 18 novice gun.

A relapsed expert.

Get back into the fold.

And since we're doing our four kids athan this month, were there any four kids shows that made that line up? Any yugios. Any Pokemon shaman.

Kid.

So what had happened was thank you. Please continue to list these things because I can't remember what was four kids and what wasn't. But Saturday morning cartoons.

Wb.

That was my am I allowed to say bad words on this?

Yes.

Oh, absolutely.

That was my shit, guys. yugio. freaking I did watch shaman King. I love shaman King. Kirby was that filler show between the episodes of things that I wanted to watch.

That's what the Saturday mornings are for. That's how you find new stuff. No, didn't.

No, it was okay. It was really okay. What was? digimon. Wasn't four kids, was it?

No, I don't believe it.

Might as well have been.

Yeah.

How dare you?

Same style. Not the company.

I loved digimon.

Yeah, finally.

I love burjimon. I just don't have a burning love for it like Brendan does.

No burning love. We are compatriots. But then after the card season, it was like, no. And then I watched one of the where they turned into digimon. That was the season I got back into it. And then no more.

Yeah, but alas wait real quick.

Back to four kids. Yeah.

You mentioned wb kids. That was different than four kids. But does anyone remember cubics?

I do remember cubs. I can't tell you what happened in cubics, but I did watch it.

And I do remember it was horrifyingly early cgi, and the kids were disgusting to look at. Anyway, that's not one we'll talk about on this show.

Cubics.

In the research for this, I thought there was at least one cubic series that was for kids.

There might have been internet.

Don't let me down.

I just know it was bonnie.

Wb rye's going to look up what the four kids shows are.

Yeah, I mostly remember four kids on Fox here.

Oh, and I know cubics robots for everyone was four kids.

Okay.

I know that one was Korean in origin, so technically not animal, not anime.

Get it the fuck out of here.

I watch brats. No, I didn't watch dinosaur King, but I knew about it.

Okay. Yeah, that one's watching.

Did watch kirby chad did watch mew mew power.

Yeah, it's the first one we did.

Did watch a little bit of one piece. Loved shaman King. sonic X watched it. tmnt watched it. I think I saw ultraman, but I don't know, I might have seen Ultimate Muscle and hated myself for it.

Wings Club.

And then watched yugioh dual monsters, not capsule monsters. Because why?

That was sort of their swing in a mess. They're like, what if we sold more things to kids?

What about more money?

Have we tried all the money all right, well, let's get into it. Also since where? Also we have video game tie ins. I was never a Nintendo kid. I was a Sony boy from birth. So, yeah, I never grew up with Nintendo games, so it's such a big part of culture that I just completely missed. So where are you all with Nintendo stuff in general?

I'm a big Nintendo fan. I think the first console my family had was a Nintendo 64. I remember when we got a GameCube, it wasn't really for me, it was for my brothers. But we got a GameCube for Christmas one year, and my brothers lost their minds. But I was like, I didn't start appreciating video games until much later in my life. But I have fond memories of watching my brother Ben play Harvest Moon on the N 64. And I love, like, when stardu Valley came out, I was like, oh, shit, I can finally do this myself.

No, it's my time to shot.

I watch them play Kirby. I am a Kirby Maine in Smash.

But we'll talk after.

And then I stopped playing because I am so bad.

I'm not good at it. I just like, Kirby.

Kirby.

Strange smash button.

Yeah, that's my bold strategy, too.

I just pick Random on Smash, so I'm a piece of shit. No one likes fighting.

Oh, my God.

You live for chaos. I do more and more every day.

I have commitment issues so I can't make decisions, and I just love chaos.

Really?

I had ncc Four. I remember getting Kirby on the Game Boy advance. I want to say it was Kirby and dreamland. I remember getting it on Christmas and beating it that night. Like, I just powered through it. And Kirby 64 was awesome. And I would still say a very good game. Like, to this day, it holds up. So kirby's my boy. He's like a good pink son.

How about you, rye? Were you were you on the Nintendo train?

Kind of. I I didn't get my first video game system like mine until it was my 13th birthday and my mom got me the ps Two. I think that was what happened. But as far as early games, my brother had a sega, and we played sonic, but then midlife. Between those two times. I got a Game Boy advance.

Solid.

I did not play the kirby's, but I did play one of the Legend of zelda's, and that was my soul.

So you got some Nintendo passion.

Oh, yeah, that and golden sun. Like, I crushed that game a bajillion times. That was the first game I had ever completed because I, too, have commitment issues. It's one of the few games I've ever beaten, but, yeah, that's Nintendo extant.

Nice.

I don't have much.

Yeah, I did get a Game Boy Advance SP, but I tended to not get Nintendo games because I was like, I don't know any of these franchises, but I remember the first Nintendo game that I played and owned was Super Mario and luigi Superstarsega.

Ooh, nice.

Which is still so near and dear to my heart.

Good news. The studio that made those just closed. Yes.

It's a fun day for everyone.

Yeah.

All right. Peace.

On that sweet, sweet note, shall we dive into our queet queet sweet swervey boy?

Yes, queet swervby florb.

I'm ready to just hop on in.

I'm ready for that big stuff.

Okay, let's address right at the top. How many suck jokes are going to be into? We need to clear the air. We need to address it because there's so much suck.

There's a lot of suck. Kirby does a lot.

Kirby was trying to clear the air.

I also thought that rise in my brain. Is this a safe place? I think so.

But hey, so far, yeah.

So little pink boy or little pink creature's gonna suck a whole lot?

It does.

It's the whole gimmick.

It's the whole thing. All right, now that that's out of.

The way pressed, it moved on.

All right, episode one, we open on a field of sheep. That's what happened.

Nothing bad will happen here.

And I have to tell you guys my notes are bad.

If it makes you feel better, there's not a ton of plot. It is curvy after.

No, I didn't think so. Okay, so there's sheep. And then over the hill, a giant octopus monster comes up and it scoops them all up and eats them. And then there's a villager guy that comes out of his house and he's like, whoa. And he gets all the sheep skeletons spit at him, which is pretty gruesome.

That's fucked up.

Yeah, that's super fucked immediately for this kid show.

And then he watches octopus fly back to the castle. And then it's the opening, which is delightful, delightful song.

Super jazzy. Super like kid friendly jazz.

Yeah.

Get the maximum pink curvy.

Kirby.

Kirby. That name. He says no. Curvy.

Kirby Kirby.

He's the star of the show. Is the wag fantastic opening.

Yeah.

It's prime for kids of yeah, let's make it vaguely like old school American. Yeah, we can pull that off.

And it's also like the first glimpse we have at the weird 3d animation in this show. Which is bad.

Selective animation. Yeah.

Selective character animation.

Yeah. This comes up a lot because only some characters are rendered in three D and only sometime.

So I think it's like king dvd and escard goo. Always Kirby. Most of the time.

Always, though.

Oh no, you're right. Yeah. Not always.

No one always is.

Yeah, it's an enigma.

It's terrible. So after the opening, we get Kirby and he's sleeping in his spaceship shaped like a star. Warp star. It's a warp star. And then it decides to warp somewhere where at this point, unclear. And then the villagers all go to the castle with in like a mob because they're like, hey, we saw the monster fly here. And we know that King Ddd is a no good penguin man.

He is our evil lord.

Evil Lord. King Ddd.

We are all serfs under him. Apparently.

Usually when mobs go to castles, things change for the better, but they change.

Yeah, they were describing the monster to Escargu, and I thought this was so funny. They're like, oh, it's big and it eats everything in sight. And then Escargoo is like, that's just king Ddd. All you thought also King Ddd.

I.

Want to address this. I thought it was S cargoon. I also thought that is it confirmed?

Gu.

I think they call him that to be mean, but I think it's Escargoo. I'll keep calling him S cargoon.

How many of us are looking at.

He'S also a big old snail.

Big old snailman. I just got s cargoon.

According to the first thing that popped up on Google.

All right. I just kept calling him snail man.

Yeah. Snail man works.

Yeah, I called him douche.

But.

So they're talking about the monster, and then King Ddd is right there eating his dinner. And he's like, you're talking about this guy? And he points to a squid in a fish tank. And they're like, yeah, that is what it looked like. And he's pretty much like, eyes just a little baby squid. Nothing to worry about. And it's like, well.

There are eyewitnesses and you are evil.

Yeah, I like how quickly they are. Just like, it's got to be King Ddd. He's a piece of shit. And just immediately accuse him of summoning a monitor. Like, yeah, this is what he does.

How come there hasn't been a coup yet? They're all hidden from the throne.

The workers don't know that they have power through organization. Anyway, it's a whole my rally after the episode.

And then I forgot 3% of the population. Anyway, I forgot to mention the Royal Advisor family. But there's a little girl named tiff, which is I hate that. And she's suspicious. And she goes over to the little fish tank and like, has a stare down with the squid.

A solid 8 seconds of just her staring at the like, why is this?

She's not making any kind of intense face either. She's just like, staring at it open mouthed. And then the villagers go to their olmec of Legends of the Hidden.

Dean Bradley Baker.

Yeah. And they're like, Please help us. Its name is kaboo.

Kaboo.

And they tell kaboo what's going on? And kaboo is like, yes, King ddd that piece of shit. Don't worry.

Legends foretold that the Penguin Man sucks ass.

But don't worry. The Star Warrior will come and save you all. Its name is Kirby. And then tiff is like, oh, Star Warrior must be a handsome, princely type. And boy is he.

She is correct.

She is right. And then King Ddd is like, watching all of this. The show is really silly. He's just sitting in his war vehicle with s cargoon.

They're just like his tank dune buggy.

They just actively watch the villagers talk shit about King Ddd all the time and they just don't care. Which I guess is one way to live your life, I can't tell.

Destroying his self esteem or it's so strong that he's bulletproof.

I feel like he might be bullet. He's just like, whatever, I'm a piece of shit.

They are actively calling a space warrior to overthrow me. I don't care.

Culturally, I think it's a compliment for his people.

And then they approach after all of it happens. And essentially they're like, what a bunch of hooey. No Star warriors going to help you. But not so because a ship crashes onto the planet and it's shaped like yeah. And they go to see what it is. And it's Kirby. Surprise. Comes out of the ship. Sweet little pink boy curvy. Sweet little baby boy. And tiff is disappointed because why, though? It's not what you expected, but he's not what you expected. But there's nothing wrong with him.

I mean, look at the shape of every villager. You know tiff, that's about what you can expect. That's what you know humanity as that's weird blobby thing.

Yeah. Where did you get this idea of this human man prince?

Yeah. All the villagers are so unmemorable that they all look the same. And the only ones that actually look different or have any importance to look different. But for anyone who hasn't seen, they basically look like an old ghost costume. Like a sheet over their head with an eye. Like the eyes poked down. That's it.

Some of them have mustaches.

Yes.

The chief of police and like the mayor.

Chief bookham.

Chief bookm.

Oh gosh, the name so good.

So then King Ddd rolls up and he's like, what the hell is this thing? bye. And he just pops him with his mallet into a trench. I'm trying to say that less I'm making an effort to say people yeeted.

Things less you got us saying it. This is your curse to bear, man. Yes.

I learned it from watching yield.

And so he falls into the trench. And then tiff and her brother tuff, they just go down there and fall. Alan Folalo, who don't want much. They're just all of them.

Navy like fairies from like ocarina.

I was going to say, hey listen. But so they do just go in the trench canyon. It's deep. It's very deep. I didn't know what to call it.

A chasm. A chasm reveal.

An earth hole.

How many other trench like words do we now hit?

Crevass.

Buck. Crack.

No.

Big old hole in the ground.

Okay, so turns out Kirby landed on a ledge. So he's chill. He's also super indestructible. As we'll see in the episode. Nothing can hurt Kirby. Well words. He gets so sad.

He does not have bulletproof self esteem.

But why not? Look at him. Yes, so he has not a ledge. He's fine. And then tiff is like leaning over the canyon to see where Kirby is and she falls. And then Kirby uses flying powers to suck up some air and then fly over and then save her. yay balloon. Yeah. And then oh gee. King Ddd comes back. They're out of the canyon. They get out of the canyon. That's what happens. And then they like introduce themselves to Kirby. And then King Ddd comes and he hits Kirby again, pushes him off the hill and down into a farm of water. malones as you do as there is in a village. And then they lose him. And then the kids throw watermelons in their faces. And then King dee dee is like, we're going to get him. And then S Kargoon is like, wait sire. And he like whispers something in his ear. And then King Ddd is like you're right. There's more than one way to skin a Kirby. And then they leave. He's nothing but skin.

Nothing but skin.

Which is why it's so disturbing.

Kirby'S been here for five minutes and Ddd has been nothing but like I'm going to murder this asshole. He's so hot and heavy for murder.

Interloper.

Well done. Yes. So after that they have a welcome dinner for Kirby. There's all this food on the table. Someone proposes a toast like the the mayor or something. Yeah. How is there a mayor and a king that doesn't seem anyway he's more.

Of a dictator, but yeah, yeah.

I was going to say I bet he's probably not even like a ruler of any kind. He probably just came and built his castle and he was like, I'm the ruler of you MOOCs now.

Pretty much. It seems like that.

Yeah.

No crown, no king.

Yeah.

He just has like a winter beanie. As penguins are wanting to do.

Because he needs to stay warm, I guess.

That's nothing.

They love being warm.

Which is why anyway, so after the toast, Kirby, classic Kirby. He just sucks up all the food inhales it all.

Who could have seen this coming?

How funny. And then they all kind of yell at him and they're just like and then he leaves.

Fuck all. You all.

I thought he was going to go to the kitchen and cook something. Because that's the thing Kirby cooks. He doesn't have a thumbs. You're right. How does he hold anything? He just got some Kirby.

There's like microscopic tentacles that kind of just suction onto stuff and he just covered his whole body in them.

Cannon.

Kirby is an el guitar.

You do not want to see a closeup of Kirby.

Yeah.

Girls hands.

Yeah, same thing.

He just runs off and then tiffan tough follow him because that's their thing. And then they find more sheep skeletons and they're like, oh, maybe you are the monster. Kirby.

He has no alibi because he's been in space. Doesn't count.

I just got here. Of course, I don't have an alibi.

I don't even know what this is.

All I can say is poyo.

Poyo. And then they run into a shed, and then they're followed by some knights with British accents. Sword And Played we talk about the accents in these shows. These British ones, these are something. These are pretty silly. And King Ddd has the Brooklyn kind of accent. But why does meta knight sound like that?

The Spanish Meta knights.

I just don't even get the guitar.

But when he arrives, I love it. I don't know who made that choice, but bravo.

But it's Spanish. The language accent. It's not Spain. It's not Mexico. It's just general. It's lowercase s spanish.

Porzoro. That's what it is.

Exotic swordsman accent in typical four kids.

Fashion, they needed to copy a popular celebrity around this time. So Antonio banderas will do negotia montoya.

He actually doesn't attack Kirby. He sees Kirby and he's like, I understand. There's a lot of leaving. And then they follow him outside and he's, like, on their side, kind of. It's unclear.

He's a meta knight with no country.

And then there's an explosion at the castle, and Kirby runs toward it, just alone. Just Kirby.

He craves. Chaos.

Poyo. And he runs. And it is then shown that King Ddd and Snail Man are working on kirby's ship. It's weird, because they're saying what happens later in the show. They're saying they're fixing it so he can leave, but okay.

Anyway, it'd be a lot easier if they just murdered him.

Sure. But also, they've made it clear here they wanted to leave. And then King Ddd finds a little box that looks like an engagement ring box.

And there's I thought the same thing. Please make it me.

I know. I was going to say, God, I wish that were me. But it has a tiny little star inside. And then King dee dee is like, I'm going to take this. And he takes it shiny.

And then birds like shiny things.

That's true. Like the penguin and the pebble. Yeah, that was a nice rock. So then Kirby gets there and Snail man's like, hi, Kirby. We're not doing anything. And then kirby's just like, again, poyo and runs into the castle. And then King dvd calls Nightmare Enterprises, the Internet company, even though it's, like, fully not the Internet, because he calls someone every time.

He skypes in. So it is technically the Internet.

I suppose so, sure. So he complains to the man with the sunglasses about how tiny his monster is, and so he, like, doesn't even know what it's been up to.

Is that what they're calling it.

For fanfiction?

Don't talk about my Ddd and bowser. Fan fiction.

There's already an octopus. Guys. There's tentacles.

We're halfway there. Tentacles.

Ddd he doesn't even realize that his monster is the monster doing the stuff. I guess he just thinks it's some other thing. And the man is like, all right, just chill out, let it do its thing, and you'll see it'll be of great use to you.

Only human.

And he's evil. Excellent. It's weird, because while I'm watching, I don't even think about these things. I'm just like, yeah, that's a human man. All right, so, yes. And then King dee dee, he decides to stare at the squid. And the squid is like, it's a little bigger, and it's like, chilling on the outside of the tank. And it possesses King Ddd. And then Kirby comes in, and King Ddd chases him with his mallet whilst possessed. But I'm thinking that's what he was doing anyway.

Not really factor in.

Oh, no, he's possessed. It's like he's done literally nothing but try to murder Kirby since he's mad. I'm like, this isn't.

So that's going on. The monster gets real big and starts to destroy the castle because it's inside. So its tentacles are going outside, and it's just rubble falling everywhere. And it's then that fight ensues. I did not write down the details of this part of the fight, but Kirby somehow gets weak and he turns green. This is the only time we see him get weak in all three episodes. And then tiff finds the Warp Star. And who tells her that that's the source of kirby's power? How would they know? Meta Knight. Okay, that makes sense then.

All right, metonite is just here to exposition down.

Just send in Meta Knight to explain what's happening.

So tiff is like, Kirby, I have your Warp Star. And he's like, oh, great. And then he just gets up, sees the star.

Instant power.

Yeah, it's not even like a beam of light hits Kirby or anything. Like, he just sees it like, oh, fuck, yeah, there it is.

Now I remember. I love that star.

My favorite.

And then he gets chased out by all of the little tiny baby squids that were there. And it's time to inhale. He arrives on some ledge and he just sucks big. Suck all of the baby squids. He eats them all. yum.

Delicious calamari. Great.

Yeah. And then they're like, wow, what is that? And then meta knights. Like, that's his biggest thing he inhales.

Well, he says the thing he did in front of your entire village at that dinner the other night.

He says it's kirby's classic defense inhales. What do you mean, classic?

Classic.

You just met him.

And then big octopus monster fires small fiery octopuses. And Kirby also sucks those up because that's what he's got.

That's his only move.

And then because they were all fiery, he becomes Fire Kirby.

Of course, they're no cool name poyo.

And then he grape balls of fire.

Sorry, I had to I'm sorry.

Forgive me. And then he hops on his Warp Star and he just blows fire on the squid until it explodes, and then also gets blown away.

So blowing fire on a fire breathing squid? Yeah, there's no resistance.

It just explodes and then rockets. What is it? Team rocket blasts off again.

I mean, if you threw stomach acid at me, it would hurt.

I'm not resistant to that.

An interesting argument.

I don't know. Let's experiment. Brendan, I need you to come over.

No problem.

No, I'm not.

Stomach acid.

Don't worry about it.

I got a lot of stomach acid. It's a very terrible medical condition.

How does one extract stomach?

Mostly bob.

Painfully.

The day is saved, thanks to kirk. Baby, baby. And then I don't know why. Oh, the mysterious sunglasses man at Nightmare Enterprises has been watching this, and he says, seems like he's a Star Warrior after all. And then there's a man. Well, a man, a figure in the background that laughs evally. I was hoping it was King K rool. It does not, because that's donkey Kong, right? King Kruule.

Yeah. And that's not anime, so we're not going to watch it.

Damn it. So after that, Kirby is he's getting ready to head out because his ship has been fixed by King Ddd and the Snailman. Supposedly.

Nothing bad can happen here.

Well, here's the thing.

Get into it.

So kirby's getting ready to go. This was also very funny. tiff says goodbye, and then she's like, I hate long goodbye, so just leave. And then he gets in and leaves. And then she runs after it, and she's like, no, wait. bye, Kirby. Wait. No goodbye. And I'm like, if you wanted him to leave, just let him go.

He crashed at night, and now it's like dawn. It's not even 12 hours.

You don't even know him. And then this is what's baffling to me. If they want Kirby to leave, why would the King dee dee and the Snailman then shoot his thing out of the sky?

King dee dee is a cinderella. He's negative.

Did they maybe think that would kill him? I guess they don't know that he's indestructible. But he is.

He is old god.

But now kirby's here to stay.

Yeah.

Like, what did you do that for if you wanted him to leave? And that's episode one. All right.

We'Re going to zoom through this next one because we are going long. Yeah, but we talk a lot about homelessness with his next one. Good message, I guess.

Speaking of, how did the castle get fixed? How much time passed?

Man did it all. He's very handy.

The wattle deeds. They're the spearman.

They have not been seen yet, but.

They were working anyway.

Episode Mr. All right, so next episode, we have King Ddd plotting in his castle, looking at a bunch of children playing games in a field. He's like, I'm going to do some murder. So we see Kirby and all the kids are playing jump rope. Kirby is very bad at it, but it starts to rain, and they all run back to their homes when they come to the terrible realization that, oh.

Yeah.

Kirby is homeless. Where does he live?

I watched subbed and Classic. Four kids. Not that episode. It's a different episode in the Sub.

Why did you watch it? Subbed.

It's almost like the whole thing we're doing this month is watching the dubs.

Listen, I want to see a Kirby. Sounded different in Japanese. I'm going to be real.

He didn't.

He does.

Well, then you get to hear about this.

Okay. The opening was much different in Japanese, though. I'll say that.

Is it shot?

Yes, it is. Anyway, I'll sit to the side this time.

Impossible.

Homeless turbine. Yeah.

So they're sort of asking around, trying to find who will take in this destructive monster. They talked to an old lady who's like, Hell no. This idiot. The first thing he did in the village was eat all of the food. So, no, I'm not allowing him in.

Fair.

They go to Chef kawasaki's restaurant. Didn't change that name. They're like, hey, can you stay with you? And he's like, okay, I'll put him to work. We'll make it happen.

Remember when he ate all the food? Restaurant.

Restaurant. Perfect.

So kirby's being a cute little waiter, but great. He's killing it until King Ddd and Escargoon come in. They go to the restaurant because, sure, they're villains, but they also interact with society sometimes, and they see Kirby working there, and they're like, Ha, ha. Rather than our usual plan of murder, let's try to get him fired. So they just sabotage him. They make him trip and spill all the food and break plates. And finally, Chef kawasaki is like, okay, we're done here. Get out, Kirby.

But it wasn't his fault.

So King Ddd and Escargoon plot with this bird guy named takori, I believe.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah. Little yellow bird accent again for no reason. But they recruit a bird man to sabotage Kirby as well. They go to the museum, and the bird knocks over a pot and makes it look like Kirby. They blow up a gas station that he was planning on staying at, even though there's so far only one vehicle we see, and it's King ddds.

It's a war machine.

Yeah, there's a gas station just for that, apparently. So finally, no one wants to take in Kirby. They decide that they're going to build him a tree house. And Ddd seeing this because his castle can see everywhere in the kingdom, is like, haha. Now it's time to order my next monster. Evil man, what you got for me? And he sends Blocky, a big sumo themed basically like swamp from Mario.

Yeah, it's got arms and legs.

It's just a big rock with a sumo diaper, and it wants to crush it's. The densest monster possible.

Let them smash.

Let me smash.

Let me smash.

Oh, gosh.

So they finish building the treehouse, and they have a party, and of course, Ddd rolls up, is like, hey, fuck you, and fires a tank round into the newly constructed treehouse and just destroys it.

How weird. He actually says that?

Yeah, in the show.

Get fucked in the show.

He rolls up and he says, Fuck you, four kids.

So they throw Blocky into the fight. Kirby tries to suck it up, but too dense, too big, too blocky can't fit all that rock in his mouth. I'm sorry.

Too big, too suck.

So they are fighting. kirby's thrown into tacori's bird tree bird house and destroys the tree. So now bird boy is homeless too. We see the heroes are hiding. They run to the cliff to escape and catch their breath and exposition.

Man.

Meta knight shows up. He's like, you got to use his strength against him. Ha ha. I'm helping you. Even though we now establish that I work for Ddd. Okay, cool.

My allegiance is shaky.

Many night answers.

Now, I'm a dog of the military.

So they practice sucking up rocks. Sure. Okay.

Yeah.

And the sound of them sucking, oh, God. It attracts King, dbd and blocky. So they get Blocky to the edge of a cliff, and the suck is just powerful enough to pull him over the cliff. And gravity tumbles him down to get eaten, dissolved, broken up by Kirby. I don't know what he actually does. He just gets close, and then Blocky turns into a bunch of small blocks.

Kirby is a god of destruction and chaos. Everything he touched, crumble, destroy. He's down to smash.

Tear down this block.

Mr. Gobachov.

So they keep fighting. Kirby turns into Rock Kirby. That classic. Down. Smash down.

B. I'm very familiar.

I comment Colin. They get to the edge of a cliff. They're both too heavy, and they break the cliff over the ocean. locky is way too dense and immediately just sinks. But kirby's like, ha ha. Fuck you. And turns back into a soft boy and swims back up to the surface.

Soft soy boy beta cook. What? Never mind. Don't worry about it.

It's fine.

Sam moving on anyway.

I've just never heard that string of words together.

You live a better life.

Yeah, for the best.

God bless.

So finally the fight is over. Blocky drowns, I guess. And they decide to build Kirby a house. Because, yeah, he's a hero. He's here to save you. Let's actually give him a place to live. But a birdman is like, Fuck you. This is my house. You can sleep in my tree outside. And Kirby takes a little nap in the house. And it's cute. And that's episode two rapid fire style.

Why were the kids responsible for this alien entity? It's the most responsibility in the town.

Yeah. The mayor and the police chief were like, shake my hand clean.

Not my ball, not my problem. Why were the townspeople so excited? Like, yay, kirby has a home. They treated him like shit.

They turned him away.

Finally, he'll stop asking to live with me. Our homeless hero yeah, because it's not.

Like Kirby is a secret. It's not like Et. Where the kids are hiding. I'm like, everyone knows he's there. It's a good point. Okay, episode three, one of the rare instances where the four kids arrangement of episodes actually makes more sense because I didn't know about kirby's whole house situation. So when episode three opens up with tacori in kirby's house and Kirby sleeping in a tree, I was like, what's happening? But it makes more sense now. tiff and tough. I'm just going to call them TNT because they go everywhere. And they go to kirby's house and they see them in the tree and they're just like, what the fuck, Kirby? And right at that moment, an old mailman comes up. He's like, I got mail for Kirby. Even though this house was just built last night. And it's a letter from the Spanish Lover metadata Romance saying he's challenging Kirby to a duel. So we get the opening again, which is fantastic. tacori goes around telling everyone there's a duel going on. So I guess he's just a town crier and a bird. And everyone's okay with that because they're like, we're like ghost people. kirby's a blob or king's, a penguin. Like whatever we're accepting. And TNT take Kirby to kapoo Canyon where their old elder god sits there's a giant wooden totem. And they're going there. That's where the duel is. And I guess they're trying to get there early to prep for it or something. But they also don't want him to duel Meta Knight. So I don't know why they went there when they couldn't literally anywhere else.

To avoid the dual thought.

Like it's super easy to not go somewhere. You just don't. And so they're they're talking about earlier how when they were in the kingdom, they followed Meta Night around when he went to talk with Ddd. And they find out that Ddd ordered Meta Knight to dual Kirby. And because he's the king, Meta Knight has to oblige because of knightly honor and all that. And he even calls when he's talking, medina Night even calls Ddd out saying like, yo, I know you're so many monsters. You're fucking shit up. dd's like, what? No. Even though he's very loudly proclaimed, like, my monster in front of you. I guess they're just cool with their leader. So many monsters to just wreck shit all the time. So Meta Knight appears in the canyon in front of Kirby and TNT and just start smacking them around. Just starts beating the shit out of Kirby and really just laying into him. Not like because Meta Knight has a sword, but because Kirby is indestructible. He can't puncture them or slash them. So he's just like slapping around like a stick. And Kirby tries to suck up Meta Knight, but he can't. And then Kirby can't suck up enemies who are too big or too heavy.

It's too dense for you, boy.

Too thin, too dummy.

Thin meta knight. No, we need you to explain stuff to us.

But then yeah, so Meta Knight says he can't suck up stuff over a certain size or weight. And tiff is like, well what about you? You're not that heavy. He's like, I got my own secret. It's. Like what?

I'm so heavy. Have you tried picking me up?

Yeah, just like, don't worry about it. Okay, I guess that's fine. Even though you just established what his capabilities were. Okay, so the fight keeps going on and we see dvd and Escargoon are watching from their tank from afar, keeping an eye on things. And because Kirby is just sucking shit in this fight, men and knight's like, fine, let's make it a fair duel. Sword Knight, which love the name, he tells Sword Knight to throw up his sword so Kirby can stand a chance. And he throws it.

Kirby, he laughed at this because he.

Just throws a sword and it lands in front of Kirby who picks it up. But Kirby doesn't suck it up and become Sword Kirby, who's good with a sword and got a little link hat, which would make sense. It's just Kirby still in his baby form, like struggling with holding anything. Just baby Kirby, his pure form. And Men and I just starts laying into him and just like fighting a moor now that he has his own weapon. And Ddd sees Kirby like being terrible with his sword and he's just like, oh, kirby's garbage with a sword. We'll just get a monster who's good with the sword. It's just a weird kind of logic where he's like, he's bad at this one thing. Let's get a monster that specializes in this one thing. Yeah, even if Kirby didn't have a sword, a sword monster would still be pretty tough. You could just take the sword away. It's not kirby's. While Meta knight's dueling with him at this point, it's more of like training than it is dueling. Because Midnight keeps telling him like, oh do this, got to do this, you got to do this, and clearly not trying to hurt Kirby. And then once Kirby starts getting hang of it, meta Knight jumps back and he's like, oh, let me show you. If I focus all of my power, which he has now, and channels it into the sword, he shoots out the sword beam that just cuts clean through the canyon like a goddamn Dragon Ball Z character. He's telling Kirby and it's like, you have to get to this point of being like, the only way you could stop me is by doing a sword beam. So he's just straight up training him at this point. And instead Kirby starts charging him his power and then just falls asleep, which big same, it's a mood. And metadata has like a weird trip. While Kirby is asleep, it gets all like space out and there's like sun behind Kirby and kirby's glowing and men and kind of like I had an epiphany or something. It's just like, what happened? So it's just like, MENNONITES got some woodstock like flashbacks. The acids come back. He goes to attack Kirby while he's asleep, and TNT are up on the close side like, I thought, Kirby is about to get slashed, and they just push a rock over on top of them. And Midnight sees that and pushes Kirby out of the way. But while the big dust cloud appears from the rock, TNT ron and grab Kirby and pull them away while Midnight is still looking for them. And then back at the castle, ddd there talking to Nightmare Enterprises, who are abbreviated as nme enemy wink.

Do you get it?

Children's show.

They're the bad guys.

They're bad. And he's summoned another monster that's got what it deserved. He's summoned the big old monster, and they're like, hey, we didn't get payment for those last two monsters. And dvd literally just like, fuck you. I'm not paying. It's like, okay, fine. Here's another monster. dvd doesn't even say, like, oh, I'll pay you for him. It's just like, just give me another one. And they oblige. So he sends them big beetle bugsy, which is just a big old beetle with a sword in a club, and that's all it takes. So someone's a big old beetle bugs you with a big old sword and mace, and it's just a bigger bug. He's just a big old bug. And that's when TNT over here at Midnight talking to a sword bros about trying to find Kirby, being like, we got to find them and teach him how to use a sword before ddt summons his big monster. So clearly solidifying. Like, yes, they were just training them before ddt could try and fight them. And TNT. Go to caboo and ask him about just Lord Dump. And kabu tells him all this stuff about enemies, this big asshole who just creates a bunch of monsters to rule the universe for some fucking reason. And one of them didn't obey him. One of them was like, fuck you. I'm not doing what you're telling me. And they're like, oh, that must be Kirby. And he's the reason he's, like, trying to save us all from him. It's like, sure, that's Kirby. wink. We'll believe that.

Yeah, the shape is clearly holding a sword, which is associated with one round boy that isn't Kirby.

But okay, sure, we'll go with Kirby.

This is actually an interesting story point.

Yeah, they're teased actual cool lore. There's, like, 100 episodes of this fucking show, so there's got to be some lore they got to fill up with something.

Like, kabu told them there's a great evil about to destroy the planet. The first episode, I shocked right now.

And they're like, oh, wow, KABOO, you're a big just sentient totem like, you sure do know a lot. Where do you find this stuff out? He's like, oh, meta knight. Told me. It's like so you're useless.

We couldn't just meta Knight tells me everything I know.

We need answers.

This is all second hand information.

Meta Knight just gets blasted drug and it goes into the forest. It just defense, all of his problems. Listen, you'll never believe what Sword Knight said to me today.

Dish girl.

I want bad episode. So TNT go running back trying to find Kirby and they go try to bring him back home. And while they're carrying about a canyon, bugsy and Ddd show up to wreck shit. And at the same time metadata shows up and what? Oh, my notes are weird. dd says like, we figured out kirby's weakness. He's bad with swords. So he summoned the sword monster and there's like, okay that's probably not true, but we'll let him have this one.

He could never eat a sword.

Yeah, that's ever happened already. And Kirby tries to suck up Bugsy but he can't because he's too big and heavy. And so tiff says like do it again, but this time aim for the sword. If he could have sucked up the sword the first time, he would have. That's how vacuums work. And this time when Kirby does it, mennonite throws either a sword or a rock at like bugsy's hand and knocks the sword out so Kirby can suck it up. And that's when we get Sword Kirby or Link Kirby. He's got a little hat, he looks like Link. And you get the crossover. And buggy is just like, oh cool. And some is just two big ass swords. Just makes him even bigger. And Kirby also makes his sword bigger.

Is it a claim or mouth?

I mean it's relative to kirby's size, so I can't tell. This sword could have been like a foot tall and Kirby is like two inches tall. I don't know. No one here is human so I have no scale of reference.

No, there's one dude, he has no hands.

Just ahead. He's an animatronic from Disney World. So yeah, Kirby makes his sword bigger, which is also a big innuendo with all this sucking and.

Pink flesh that.

Is in this episode.

Oh yeah, it is. It's awful. So Kirby starts fighting Bugsy, and after fighting for a bit, Kirby gets tired and falls asleep again because that's his thing. And then he just takes like a quick power nap, wakes back up and starts charging the sword beam and slashes it. It cuts right through Bugsy who then also explodes because they're a Power ranger villain. And then we just see a bunch of villagers evolve, are like, yeah, we watch the whole thing and it's like, oh cool. They're just here for death battles. I guess they love just watching people fight to the death.

We want to hunt someone die.

Yeah, I got money riding on this. And after he defeats Bugsy, ddd and S Cargoon go in their car and start driving away and medanine is just like, you're my king, and I'm supposed to obey you. But also and it just kicks their car back down the canyon and they fall back and crash. And then TNT confront metadata, being like, hey, you told KABOO everything, and you know a bunch about Kirby. How do you know all this stuff? And he's like, maybe I'll tell you one day. That's episode three.

Why doesn't king ddd fire TNT's family if they're causing him so much trouble?

In the sub episode I saw, they were like, oh, their dad is a cabinet minster. And I'm like, that's a very specific political position for a kid show where the king is a penguin. I was very surprised. They were like, oh, that's a weird role. But yeah, if they're just troublesome, kick them out.

You're the king. Do what you want.

Like to cute, more executable people.

Like, you're clearly not dealing with a cabinet because all your time is spent trying to murder our friend.

And he clearly spends all of his time trying to kill the only thing he can't kill. You could probably easily kill the villagers. They seem soft.

Where'S the fun in that?

I will murder more people until you leave. Negotiation, negotiation.

Diplomacy with the show just became infinitely more interesting. Every episode of villager dies until Kirby is defeated.

There's blood on your hands, Kirby. There's blood on your tiny, non exultant hands.

Blood on your nubs.

Now, my question is, looking at the bingo card, does Kirby technically count as a child and or a transfer student?

I think he is baby.

Kirby is baby.

He's a baby. Okay, he's a child.

So if we take the prolific dream from, like, KABOO and tip and info top episode or the beginning. We got Kirby as Baby So it's unrealistic expectations of a literal child. We got a transfer student because he's a star warrior on a new place.

For a sense that one I'm iffy.

On, he learns nothing this entire time.

He learns in that last episode.

But so if we want to get bingo or webo on this card, all we need is technically not incest, which technically a lot of stuff in this.

Show is not incestulation.

We don't know.

That box is a little vague because there are so many things that aren't incest.

All those villagers turtles not incest. Japan turtles banging each other, maybe incest.

Question, Martin.

Anyway, that's curvy right back at you.

Which I didn't realize that right back at you was when he would either use their powers against them or just blow stuff at them. Yeah, I figured it out.

You got it.

Kirby. Kirby. Kirby.

His name no. So, duga, are we there yet?

All right, so as we're doing the four kids a thon talking about if I would have watched this as a child, I don't know this. It's not my speed. It's not a character I grew up with since, honestly, probably my first introduction to Kirby was Smash Bros. In 6th grade. So he wasn't like a formative thing. So I don't think I would see this show randomly not know any of the characters and go, yeah, I'll keep watching. I think it is fairly dependent on the games for an introduction, I would say.

You know what's weird, though?

Kirby.

I love Kirby, but I much prefer Kirby without this. I don't want this context. I just want Kirby. Kirby position in Smash Ultimate where he's being like the big savior boy. And then I feel like in the games, there's not so much story. Like it's just like, here's Kirby and he's about to save the day. I like that. But with all of this weird.

Lore, I don't want Kirby plot to keep it big.

I'm so glad that he doesn't speak in this. I was really worried that Kirby would speak English.

There's a few times where he's cute, though. It's like a dog learning how to talk.

I was worried he would speak full sentences, which would be terrible.

What's?

That happened.

By the end of the series, he learns English and just has full on anime protagonist monologues.

But it's not jd.

I see you're trying to ruin this picnic. Might I stop you?

Suck you up. But it's four kids. So he randomly has an Australian accent for some reason.

Yes.

Good day. I'm good.

This is an Australian oh, no.

We're going to kick your ass right now. I'm trying to figure out how to say polyo in an Australian accent.

It translates very easily. Oh, god.

Dude.

It's really just it means dude.

Yeah. Well, it's a fun show, but not not worth continuing the other 97 episodes.

Yeah, that's too much. That's a lot already. Very little plot.

Yeah, it's just this a hundred more times.

But Meta knight teaches us so much.

This show is really about meta knight. He's really the main character.

There should be a spin off series where it's just Meta Knight talking in his Spanish accent, teaching us things.

It's like pays an accent, but with Meta Knight.

I'd watch that.

All right. Well, thank you, rai, for joining us on this adventure. Well, first off, because we keep messing this up, forgetting. So hey, gang, what's going on? Next week we have a big release, a big cultural event. Our best topical tie in with a four kids classic. This will close out our marathon. We're going to watch the og pokemon.

Yay.

We're going to meet up with Ash. We're going to eat some jelly doughnuts. It's all going to be great.

Going to hide from the rain in my drying pan.

It's bulbasaur in this one. Bulbasaur is my favorite.

Oh, god. What if Kirby stole Bulbasaur's power?

Oh, god.

That can happen.

He'd be very cute, can't it?

In Smash Bros. Maybe.

Yeah.

Anyway, he wears a hat. pokemon. He wears a hat that looks like them. Yeah.

Did he just find what, from the hat?

Maybe? Yeah, I think so.

All of his powers just come from the hat. Unless he's holding a weapon.

Kirby'S a streetwear god.

Style icon. Instagram influencer. Kirby.

Anyway, we've gone. Logging off.

Well, thank you, rai. Is there anywhere people can find you online? Anything you want to promote? Even though we're, like, a year away.

From stuff in a couple of months? Check me on Twitter. That's it.

What is your Twitter?

Voice of reason. But reason has a Y, like, after.

The R.

It's like rison. Do you get it.

Motherfucker? I pun my name too much. Guys, just don't fall down this rabbit hole. But thank you for having me on the Kirby episode.

I think you're welcome, but that has some aggression to it. I don't know if you like it.

I'm so nervous.

Oh, no. Strange inflection. That's all, guys.

If there's a show you would like us to watch, you can send us your recommendations to arewaver yet@gmail.com or reach out to us on Twitter and Instagram at areweevariat. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Mr. Patrick dugan.

You can find me on Instagram at queen. Period weebu and on twitter at queen underscore weebu and queen underscore weebu art.

You can find me on Twitter at abts. Brendan. It stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a video game podcast I do sometimes.

Thank you to camille ruley for our artwork. And thank you to Louis zong for the use of our theme songs stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.

Hoyo. hoyo.