AWTY 242 - Lousy with Bears (Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood)

Oh, that's me. Oh, hi. Hello. Welcome to. Are we there yet? We watch anime and learn about it. I'm Tess Dugan, the bad weave.

Hey, I'm Dee Hollander. I've seen anime de Hollander Gonzalez. Hold on. Dee Hollander Gonzalez. I'm married.

See?

We're all forgetting stuff. It's not just me.

Yeah, I needed to get that in there.

And I'm Brenna McCullough, your empty wood only child. See, I remember how I do my intro, even though mine changes every hee.

To be fair, you are the one who needs to plan ahead.

I think. I was writing it one time while talking to D called me. You write and I'm Brendan McCullum. Like, yeah, because if I don't, I will not say it. I have to write my whole name.

Gotta see it in front of you to remember your object. Permanence isn't great.

Oh, it's all going. It's all downhill. It's hitting hard.

Speaking of all downhill, how are y'all doing?

Hey.

Oh, it's been a minute.

It's been a hot second. And the world is bad. And my check engine light came on.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm supposed to drive from northern California to southern California for Thanksgiving this week, week of recording, so that stinks, but we'll figure it out.

That's where I'm at getting flashbacks. The last time you drove down and same thing happened.

That was last Christmas. It was the overheating TM.

Yeah.

Anyway, well, how are you guys?

Yeah, we took a break. I got married. Good thing. And then still, it was going to be a beacon of light, but it did not quite cut through the level of darkness of the world we're in. So now we're just vibing still.

We're riding the wave.

It's a rough go. I have a medical condition that's not getting any better, and I'm on the last ditch effort for medicine, so we'll see how it goes.

Is Brendan gonna pass?

God, I hope so.

No.

Oops. Different ends of the spectrum. Place your bets.

The finale is I die.

No, don't say that.

Yeah. Speaking of which, definitely just because of the medical condition advancing and not as well, me in particular, being defeated by the world. We got two more for you.

Yeah. Hey, besties.

Hey, bring it in, gang.

Bring it in.

Take a knee. We can't do it. The world. We said, let's take a break for testing it. Married. Oh, my God. So exciting. And then everything just kept happening. So we want to focus our energies.

Elsewhere I love every single time we've taken a break of any stint either. Just like, hey, holidays coming up. We're a little busy. We're skipping a week. Hey, some life stuff's happening. We're skipping like two weeks. Hey, we're taking like a month and a half off. We've consistently gotten worse every time we've come back. We've never gotten better on this podcast.

I sincerely fear that the day of our finale is the day world war three actually starts. So I'm scared that that will be where we're at. But hey, yeah, that's why talking about anime doesn't feel so good. Right, guys?

Well, hold on. Well, anime is my escapism. I'll always talk about it. But after 240 some episodes and test refusing to watch any show, I think we can all agree the experiment is done.

It depends. Paul and I had a lengthy conversation about ping pong again the other day. It depends for.

It'S.

We got a solid no. We got a solid yes. And then we got a good. Maybe we've hit the spectrum of anime watching.

Yeah.

Hey, I will say, because we won't cover it. I watched all of the Scott Pilgrim anime today and it is delightful.

Paul and I watched the first two episodes and I was like, what the fuck is happening? But in like a good way. Excited to watch the rest.

I haven't watched anything yet, but I have heard it's good. I am curious if that would qualify as anime because it's done by a japanese studio, but it's a canadian source material, so I wonder where that falls within the anime to Avatar. Last Airbender Spectrum.

It's a good question. I don't know.

Curious. We'll never figure it out because we're not touching that one.

We'll let people who want to think on it longer talk about that. It's not us.

We'll let people who still have some light in their life to discuss their hobies figure that out. Because it ain't us anymore.

Yeah. Anyone? If there's hope in your heart and light in your eyes, then God speed, take over the. I don't want to say we inspired you, because we certainly didn't, but furiated.

You enough to go, hey, I could do better than this. Which is fair.

Yeah. Actually, out of spite.

Hey, out of spite. Out of mind.

I was going to say f you to the audience, but no, that was too rude. Even as a bit. I'm sorry. I love you all.

I'll say, fuck them listeners. We ain't taking recommendations anymore. The show is ending. I don't care what you think anymore.

Dang.

I'm kidding. That's a joke. I never cared what you thought.

Oh, no, I guess I. Whatever. What are we doing today?

What are we doing besides just yelling at people who go out of their way to listen to us and enjoy our company?

He.

Well, it's time. There's, like, a couple big ones that even I, an idiot, know about.

A certified anime idiot.

Yeah, and one of them, because there's so many memes. Just the virality of these memes is unparalleled. We're watching full metal Alchemist brotherhood.

Full metal alchemist.

Full metal Alchemist? Yep, which is also a meme.

So have either of you watched this?

I remember catching late episodes of the original full Metal Alchemist series, I guess, on Adult swim, and I had no idea what was going on. And then I've definitely seen at least, like, the first ten episodes of brotherhood, maybe more. I genuinely don't remember, but I have seen portions of both series.

Oh, yes. I'm surprised by that. I feel like it wouldn't have been one. Well, you wouldn't choose now.

It's iconic.

It is. I don't like choosing a favorite with anything because I'm indecisive, but I would say full metal Alchemist is my favorite, easily favorite anime series of all time. I've watched the original. I've watched Brotherhood multiple times. I've watched the movies. I've played the games. I've read the manga.

Wow, I love it.

It's very good. And if anyone's got hot takes about what episodes we're watching or that we're watching Brotherhood instead of the original series, I don't care. I have my own opinions. And we've overruled them because we got an episode to do.

Brendan made that clear. He does not care what any of you think.

He's owning his role as the heel of the podcast.

Listen, we could talk. Like, do I got strong opinions about Rezero and Hunter and X Hunter? Yeah. Doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. I got opinions about brotherhood, and I will fight to the death about any of them for no reason.

Oh, no. He's starting to fight us to the death. We're going to watch the first three episodes.

Sat in the dog.

Ed, it's October 3. Hey, we're back.

Hey, that was.

Hey, I got them right? I got them all.

Nailed them both.

Well, that sucked, technically.

Sorry, dog, but that's all right.

We won't get over. Yeah, right up top, we're not watching the dog's episode. You're not going to have the emotional impact you would with brotherhood. We're just not doing it. Getting that out of the gate right away.

I've been on the Internet. I know it's a girl and a dog and a sick dad. Sick daddy. But hey, we're watching different parts of this show. One thing I wanted to ask Brendan offline has mentioned that he will be loremaster of this series, because I know I don't want to invoke the wars between the series, but it's my understanding that Brotherhood is kind of a condensed, at least in parts, version of the original. Is that fair?

So the original series started while the mango is still going, and then they caught up and had to make their own ending. Brotherhood started when the mango is finished, so it was able to be canon, but they were like, we don't want to spend 25 episodes retelling what the original series told. So Brotherhood said, we're going to condense this to about like eleven episodes of what the original series covered and we're going to just speed right through that. And then Brotherhood, like after episode eleven, goes down its own path.

Okay.

For people who are interested in the series and have the time, I do genuinely recommend watching both series because the original series covers the beginnings a lot more in depth and gives them a lot more time to grow. Whereas with brotherhood we see a little bit in these first three episodes, they kind of really rush. The pacing is pretty off because they assume you already watched the first series and they don't want to just waste your time. They want to get through it as quick as possible. So the pacing is pretty bad in these first few episodes, but brotherhood is overall canon and the better series.

Okay, thank you for that because I definitely was getting the feeling in these first few episodes of, wow, this certainly is like a multi episode arc that feels squeezed into an episode and a half.

Yes.

But, yeah, not that it hit poorly. It was just like, oh, that be. Oh, it's done. Okay, cool.

Yeah, I believe episode three of Brotherhood is maybe like five to six episodes in the original series. So it's great, real content.

Thank you for choosing the series. Okay, episode one. So there's discussion of the freezing Alchemist, a villain, a dastardly criminal out on the streets. And this discussion is between the.

Yeah, just call him Bradley.

Bradley from henceforth. And Commander Mustang are there discussing. They're like, oh, we got to get this guy off the streets. And, oh, we also got these two new hotshot detectives? Just kidding. They're alchemists. They're the Elrich brothers. They're Ed and Alphonse, and they're. But we boys.

They are children. But they'll get the job done, I promise.

I was over here in the corner, giggling at the thought of just calling the leader of your entire country. Hey, Brad. What's up? Brad?

Brad.

Hey, Lee, man.

Dabbing them up. Dab, dab, dab, dab.

I mean, much better than the alternative, so I'll take it.

His first name is also King, which.

I was going to say, I remember hearing King Bradley. I did not realize that was his name. I thought that was another title he had.

Is there a reason for it? Yes. Is it discussed way down the line? Yes. So not now.

Cool. Great. Then we don't have to go into detail. So, yeah, we get the freezing Alchemist going through alleyways. Ooh, the police corner him, but he's so skilled, he freezes them. And we see our two main boys, the brothers, bust through a wall and one giant suit of armor. The other, a boy, like you would expect from being a boy. And they capture him, but, oh, no. He escapes.

Oh, no.

So they go back to headquarters, the Alchemist base, or whatever, and they get in trouble because you're too much of a loose cannon.

Didn't read too immature, 14 year old.

Yeah.

Come on. Why aren't you an army man like me? So we get the briefing. This is the freezing Alchemist, Isaac McDougall, an ex government alchemist who joined a resistance movement, and whatever is rank Hughes comes in, and he's like, hey, I'm your military dad. You're coming home with me.

You can tell Isaac's evil because he's scottish. McDougall.

Yeah. Any name that sounds like that is evil.

Sounds like both of our names, not.

Just some guy from, like, your algebra two class.

So, yeah, takes the boys home, his loving wife cooks them dinner, and Alphonse, in the big ol armor says, oh, he can't take it off for dinner. What could this be?

Part of his training?

So then we see the freezing Alchemist breaks into prison. He's looking to team up with the Crimson Alchemist. A different guy. He's like, pass.

Again. Plays a bigger role later on, but it is really funny. Just like it's some fucking asshole in jail. It doesn't matter. In this first episode, we just need.

To establish other people have cool nicknames like that.

Yeah.

How great would it be to have, like, a personalized title for your job?

The dream to be respected.

I didn't say that far.

Let's be realistic.

So, yeah, back to the boys. Dinner reminded them of their mom's cooking, and they talk about how they want their old bodies back as Mr. Freeze is plotting against Bradley. And we see, I know this man. I know this interesting man from the Internet.

All might.

Yeah.

We have the strong arm Alchemist, Armstrong. He's a old school pugilist with his curly blonde mustache, and he confronts Mr. Freeze to distract him while the boys get his attention. He's drawing sigils all around the city to essentially put up big old ice barricades and trying to freeze out the town. So they question his strength, and they're like, oh, this alchemist has to have a philosopher's stone. That's how he's so strong. And, yeah, Armstrong's mission is to go erase one of the sigils to stop the spell. And the boys are going to hold them off. So as they're fighting, freeze knocks off Alphonse's helmet, and there's no head in there. Whoa. And, yeah, we see a small sigil and blood on the inside. So he's like, oh, I see. You're such good alchemists for being kids, because you done made devil deals, didn't you? You messed with the forbidden magic.

You done fucked up.

You thought you were so good you could break the rules and do human alchemy.

Hubris.

We also see Ed lost his arm and also is part metal. But very importantly, also to be very important to know on the Internet. The full metal one is not the full metal one. It's the full metal one.

I wish they named Edward the partial metal alchemist.

Part metal alchemist.

Part metal alchemist.

Semi right arm and left leg metal alchemist. It's real wordy.

So, yeah, they keep fighting. Then we see he uses his own blood to be water to freeze, and he's using that. He starts limping away, and he sees Bradley's in the alley.

Also. You calling him Mr. Freeze? I'm not going to say freezing central command was a good idea, but calling him Mr. Freeze really doesn't like, yeah, this guy's kind of goofy. He's a little silly.

Yeah.

I just also love the thought of John Wilkes Booth has this big old plan. He's running away, and then Lincoln is just standing there in the alley, just.

Ready to beat him up with a sword. Yeah, it's one of those, like, oh, he's the president. It's like, he's also, like, the highest ranking military person for a reason. He's just some old guy.

So, yeah, Bradley kills him, Armstrong breaks the sigil, and then, cool, they save the day. So they go back, and Bradley gave Commander Mustang credit for the capture. Ooh, interesting. Suspicious. I don't know. It doesn't come up.

Government.

Yeah. And then Armstrong goes to the young boy's room and strips for their recovery. Okay, episode two.

That helps any injury. Yeah.

I will say it's inconsequential to us, but I think it's funny that you were calling them sigils and spells, because I feel like if you said that to a character in the show that does alchemy, they'd be like, it's science.

It's science.

How dare you. Shut up.

Yeah, it's like, we've all seen owl house. There's sitch.

True. So, yes. Episode two, this is where we get, like, the little intro that's in every episode. Narrator explains that alchemy takes existing matter and makes it into something else. But it's got to be equivalent exchange. That's the whole thing in this show. Equivalent exchange. You can't make something out of nothing. Also, human transmutation is taboo.

Don't do it if you don't remember that. Don't worry. They say it every other line.

Yes. And then there's the opening, which is like the opening of all time. I'll never skip this opening.

Yeah, I've seen a few clips of I don't know how to pronounce the performer's name. You performing it, and you get chills because it is the entire arena singing along with him because everyone knows every word of it from the show.

I just love it. I think visually, it's really good. And the song is just so hype. If you're on YouTube making my top 50 anime openings of all time videos, and this isn't in there, you have no taste.

Just learn your history.

Yeah. So Edward and Alphonse are on a train to investigate a priest in a town called Lyor, who says he can alchemize out of thin air. And they're like, okay, he's got to be lying. It's got to be, like, sleight of hand or something.

That's not how science works here.

No.

I'd love to see him just doing sleight of hand. Is this your card wizard?

Your dead grandfather?

Yes, but he's still. Oh, you just dug him up.

Their weekend at burning him.

They didn't see the movie out here.

Don't ruin it for so. And then we get a flashback to a young Ed reading about philosopher's stones. There isn't much info on them, but in the present, that's what they're looking for. They're trying to amplify their alchemic powers to get their bodies back, and then even further in the past than that.

Flashback.

Their mom finds baby Al and Ed in their father's study, teaching themselves about alchemy. Ed drew a transmutation circle on the ground, and he makes a little bird from the wood in the floor. And their mom is really impressed and proud that they taught themselves that because their dad isn't around to teach them because he sucks.

Sucks.

But unfortunately, that summer, their mom passed away and time from an illness.

I feel like, here's the death run I've ever seen.

I feel like, at least in my knowledge of anime pop culture, this is like the original side ponytail. Your mom's going to die. Yes, that's the dead mom hairstyle.

Because the OG series, the series came after the manga series was like 2008 or something. So, yeah, this was pretty early on to kick off that trend.

Iconic.

Also, really quick, I want to just point out, I never realized how dumpy their childhood home is. It's all lopsided and squiggly. And I'm sure that's helped to paint, like, the rustic town that they're in. And it's a flashback, but it's hilarious to see now, in hindsight, goofy.

Yeah. So, yeah, they're sitting at their mom's grave in the cemetery. Al mentions their dad, and Ed gets upset because he didn't even show up for their mom's funeral. Truly a piece of garbage, man.

Two kids by 26 and Ted.

Ed wonders if they can bring their mom back with alchemy. Al reminds him that the books say that you shouldn't do that. And Ed is like, that's why we're going to keep it a secret. Then it's okay.

Don't narc to the book.

As long as God doesn't know.

Yes. Hide it from God's eyes.

I mean, that's the show. You just summed everything up right there.

Yeah.

Their friend Winwi. Their friend Winry comes to the cemetery and tells them, I don't even remember what she said. She, like, was trying to make them feel better and be like, don't cry. But Ed yells at her because she cries for her parents all the time. They're eating dinner with Winry and her grandma because that's where they live now. Ed won't drink his milk, and Grandma says that he'll stay short. And he does. I also hate milk. So relatable. The next day or something, Winri tells them that they have to pay more attention in class because they're reading a book that isn't class material. And she's like, what is that? And they say, it's a secret again. And they leave her to work on their secret taboo, alchemy. So very condensed. We get for years that they've worked hard and studied under, like, a regular alchemy teacher. Is her name Izumi?

Izumi Curtis. I love my beloved.

She's great. They study under Izumi and are secretly trying to bring their mom back. And they get really good at alchemy.

Yeah, we are, like, time skipping, like, five years in this two scene montage.

Yeah. I also, just to mention, because it is pretty iconic, there's an outtake of the english dub where winry yells, don't be late for dinner. Grandma's making stew tonight. And Alphonse's voice actor goes, fuck, yeah. Which is just great. And I said that while I was watching it, because I was like, it's that. That's canon.

I was like, already, episode one. So much culture.

I'm really taking it in.

I forgot while watching it. But that scene happened. I'm like, this is conjuring some memory, but not of this scene. What am I thinking of? And that's it. That's what I.

Something worse happened here.

Something just happened. So, yes, they're in their old house. Ed is listing out the ingredients that make up a human. Iconic again, iconic.

I have it on a shirt. Do you? No. Oh, a lot of text on a shirt.

I would have believed it.

I have much dumber shirts.

They draw a big old transmutation circle and put the ingredients in the center and drop some of their blood into it. Feels bad. Seems like a bad idea.

When has this ever backfired? Anytime in history.

So they put their hands to the circle, but something seems wrong.

I will say at least they are literal children and justified in their arrogance of, like, we're better than everyone in recorded history and not like, a full adult who's like, your ignorance is not excusable here.

Yeah. An eye opens in their transmutation circle. A big old eye. And Al starts getting dragged away and ripped apart by little hands, by digitized, oops, I'll miss you. And Ed loses his leg.

And then suddenly, the unknowable, comprehensive force. Really picking favorites there. You're fully dead. I'm going to take just a leg from you.

Though this was most of what I needed for this. But I need a little bit more.

A little bit.

Suddenly he's in a white void with a big door behind him, and there's a spooky, shadowy figure sitting in front of him. And he says, who are you? Where am I? And they say that they're the world or the universe or God or truth, or maybe all of it. The door opens and drags ed in, and he's screaming. And he falls into darkness and is shown all of the information for forever, anything that's ever existed. And he begs for it to stop. He thinks he sees his mom and he reaches out, but then all of a sudden, he's out of the door. And he says that he wasn't wrong about human transmutation. He was just missing something. So he says, let me see it again. But the figure says that that's all he gets to see for giving up his leg. And then he's back in their old house. He's screaming and crying. It's devastating. This is devastating.

This is a child we love. Watching children play with forces beyond comprehension.

In this house and paying the consequences.

I do truly love this series. It is truly one of my favorites. While you were recapping that experience, I was just thinking of Mickey Mouse saying, the door to darkness.

Did someone say the door to darkness?

It did ruin it a bit for me, and I did it to myself.

So he yells for help. He says, this isn't how it was supposed to happen. And then there's something in the middle of their transmutation circle. But it's not their mom. Or is it? It's not human.

Debatable.

It's icky, looks bad, and it dies right away.

If we want a spoiler for the OG series, this is a point that deviates from the OG series.

I'll say.

And brotherhood. So without spoiling too much, this is a point of content. Oh, yeah.

Whether it's their mom or not. Kinda interesting.

Yeah.

He yells for Al. He wants his brother back. He's all he has. He drags himself to the suit of armor and draws that symbol in it, begging for his brother back. He'll give anything. And then we're back in the present with Roy Mustang and Mays Hughes in central. Hughes gives Roy the file on Isaac McDougall, and there's some words in there, and neither of them know what it is. It was funny because I missed it, and Paul was sitting next to me, and he was like, they're just some random words. And I was like, I'm still going to rewind it, just in case. And then it truly was just like, a mess of letters in the subtitles.

And I was like, okay, yeah, it's alchemistry. It's alchemy in a different part of the world, basically.

Okay.

They just call it something else.

Got it? Yeah. So neither of them know what that is. Mays asks Roy how the Elrics are doing, and he asks why he made ed a state alchemist when he's still so young and that he'll have to go through hell. And Roy thinks to himself that those two have already been through hell back in the past. Roy sees their transmutation circle in their house with the blood in the middle, and he asks where they are. He goes to Winry's house. Winry and grandma, the Rockwells and rock bell, isn't it?

Rock bell, Bell?

Yeah, maybe I saw it wrong. I thought the sign said rockwell. No, yeah, the rock bell's house. And he bursts in and he grabs ed and asks what they made. Al just asks for forgiveness and keeps saying that he's sorry over and over again. They're traumatized.

Sawy.

I always feel poor sympathy for Al because it's like, I get that I'm a seven foot suit of armor. I am eleven years old.

I'm a baby boy.

I want to cry, but I don't have tear ducts anymore.

Yeah. So Roy sits with them and says that he didn't expect Ed to be such a talented alchemist at his age and that he should definitely be a state alchemist. Yes, child soldier. Yes. Please come join us.

Best option out of anything.

I know that you went through the most traumatic thing anybody in the world could possibly experience, but I really think you should join the military. And that's how it is. That's how military recruiters are.

God, we don't have therapy in this universe, but we do have child soldiers.

Yeah. Like, they're like, oh, it'll be rough, but you'll be able to research stuff that you can't access now and maybe even find a way to get your bodies back. And Winry's grandma is immediately like, no, absolutely not.

It'll be tough. But you know that bear you poked and ripped your arm and leg off and ate your brother? You can poke so many more bears in the military.

We have so many bears.

Just lousy with bears. Just. Also a dating app.

I wish. Lousy. Can't take that from us. Winrie brings the woman that's with Roy. Her name is Riza. Winri brings Riza some tea, and she asks her if she's ever shot anyone. Riza says yes, and Winri says she hates soldiers. She may be young, but she has the right opinion. Hey, we have one episode after this. I'm going hard. If you don't like me, if you wait.

Please don't tell me.

Please don't tell us if you don't like yourself.

I'm sinking my own ship. So, yeah, she hates soldiers. They took her parents and they died, and now they also want Ed and Al. But Riza is like, no, it's their choice. They have to choose to come with us, these children who were telling that they'll be able to do things that they can't do here and again. Roy emphasizes, even though the road will be tough, there's always the possibility that you'll learn how to get your bodies back, really driving it home, tempting them to join the military.

We also got super cool action figures.

Yeah.

You are twelve.

We have candy. You want a tootsie pop? The worst candy.

Apparently, the recipe has been the same ever since they made it back in the 18th century, so that makes sense.

Fascinating. Riza says that she became a soldier because there's someone she has to protect. And then she and Roy leave as they're walking down the road, she says that Ed had a dead look in his eyes, whereas Roy saw fire. Grandma is prepping Ed for getting his auto mail, the arm and the leg. And she says that the rehabilitation will take three years, but he's gonna do it in one because he wants to get his brother's body back.

I know it's the fantasy part of it. I know it's the protagonist is plucky enough to just break the laws of written medical history, but I would love to see where it's like, I'm going to do my rehabilitation in a third of the years. Everyone else, it's like, hey, you damaged your ligaments so much, it's going to take seven years now. Like, you fucked up.

Yeah. Also, you're 13 years old.

Yeah.

Flash forward, though. He's sparring with Al. He's doing great. He's got his arm and leg. He transmutes his automail arm into a blade without a circle. And Al is impressed, and Ed is kind of confused, and he says, you didn't see it, referring to the stuff behind the truth door, which is, again, extremely intriguing. Fascinating. Winry gets mad at him for transmuting the auto mail she made. They tease each other, whatever, back in central, but still in the past, Bradley meets Ed. He's here for his state alchemist test. He transmutes a blade, like, from the floor, and points it at Bradley, saying that he should be more careful how he conducts these tests, because anybody can get in there and do what he just did. But he's so fast with his sword. Oh, my God. He cut the blade in half, and he didn't even see him move. We see Winry and Al back at home. She asks if they're gonna leave if Ed becomes a state alchemist. And Al says yes. And Edward does pass. It's official. He's a dog of the military. The fullmetal alchemist. The title.

Take a drink every time they say fullmetalchemist, you'd be pretty fucking drunk by now.

And then back in the present. Present. Their train is almost to Leor, and Edward wonders if this is where they'll find a lead to get Al's body back. And I'm going to go for no. Since there's 61 more episodes.

Going to take a wild shot in the dark here? Probably not.

There's a super long fight on the train that lasts 15 episodes. It takes a minute.

This ending is also very good.

Fantastic, iconic. We joke, but Hunter X. Hunter's, like, chimera ant arc is. Half the entire series shows have done that. Episode three, I feel like this is the one that feels the most crushed. The pacing of this one, I feel, is the most off because it condenses so much to it. Yeah, the others were pretty good about it. Starts off, we get the same recap of what alchemy is, get the same opening, how it all works. Then it starts off with a priest giving a sermon over the radio in the town of L'Or. And the brothers are getting lunch at a little cafe nearby. As they're leaving, Al stands up and bumps his head on the roof, knocking the radio off, breaking it. And everyone's like, you broke my radio, guy. Come on. And Al's like, oh, don't worry. He draws a alchemy circle, is able to send energy through it, and repairs the radio. Brand new. Everyone's like, you can do miracles. Like Father Cornell at the church. The one who's giving the sermon, right? They go. They go to see what this is all about. Because people are saying they're touched by the sun God. Lido. Let's see who this Lido is.

Jared.

No God. No. God. No. Only slightly better. They introduce themselves to the townsfolk. We get the whole joke of the mix up of, like. But he's the big full metal alchemist, and you're the little one, and Ed gets mad.

It's funny every time.

I do love the series. That joke is constant. It is so much. Yeah.

I truly didn't know that. It was pointed out every time. I thought it truly was. The Internet's like, it's not Frankenstein's monster. The full metal one isn't actually the full metal. I didn't know. They say it in every episode.

It does stop at a certain point, but at least early on it is. I think every episode. They ask about the sermon, and the townsfolk say that Father Cornello is a local priest who came into town and has been performing miracles and even said to be able to resurrect the dead. So he's got quite a following pretty quickly. Someone using a religion as a false cover to profit for themselves. No, never. Brothers go to see him at the sermon, and he's got a huge crowd out front. And we see him clutch a flower petal out of the air and transforms it into this. I'm still not sure what it is. It's like a large crystal sash that he wears.

Sculpture. Fancy crystal sculpture.

Yeah, big crystal sculpture. But he transforms it out of a flower petal, so immediately breaking, like, three rules of alchemy of why that shouldn't be possible. And they're. Hmm. Something's going on there, and I think I got an idea. And we see Ed looking at his ring, which has a little red stone in it. So after the crowd disperses, they go inside, and they meet a lady inside praying at the altar of Leto. Her name is Rose. She's praying as a true believer. Hello, true believer. Sorry. And asks if she believes that Lido can bring back the dead. She says yes. He pulls out a little book and starts reading her the chemical makeup of a human body and says that this has been known for quite a while. All these ingredients are something a child could buy at a local market, and yet no one's been able to bring back someone from the dead. So it's impressive that despite all science's work throughout all of history, no one is able to do it. But this priest says that he can. Some real Reddit atheism spiel right here.

Truly, that's how I felt. Like, obviously, rose is in very deep, and she's, like, in a cult, essentially. But the way he goes about saying it, it's just like, come on, edge, lord. Welcome to my dark, twisted, mind ass, little guy.

Yeah, it's one of those, like, what you said wasn't wrong. But how you said, it's like, you don't have to be a cock about it.

That's not going to convince her.

No. So Ed talks about, recites a little story about there was a guy who made some wax wings and flew a little too close to the sun. So Greece is canon in this world. The story of Icarus exists also.

Lido. Lido is a greek goddess.

Yes, you're right. Yeah, I forgot about that. The idea of just like this whole world is fantasy and then just actual real world. Greece is just somewhere in an ocean and the same as we all know it. Ed asks if Father Cornello can redeem an arrogant scientist like himself. And she agrees to bring him back and meet the father upstairs. We see Father Cornell talking with one of his followers, saying, the Elric brothers are here. They're state alchemists. He's like, ah, shit. They're gonna interfere with my plans. We gotta stop. Get on down there and stop with the boys. So we go inside and we see the church officials escorting the brothers back into like, a dungeon out of nowhere. It's a weird juxtaposition with the rest of the church. And once they're inside, they close the doors and restrain the brothers. They pull out guns and they tell them they can't have them messing up their plan quickly enough. Both brothers are able to defeat the officials and knock them out and knock away their guns because they're highly trained combatants. And we see Father Cornell come out and apologizes for his followers. Says that his is the work of miracles blessed by the sun God, Lido. And that's why he's able to defy the alchemic laws that they know. Ed calls him out saying like, yeah, I don't believe you. And I think your ring is a philosopher's stone. And Carnella is very quick to. No. Why would you think that? That's not at all what it is. And Cornella tells Rose to pick up the gun that the officials dropped and to shoot Ed. If she is a true believer of Leto. He talks about how she's been loyal to them ever since she came to them after her fiance died. And he promised to bring her fiance back to life. Feel like he's dragging his feet a little bit if it's been so long. He said he could do that from day one.

Again, I was tired. I need a little bit of time.

The daylight savings really fucked up my sleep schedule. I'm sleepy. I gotta take a nap again. This is something else that's really dug in deeper in the original series and really skimmed up in brotherhood. So he's like, shoot the boys if you want your fiance back. And she's like, I can't do it. She raises the gun at Al, and once again, they are shocked. Ed is the real alchemist, not Al, because she points at Al, because she thinks he's the full metal. It's the joke.

It's the joke.

Whoa.

Ed talks, is able to talk Rose down, calming her down a bit, and says that Cornella is lying. She starts to lower the gun, but then hears a noise, gets startled and shoots. And we see Ed's head fly off. He's hollow. There's nothing in him. He's fine. What happens? They're freaked out that the body's empty. And Cornell uses this, saying that these are their punishment and mistakes for divine God. They were cursed with these horrible bodies. And he says, if Rose can't take care of you, maybe my chimera will, and releases an abomination that's like half lion, half lizard fish, and starts attacking the boys. We see the chimera is able to scratch through stone, and Cornello brags about his claws being sharp enough to cut through iron as it chews on Ed's arm. And Ed laughs and says, good thing my arm is made of steel.

Got him.

Got him. Basic metallurgy. Dumb monster.

In case you forgot, I'm an alchemist.

Even if his arm was iron. Yeah, he could have just changed it to any other metal. Cornell tells Rose that the brothers are being punished for being blasphemers, and then he turns his cane into a gaddling gun and starts shooting at them and her. Al quickly picks Rose up and protects her from the bullets while Ed. Yeah, he beats the chimera at this point. I didn't even write that down. Beats the chimera. And they both run out of the room, escaping the gunfire. Cornella sends the rest of the church followers after him, and surprisingly, they're all pretty heavily armed for being a church. And the brothers escape because they're church officials, they're not soldiers. They're easily knocked out. And the brothers escape with Rose. We see Al and Rose at the top of the church steeple, and we see Al taking down one of the bells and rigging something up to him. While talking to Rose, he talks about what happened to their bodies and how they were trying to get their mom back and trying to resurrect the dead just like she wants, and this is the price they paid for it. And he's really emphasizing that no one comes back from the dead, not even her fiance.

I don't know. I guess I've seen this part in the original series because I remember, doesn't Father Cornell, he's like, I'm going to take you to see your boyfriend. And he's like a bird chimera. And it's like gross and scary.

Yeah. So in the original series, Rose gets tempted and starts fluctuating in her doubt. So Father Cornella speeds up the promise he made to her and he's like, hey, instead of, I already brought your fiance back, here he is in this room and he's behind like a curtain and it's just like the silhouette. And he's saying, no, I don't think he's saying anything, but he's kind of like just stagnant and kind of weird. And then when they come back and Ed pulls back the curtain and yeah, he's like this weird parrot abomination person.

Yeah, I remember that. I remember that being like, not every short arc like this in an anime because it's not very long in the original either. No, it doesn't all have to be impactful like that. Clearly they thought it didn't matter in the movement from that to this, but it's impactful.

It's like, ooh, yeah. It's to say like both series, like the fiance was never coming back. It was just bait to trick Rose into believing. But it's like we're trying to get this done in one episode. We don't have to draw the weird parrot man. Yeah. So they speed it up. And he says, al says to Rose that they only wanted to fix their mistakes. That's what they're trying to do now. And Rose pleads to him, asking that or kind of begging to him that Father Cornello can't succeed where they failed more so trying to convince herself to Al. Meanwhile, Ed is inside Cornella's office, just lounging, waiting to confront him. When he comes back and he tells Cornella that, he's like, hey, you tell me what's really going on here because I know you're full of shit. And if you tell me the truth, I won't tell the military about the little cult you got growing here and I'll let you keep doing what you want. So Cornella gets arrogant, starts giving him his big villain monologue, telling him that he tricked all these followers into believing him because he can defy the laws of alchemy. Once he gets enough followers, they'll be loyal to him. He'll have an army. He'll start taking over the country bit by bit, and he'll be a king, basically. Ed is laughing. There's a. You dumb fucking idiot. You absolute buffoon. You moron, you galutinous oaf. And pulls out a switch that is connected to a giant megaphone that is the bell that Al is taking down and rigging up, that is broadcasting their conversation to the whole city.

Got him. Once more. Got him.

Got him.

Boom.

And Cornello is furious, obviously, because his whole plans were just ruined. And goes to turn his cane into a gaddling gun again, gattling gun again. Ed is able to dash up and cut him off because he won't let him do that a second time. So Cornell's gun's like, cut in half. He's like, I don't think you can get away from me this time. And goes to transforming the gun again. But the philosopher's stone rebounds. It backfires like we saw with the other guy. And the gun fuses with Cornella's hands, turning it into, like, a weird metal hodgepodge monstrosity. Gross it nasty. And he says he's the chosen one of Leto. He won't be defied. And he uses the stone again, and his whole body starts changing and getting bigger and hulking out, and he starts chasing down Ed, fighting, and he claims to be the fist of God himself. And Ed says, oh, you want to be God, eh? And uses the statue of Lido to, like, alchemy, bends the stone arm from the statue to punch, know, using the fist of God to stop the fist of. And that kind of, like, knocks him out. And he shrinks down. And Ed runs up to try and wrestle the ring go away from him. And as he does, we see the stone in the ring kind of dissolve and just evaporate like we did in the first episode. And it is very disheartened. It's a fake because the pure one wouldn't dissolve like that. And Cornella starts, like, begging for mercy. Without the stone, I can't even do regular alchemy. I'm just a little guy. Can I leave? It's like, get the hell out of here, because he's just pissed off. And outside we see the brothers discussing what happened, recapping each other, and Rose is there aiming the gun at him again, demanding that they give her the stone so she could bring her fiance back, because they just want to use it for themselves. But Rose also wants to use it for herself. She's not better. And Ed says, the stone's gone. And Rose starts breaking down again and asked what she can do now. Her only hope, her only reason for living, was believing in Father Cornell to bring back her fiance. And now that it's gone, she's got nothing left. And Ed says he doesn't have the answer for that and that she just has to move forward and make her own path. No one can know what she'll do but her. And that night we see the townsfolk understandably rioting and pissed off at Cornell, demanding that he pays for his crime and tricking them. Inside the church, we see Cornella stumbling, running up to his office, and he sees two people inside, a big titty lady and a big round man. That's all you need, the two genders, tits and ball. And we saw them also plotting in the previous episode, like, talking on the phone. And Cornell says, like, I'm not going out like this. I ain't a punk ass. But he is. And gets killed when the lady points her finger at him and her finger extends, piercing him through this brain, killing him. She says they'll have to rework their plan and they'll have to go back and talk to father about this and they'll have to figure out their next move. And the big round man goes up and says, can I eat him? And he starts eating Cornella's body.

Yay. Yay. A happy ending.

Everyone cheered.

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

We don't waste.

We all know my viewpoints about cannibalism. Very pro. That's episode three.

Yeah.

Are we brotherhood? Are we full metal, weeb?

Yeah. So I was liking this. It's definitely the style of quote unquote magic. The arcane quality to it is very similar to the name of the wind from Patrick Rothfuss. And I do just love that. Like, hey, no, it's science. It has to come from somewhere. If you're pulling a flame, it's from a candle. It's not from your soul wanting there to be fire.

So I love less airbender where the flame is pulled from your soul because you want fire.

Yeah, true. I just love when it's consistent.

Yeah, it's not this.

And then it's like, oh, no, I just need a fireball because I'm the good guy.

Oh, you mean like Hunter? Hunter. I'll stop.

But, yeah, I was having a good time. The pace of it, you definitely feel like they're okay, let's get through it. But it didn't feel like jarring or uncomfortably paced that I felt like I was missing stuff it felt condensed. Well, for a person new to the series, dense.

They do cover all their bases, but it's just like, it's dense for the first few episodes.

Yeah.

But yeah, I like it.

Nice. Yeah.

Surprised?

I mean, like I said, I've seen some of it before and it is an iconic, classic program. So I think if you enjoy anime. I don't remember if I said this during the break or in the beginning. Whatever. I think if you enjoy anime, you should at least try it, whether it's the original series or this one. Because it's famous for a reason. A lot of people like it for a reason. It's very interesting. Episode two, that part of the show. I'm glad that that's the one I took notes on because that's the part that's most interesting to me, is like, the weird God shit. So, yeah, I think it's just got a lot of cool elements and it's neat. And I love the boys. These poor, sad, traumatized boys.

Don't worry, they only get more traumatized.

Hey, it's an anime. I'd expect nothing less.

Yeah, there is some stuff where it's like, it's popular for a reason. It's like, I don't understand how, but this one, it's like it stands the test of time. Like, my hero. Academia is popular right now. It's not going to be a classic. I don't think that one's going to. It's struggling right now.

I was going to say, is it even popular anymore?

It's definitely not as popular as the ones was, that's for sure. But this one is still, like, people still like me talk fondly about like, yeah, I've watched it multiple times over my lifetime. It still holds up. It's still great. And one of my favorite things is we watched the creator's other series, Silver Spoon, which is a farming school. Like a high school farming show. Also fantastic. And like, the opposite end of the genre entirely. So she's able to cover a lot of stuff. And I can see so much of things I like based in this. This shaped so many of my interests and tastes in things similar to what Tess said. Like the explaining, inconsistent world building of the magic. Alchemy is magic in this. They say it's science, but it is like magic, but it is like an understanding rather than just like, I'm just a plucky young teenager and I just wanted it hard enough and I have magic powers. So there is work. There's a lot of research in the show. They have to study a lot. But, yeah, like I said, brotherhood, the beginning's real condensed. If you want the emotionally drawn out stuff, if you want to see Rose's journey with a bit more weight to it, that's in the original series. If you want to see Nina and the dog, that whole bit, that's in the original series, that's like one episode in brotherhood.

Yeah. It does not land the same way in brotherhood at all because it's like three or four episodes maybe in the original series. So you kind of spend more time with Nina and the dog. And so when it happens, you're, um, okay.

But also, it's been memed to death by the Internet. So I do wonder the emotional impact it still has for someone watching it for the first time.

And if you don't know what we're talking about, don't look it up. Watch it.

Just watch. Yeah, it's like episode 14 or 15 of the original series. It's not far in, so you can just get to it real fast. But, yeah, like I said, it's easily my favorite anime of all time. It's so good. And one of my favorite stories of all time because I think it's so consistently good throughout. I think it stays this level of quality throughout the entire series. And the OG series is like 30 episodes or something in a movie. The movie is fun. It gets a little weird, but it's fun. And the brotherhood is like 50 episodes. So even for as good as it is, it's a thing I've noticed with women manga artists, women mangaka, they don't overstay their welcome. They know when to end a story. My God, do I respect the fuck out of that.

Oh, yeah.

It's so appreciated.

Speaking of not overstaying our welcome. I'm sorry. An old segment. It's springing forth. What are we watching next week?

Oh, my God.

Well, because we actually know this time.

Hey, guys. Next week it's the finale. There's one we haven't done. We've been saving it for something, and this feels like it's about the right time. So we're going to watch Naruto season two. What?

We're going to watch Naruto.

Okay.

The first anime, the one that started it all.

Yeah.

My bones.

Well, we end this, we're not taking recommendations. Yeah. Hey, I'm on TikTok and Instagram at Tessables. Cool.

Yeah, I'm on TikTok and Instagram at Honey period D and on Tumblr at Honeyd. Honey is spelled H-U-N-N-I-E.

I'm primarily on twitch. If you watch the channels unsta or Barry, I moderate there. If you're from those communities and listening to this podcast, no, you ain't. Shut up.

Thank you to Camille ruley for our artwork, and thank you to Louis Zong for our theme song stories. You can find all of Louis'music at louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.

Full metal alchemist full metal alchemist.

Full metal alchemist.

That was a good.