AWTY 200 - Ballad of Love and Bimbos (Isle Kai Adventures)

Hello, and welcome to our weed. There yet an exploration and education. An anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.

Hi, I'm an anime expert, dee hollander.

And I'm brenna mccullough. Your anime profoundly confused.

Oh, we're all confused. How could it be? How could they make it to this checkpoint when they all hate this so much? We're at 200, baby.

I have fun with this.

I don't have another milestone.

We got the 69 and then 200. yep. Only milestone.

Nothing in between. Nothing before then, nothing after this. This is it.

This is this is crazy. I was thinking about it. We did the episode 100 stuff right before I moved, and then I recorded the dialogue for the trailer, like, right when we got here. And now we're doing episode 200 literally, like, a month and a half before I get married. Such big milestones for the podcast and my wife.

Crazy.

Yeah. It's so poetic when stuff like that happens. Truly every time I think about it. When I was moving out of my first La. Apartment. It was when taz balance finale was airing. So I was literally carrying boxes out of my apartment as the final stuff was happening and just, like, weeping on the stair like a box of sheets and pans.

Wow.

I have the memory of a goldfish and remember nothing.

Cool.

Well, hopefully this week will help you out since you don't really need to remember anything because it's episode 200. So we got to go big. We got to do something unique. It's been on our list for forever, and I think it is finally time that we tackle one of the greatest anime of all time, fraser naruto. Wait, sorry.

1 second.

Hook.

Hook.

Hello. Yes.

He'S being audited. Don't worry.

Yeah, we're all here right now.

I wish. You know what auditing is.

A year.

It's back. Okay. I feel like this would have come up before then. Okay. I'm not that type of host. Okay.

Did you find out I slash Styres again?

It's a little too strenuous right now. Is there, like, a quicker picker?

Upper sponsor probability. Okay.

All right, thank you. bye. Hey, so sorry. We can cut this out if we need to, but I just got a phone call. Are you all familiar with Weeb?

Weeb or weeb like weed.

I'm sorry. This is the Weeb Expertise Enforcement Bureau, also known as Weeb. They just called me and they said they didn't get your licenses.

No, we didn't found out.

We love pirate Radio here.

No. I've been so scared that this day would come.

Yeah, it's the podcast space. podcasts never get to episode 200, so it's like, sort of a thing where once you get to this point, it's like, okay, now you are if you're claiming to be anime experts, you have to have the certification and training and whatnot. So they gave me some options on how we can do it. I know we're like an episode so we can figure something out. Yeah, the first option is like, a manual exam, but it seems pretty extensive, and I would have to administer it. And to be honest, I got my booster and flu shot yesterday, so I'm not really feeling up to it, of course, but they did say there was an online option, if you're interested.

Well, let's do the online option, I.

Suppose, would be easier.

Yeah. For all of us.

And your share?

I think so.

Yeah.

I got my bags packed, though, because I was expecting this. I was expecting them to catch us eventually.

You're ready to flee jokes?

Are any of you listeners? We don't live in La ha. I'm in Nebraska.

I mean, you won't be for long. And you both black out.

Stop it.

You both open your eyes and you're laying in a field next to you. Next to each of you, you each have a manila envelope that just says, find the mayor in a path that leads out of this field.

Pretty. Patrick.

The mayor is it just it's just me and Brendan.

You look around and you can only see Brendan. And Brendan can only see you. But you do hear there is, like, civilization nearby.

Damn, we almost got out of it. We're almost free.

Then I guess we have to find the mayor. Right?

But which mayor? I tear open the manila envelope.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. If you care, open the packages that each of you have received prior to this recording.

Oh, my God.

It says no on it. I'm not allowed.

Mine says Keep closed until 200.

I actually can't open it.

I brought scissors in here just for the occasion.

I knew it.

Fucking knew it. James on it.

What? I'm confused.

Yeah. So you open up and you see a small book resembling a pack of plane cards. And please don't open the box quite yet, but as you the real people, you look through this book, and every page just says, Find the mayor.

I don't like getting involved in politics. That's why I love it.

We have to get our Weeb license, right?

I suppose so.

We better follow instructions. For once in our lives.

We play DND you know I can't do that.

It's almost like the only information you got about this whole scenario was play along. You already broke that.

Let's go.

All right. So you follow the small path. It takes you along a little wooded trail, and you start to hear some liveliness, some humanity coming out of this nature. And you start to see small cobbled buildings, just a very cute little idyllic village. And as you take a look around, it's pretty clear that you are on a small island that is inhabited by these people. Like, they are people, but they just seem a little bit too rudimentary. Just like, not fully developed, if that makes sense.

Sure. Brendan.

Sorry.

Yes, I think we've been isakyde.

I hate to say it, it's never good.

It's never good isekaide.

I mean, it was a matter of time.

I want to approach someone and ask them where the mayor is.

You approach someone and their only response is, sun's too hot out today.

I sure is. Can I try someone else?

Yes, you find someone else, and their only response is, sun's too hot today.

I think we have to take out the sun. I think that's our first objective.

But as you keep looking for people to talk to, you make your way to the center square of this town. And there are banners everywhere. There are colorful flags. It's clear this entire town is having some sort of celebration. And you see in the center of this small courtyard on a slightly elevated platform is just a very jolly looking man with one of those old timey mustaches that goes from like mustache to sideburns. And he has a big sash on.

Does the sash say Mayor?

It does.

I bet that's the mayor. The mustache gives it away.

Yeah, it's really the mustache that does it. Let's go talk to the mayor.

Howdy.

As you walk up to him, he turns to you and he says, oh, hello. Welcome, competitors. Welcome to the isle of kai. Are you here for the festivities?

I suppose we are, yes.

With a question mark.

Yeah. Can you tell us more about the festivity?

Wonderful. I'm so glad to have more competitors for this year. We are having our usual expertise festival, where we gather everyone to find out how much they know about the world around us. You could call it our Jack of All Trades Festival.

Hecky, so excited to compete in this festival with you.

For you, Mr. Mayor, on behalf of you. I see there's something in your inventory. Is that oh, it is. These are spell books. Spell books? Well, I see we have fierce competitors this year, and you can now take a look at your spell books. Yeah, I want to see. There is a theme to the spells in this card. The way this game works is our players have a deck of cards, and on each card their value. This is a game called grimoire punk. The value of each card is the strength of the spell, and there are certain words written on each card so you can combine them, and the words will influence the spell. And we'll work together to figure out how it manifests in this world.

Do you want us to organize them?

I did pre shuffle them. There are some cards facing the other way. These are like the Jack, king, and Queen. These will not be part of the game, so you can remove them.

Okay, I see.

Man, I wish I had lights on in my apartment. It's hard to raise these.

Oops.

All of the cards are usable?

Yes, all of the ones facing the same way. They would be the number cards and aces. Any jack, queen, or king should be not used.

Okay.

And I think the clubs aren't all that stuff, right? Clubs, yes.

If you'll recall, just upgrade the strength of a spell.

But yeah, if you flip through, I'll ask you to reshuffle before we get to the festivities. But can you notice any themes of the spells you have in front of you?

I'm fairly certain they all have words from the titles of anime we've watched.

One just says, your boy got me.

Now you are very close. I do want to make a slight distinction. Each of you has a spell book with words from the anime you have brought to are we there yet?

No one knows. They're all bad.

So this is a test of your anime expertise in this world with your specific choices over the past 199 episode.

Oh, my God.

I set myself up for failure here.

Looking through it, I can definitely I know what these are from. I think most of them, yes.

Some are just like, I took a keyword, like the way it works. Each suit is like a verb or a noun or an adjective. So I did have to get creative in some places, but for the most part, they all apply.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

God, I really made us watch a lot of shit then.

Well, now that you've familiarized yourselves with your spell books, are you ready for the competition? There are four challenges that you can use to test your knowledge. There are various stations around the town. You can explore and find them, but they're all pretty visible from here. There's not a whole lot of pixels in this map overview, so it's pretty condensed. Would you like to inspect the different areas you could visit?

Yes, please.

Sure. So taking a look around, you see first off, in the courtyard where you are, on the other side, there's a small clay court about tennis sized. And there's a young boy standing.

Okay.

Looking on the other side of the courtyard, up on a tall hill, there's a very spooky looking house. And even though it's sunny, like, the facade of this building keeps getting, like, lit up by lightning. On the other side of the courtyard, you see a dock along the coast and some seagulls circling overhead on a calm ocean breeze. And you also see a cute cafe and the smell of bread wafting out.

Wow.

I mean, haunted house, right?

Yeah. I was thinking, I think we heard.

That we both locked in on that and we're just like we know our choice.

We've spent too much time together. We're in sync, baby.

Over the garden wall. It's time.

The spooky season is upon us. Good luck, travelers. And then his idle animation resumes. And he just, like, paces back and forth, looks at a pocket watch, paces.

X looks at a pocket watch to be an npc for the charge existence.

So you make your way up to the spooky house. You walk up and you see there is another villager standing on the porch, seeming to be waiting for the next challenger to arrive.

Hello.

How do you do?

Hello. I'm here to test your ability to solve crime.

Crime?

Yes, crime.

Love a good crime.

Inside you will find the crime scene of what we call the grizzly gambler.

Interested?

We would like you to use your deduction skills to solve this murder. How did he manage to murder all of these people?

All right. Is there anything else, or do we just go inside now?

Little guy, do we need clubs? I'd go in with you, but I'm real scared of murder.

Of course.

It's a valid fear.

Let's go in.

Oh, boy. So you enter and you see there's a small living room. It's very bare bones. This is not a room for living. It's a room for dying. You see, there is a small table in the middle of the room with two chairs set up. And in the middle of the table are two pills and a bottle of water on a tray. And on the far side, you see above a door leading to where would normally be a kitchen if this wasn't a video game. It says interrogation room.

We got all of those.

Is there anybody around?

Not in this room.

Oh, okay. So this room just has the table and the chairs and the pills and the bottles?

Yeah.

Okay.

No bodies.

No bodies. Shall we go to the interrogation room and see what's up?

I was about to take a pill. Yeah, that makes more sense.

Yeah, probably. Not that there's been a murder.

Brendan, I thought we were just going to trip together and have a good bonding time.

So you make your way to the interrogation room and you see it's your standard police interrogation setup. Very grizzled. Older, middle aged man just sitting there, slumped, looking a little too proud of himself.

Wait, which side of the glass is he on? He's, like, in the room.

Oh, you are in the room with him. Don't worry. He is handcuffed to the table.

Okay. Yes, we just casually walk into a murder.

Hello. Are you who they call the grizzly gambler?

Yes, that's what they call me in all the papers. All right.

Nice to meet you. Do you have a real name that you'd prefer us to call you, or you like that?

You like the title?

No, I'm a bit of an eco maniac, as you could probably tell from how flamboyant all my murders are.

Oh, sure, of course.

Would you care for me to explain?

Yes.

Yeah, well, I like to play a sick little game with all of my victims. So I sit them down at the table with two pills and I tell them, hey, one of these pills totally harmless. It's just aspirin. Don't worry about it. But the other pill oh, boy. It is poison and it will kill you quickly. Now, I like to play a little game with all my victims and victims. There's been a lot. I say, hey, you pick the first pill, I'll take whatever pill you don't take, and if, well, one of us is going to die, but so far it's never been me.

Interesting.

Statistically confusing.

Yeah. But I've seen The Princess Bride.

I'm unfamiliar with that property.

Well, I'll ask you, would you happen to be what's the word?

Immune.

Immune to the poison in the pill. And you just live no matter what, and all the pills are poisoned?

Built up persistence.

Oh, no. Inside, the pill is just ground up peanuts. And I am severely allergic. I'm just messing with you. They're just regular poison pills.

But but half of them definitely, you know, some of them definitely aren't poisoned. So the game is fair, right?

Right.

You could say that.

Oh, man.

I know you're willing to kill people, but you're not a cheater. That's insane.

So, are there other rooms here or are these the only two rooms we can investigate?

These are the only two rooms. You can either investigate the crime scene or talk to the murderer.

Okay.

And when you think you have figured it out, just go out the front door and talk to the man on the porch.

Okay, well, we can use our spells, of course. Okay, let me shuffle these, boys.

Oh, boy.

Let me give those shuffle yeah. The rules. You can have three cards out, just the top three from your deck, but you can replenish in between. We're not in, like, combat, so basically, I'll let you replenish once you use them.

Okay.

Job. At.

Okay, I'm going to pick my free bias.

I was very tempted to just play clean freak and clean the crime scene. I don't think that would have helped us.

Okay, let's go out into the crime scene room. Brendan, first three cards, yeah?

Yes.

Okay. Are we allowed to say what our cards are, or should we only reveal them once we have an idea?

Since this is an audio medium, I'll say feel free to brainstorm out loud before you play cards because that will be more interesting.

20 minutes of us going. No.

One of my cards is diary. Presumably from future diary.

Oh, boy.

Which did involve a lot of murder, so that's a fun.

Killed something in me, that's for sure.

I love that show. It's terrible.

It's atrocious.

Oh, we can collaborate.

Combo.

I just remembered. Yes. We can stack spells or stack words.

Okay, I got bleach, so once again, we can clean the place. I don't think that helps.

Well, my my idea, right, is that I cast a spell that is, it reveals this might be finangling, but, hey.

We'Re here to be creative shenanigans.

Absolutely. everything's encouraged.

Yeah. I think there could be a spell that is like a diary of the room. So whether that comes to me in the form of a book and I read the events, say, of the past 2 hours, or if it is just like a visual thing of like seeing what happened, maybe okay, maybe it is a three. That is the value of the card in this game.

Different power levels have different effects. So a three would be considered a cantrip, a small spell that has a brief or subtle effect on the world. So I don't think that would be strong enough. But I do have an idea to help resolve this, if you're willing to go down this path.

I have a four of clubs, so I am able to boost it, boost it to another level.

Okay, cool. That would be a jinx and might affect a whole room. So yeah, that works.

Cool.

Brendan, anything you would like to add or are you good with that?

Just real quick on objective, we are trying to solve the murder and catch him in the act, not kill him. Right.

You are looking to figure out how he was able to have this, as you mentioned, very illogical, irrational ability to have this chance play in his favor so many times.

Because I got blockade and I was thinking about swallowing one of the pills and putting a blockade in my throat. So I swallow it and see what happens to him after he swallows it. But I feel like that doesn't get us to our goal.

See, this is also a fun experiment to see which one of us, me or Brendan, is more logical.

Not me, that's for sure. I also have lie. I don't know if that might be able to come into play with something, but oh, maybe.

But I think for now, maybe let's just diary these things. Yeah.

Okay. So a diary. Jinx of the room. So what you see are small like phantoms appearing. You see like a candle that was out before. You see the flame flickering, all ghostlike. This is definitely a vision into a past experience. You see him have a victim tied to the chair. And you see him putting out the things on the table in front of them. And just you don't hear audio, but you see him moving his mouth as he's explaining the rules of the game to his victim. So he puts down the pills just fine and very carefully puts down the water. And then the vision fades.

The water. I poke my head in the interrogation room.

Hello.

Hey, what's up?

Hey. So do you also drink the water or do you drink your own beverage.

When you take your pills? I learned how to dry swallow pills, baby.

That's what makes him a monster.

Swallow pills sometimes depends on the pill.

Impossible.

Thank you.

Grizzly gambler.

No problem.

Brendan, I think it's the water that's poisoned, not the pills. He doesn't drink the water.

Can I put bleach in the water? No, it's already poisoned. Yeah, no, you're right.

We're allowed to go talk to the little guy outside if we think we have it.

Yes.

Okay. You want to go talk to the little guy outside? You think that sounds good, Brendan?

Yeah, it's better than I got.

Okay. I poked my head out the front door.

This place should give me the creeps.

Hi, little man. how's it going?

This place should give me the creep.

I think he's going to lose.

Okay, I actually go outside. Hi. Hi. I think we've solved the case.

What?

Yeah.

We've been working on this case for years, and you were able to solve it in maybe ten minutes.

That's a genius.

What could it be?

Well, I believe that his method of murder is poison, and he takes pills with his victims, but I think it's the water that the victims drink that's poisoned and not the pills. Deleted.

Oh, you solved it. Well, your deduction skills are unparalleled.

I was really scared.

That was a bad deal. It's deep.

Well, no, I was scared this is going to take a long time because I'm not good at mystery.

I was going to put bleach in the water and drink it myself. You're doing better than me.

The spell is what really did it.

So you see him, seemingly out of nowhere, pull out a giant gold star and just holds it over his head for just, like, a millisecond too long, and then it disappears. But you see a little star on your lapel and or shirt, whatever clothing you're actually wear.

Yay. Both of us?

Yes. You each have 1 st. yay.

Brendan, we did it.

I contributed nothing.

I did it.

Yeah.

Well, time to go execute that guy. Take care, now.

Why?

He is a notorious serial killer. I mean, I feel like this was coming.

Yeah, that's true. Okay, we've done.

One was a tennis court tennis court.

Docket.

Cafe.

Yeah, tennis court. Clay court. A dock. And a cute cafe.

Oh, a dock. I think the dock seemed like really chill vibes.

Go from the scariest to the chilliest.

Yeah, sure. Why not? Let's go there.

Okay. You make your way to the docks, and you get some fresh sea air. You hear the squawking of birds above you, and you see just a very stereotypical fisherman standing down at the end of the dock argument. I am Old salty, the village fisherman here on the Isle of kai. But, oh, no. I need your help. I've lost me expertise. Well, I was out sailing, and I got hit by a pretty gnarly wave, and my head got bunked on the mast, and I completely forgot how to fish.

Oh, no.

Can you two, who have likely seen lots of anime where fishing is explained in detail, can you teach me some key details on how to fish? And please don't google it. That will ruin the fun.

We sure can, Mr.

It's old salty.

Old salty. I was going to call him Salt.

If you can teach me three true facts on how to catch a fish, oh, my God. I'll give you me star us yee star.

Three true facts about how to fish.

I will say I got them lie. I could just lie and say I know or want, depending on the power level. It scales to that. Can possibly one of them just get at least one?

I think that's fun. And I think because my spell was the thing that did it last time, you should have a turn.

I mean, you don't give someone a spellful. Can be like, don't use it all the time. I'm going to use it to get the drink from the kitchen so I don't have to stand up. I'll use it for anything. Yeah, I'll play my lie card, which I can't comprehend. What? Show it's from your lie.

I believe it was your lie in April. Oh, did I bring that?

Weird. Do I not get to use it now? No, but it is a power level of eight.

That would be another jinx. So it has a noticeable effect on the world, and it lasts up to an hour.

Wow. That's very nifty, because then we can fucking stack shit and I can use my cards to lie about other fish facts.

All right. So you're going to use it?

Yeah.

All right. You use your spell and yeah, whatever you say. You get the feeling he'll at least take it at face value.

You've heard of zone of truth? Now you're ready for zone of lies.

Clint.

Just kidding.

Yeah, I'll tell them fishing is easy. You just take this rock here. You'll find on the coastline. You just huck it in the water and try and knock out a fish, and it'll float right back up to you. Super easy.

I'm so sorry my hearing isn't what it used to be because I bonked my head and the audio may have disconnected. Could you please repeat that? No problem.

They're salty. Fishing is easy. Simple as throwing a rock. In fact, it's actually just throwing rocks. You pick up a rock, you throw it in the ocean, it knocks out a fish somewhere deep down there, and it flows back up to the top to you. Simple as that.

Wow. And fish are perfectly shaped where the rock rolls off, and it wouldn't pin it to the ground at all. That's a wonderful fishing tip. One down, two to go, please.

Shit.

We need real facts.

Well, it lasts an hour, doesn't it?

I mean, we got two more. Or can I just keep lying?

Yes, he seems unfazed and is thrilled to be talking to you, too.

Oh, wonderful. Lying is easy to me. I'll figure that out. Therapy one day. Great. Here we go. Fact number two. Or do you got 1d?

You could go again if you have another one in mind.

I do not. I'm making it up as I go. Thus the lie. The watch now, I mean, thus the lime. You get high? Yes, fish fishing lime, love limes. The acid and the lime actually cooks them to a bit of a degree before you even cook them yourselves. So it preemptively cooks them. But the trick is, fish also love that they love being all warm and cozy inside. It's like wearing a blanket in your tummy. So you just lay out a line of limes along the coast, and they'll actually crawl out of the ocean just to get a bite of those limes.

Wow.

Oh, my. That is much easier than what I've been doing. And it doesn't seem like the tide would wash limes away at all. So you could return at any time and just pick up your fish. What a wonderful tip. That's two down, one to go.

Fun fact, it's not really a tip. The ocean, the tide coming in, it's actually scared of lives. It avoids them entirely. Yeah. Let's see.

Let's see. I have one in mind, and I guess I can just say it because he's going to believe whatever we say.

It's an idiot. We got unfold here. We got magic.

Listen, salty, I'm going to circle back to the whole throwing rocks thing. You may be wondering, how do I even know that there are fish in the area when I'm trying to catch some fish and throw my rocks at them?

I ask myself that all the time. Looking out at that marvelous blue, I can't see a single damn thing.

So what you got to do is you got to set yourself up. After you set out your lines and everything, and you've got your rocks all set up, ready for your throwing, you got to set up a really nice little picnic and just sit really close to the shore, really close to the water, and you just say, hey, little fishies, come over this way. You got to sweet talk them. You got to get them to come to you. And that's when you can throw the rocks in and catch your fish.

Ooh.

Bring them to you. Brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to go set up a picnic right now full of limes and rocks. Thank you. Too diligent. And he holds up a star above his head.

Thank you, old salty.

Good. Of course. I really hope that this really brings my business up, because most of the village depended on me for a food source. Goodbye. Now.

I feel really bad.

Got to go.

I feel bad lying to this character.

We got an hour. We got to be cheeks, get out of here.

You are halfway there. I am very impressed.

I'm very glad that Brendan had lie, because I don't think I could have actually thought of a real fishing tip.

But we've watched so many anime where they explain fishing, and we've gone into detail every single time. I really. Don't know how you wouldn't have any knowledge stashed away at least two.

At least two, which is two more than I thought there'd be of anime.

Okay, I feel like I want to do the tennis now.

Let's go.

Yeah.

All right. So you make your way to a small clay court, and you see some spectators standing outside, mostly youths. And you see just a boy standing in the clay court. And you walk up to him, and once you step in front of him, an exclamation point comes up over his head and he pulls you into a conversation. He says, hey, me, I'm kind of the king around here. Let's battle. He pulls out his own deck of cards.

Oh, shit.

I'm sure you're all aware of cloth storage. Creature fights Clotho stirs.

Yes, of course.

Now we got a battle. I got two monsters, and you got to take them both down. And then you'll get my star and maybe my respect.

This isn't as all what I thought was going to be at the tennis courts.

I need the respect of this child. It is the most important thing to me right now.

So you see just big dinosaur, but it's wearing corduroy that pops out and that's its monster. I love them for this. I'm not going to tell you the power of the cards I'm playing because yes, I have my own deck cheater. So I'm going to need you to work together to try to take this creature down.

Cool.

And it's a straight. Whoever has the highest power level wins. And there is a rule. Let me find it. If you want to increase your power, you are welcome to rip a card in half and remove it for your grimoire. And for that round, that point value will be doubled, but you can't use it ever again. Are there cards you hate? Is there something that reminds you of a show that gave you a real hard time?

It's my entire deck.

Well, okay, hold the phone. The monster is going to attack us also.

I mean, you don't have a close to sure, so I guess it's you fighting it.

God damn it.

Okay, I'll be the closest. Sure. I'll take the hit. I've always wanted to fight corduroy, do.

You want to go first? I have an eight that is sleepy. So my idea is to cast a sleepy spell on this corduroy dinosaur monster.

Well, if dugan has his own deck and it shows that dugan's brought, I'm going to say a third of it is just zoids. So it's probably that card somehow because we draw a new card after we use one. Right? Okay. I got clubs, which can power a card, and I'm willing to rip one up. And I got bleach, which is a six. So I think I can boost that to a 19.

Is jinx? The highest, though.

Let me give you the range of them. So two to five is a cantrip. That's small effect. jinx is six to eleven. That is definitely noticeable. We're not doing anything stealthy, so we don't need to worry about being noticed. Twelve to 19 is a hex, a spell with undeniable obvious magical impact that lasts for days, can affect up to a building. 20 to 35 would be a huge city block. enchantment and 36 and higher is sorcery and can start bending the reality of the world.

Okay. I mean, if you want to see that. Brendan, what is your bleach going to do?

I mean, bleach is the poisonous to begin with. Dinosaur factor.

So essentially, you're just going to throw acid at the Corduroy dinosaur monster.

The opposite. bleach is a base.

My mistake.

I have ascertain flex. I have to actually know chemistry for.

I think, both the smartest and dumbest joke I've ever made.

I don't know. I said electric boy galula.

That was the funniest joke I've ever made.

But bleach is bad for the organics, but also it's going to fuck those coteries right up. They're not going to be wearable. So I think I can hit it on two fronts. I don't know which one's the power, but I got at least two factors.

You go for it. I love it.

Also, I get to rip up cards. This is bleach, which is just brownie points for me.

Cathartic.

Yeah, this is great for me. Yeah. So I think I'll do that. I'll play my seven of clubs, which will boost it, and my six bleach, and then tear it in half and.

Tear it in the microphone.

Yeah, I need to hear you tear it, Brendan.

Nice.

Fantastic.

I shook it a little bit and I was so scared, I cut down.

It all right. So what was the total?

So 19.

Okay. I drew a 15. So you win. You see this dinosaur? My cards were hurt fruits. So it pulls out just coconuts and tries to start throwing them at the hurt fruit.

Yes.

And you are able to dodge, dip and weave. And, Brendan, you make your way up and just splash bleach in its face, and it just freaks out and disappears. whoa. You took down one of my monsters. Well, you're going to be no match for my next monster.

Oh, shit.

Oh, no.

I thought that was it.

Now there were two.

You should work on your listening skills.

He really should. It's great that you point that out now that we're here on episode 200.

So, now you see a familiar face, but not in the context that you want to see this creature, Santa, pop out.

What?

Santa?

He's on fire. A fire Santa? No, that is what I drew, and I used all three of my cards as a so.

It's strong.

Well, okay, it might be low, but you have one card left now, Brendan, right. For this encounter.

Oh, can I not draw?

You can refresh outside of combat.

Yeah, just the one card and it's a two.

What's the word?

Blockade.

Blockade. Well, okay. Oh, no. Okay, let me add this up. Okay, that would be seven times. So I have sleepy, that's an eight. I have part timer, that's a five, and I have run that's a four.

What an appropriately titled thing for options.

Do in this battle.

So here's my thought. But we wouldn't defeat its monster if we did that, because I was going to say, if we cast it on ourselves to be a sleepy part timer that's late for their job and has to run, and then we flee the battle, I don't know if we would necessarily win.

Could we reverse that and make it? So if we can't win by running away, does it mean that they also can't win? If they run away, can we make them run and flee the battle, disqualify themselves?

Yeah, I think maybe I should try casting it on Flaming Santa instead of us.

Yeah. Because my blockade is weak. My blockade's like straws.

Okay, so I'm going to do that. I'm going to cast that sleepy part timer has to run spell on Flaming Santa and altogether it's a 17.

Okay, interesting.

1030 late for the morning shift means.

So you cast a spell right as Santa is about to punch you, and and it seems to punch the energy of the spell so it doesn't attack you, but you also aren't able to cast sleep. I also had 17, so let's call it a draw.

Oh, dear.

Know what? Let's the rules or whatever draw refresh your hand. That will be more interesting.

Thank you so much. Because I wouldn't have anything use them all. Can you hear my heartbeat? I got ice.

Oh, boy.

You know what? Yeah. Fire Santa is still here. Let's make my next hand its attack.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

I think get great ones.

I got relatively high numbers now.

Could I tear a power card and double that?

Ooh.

Add two levels, let's say yes.

My cards are weak.

Are we waiting for Santa to attack us or are we attacking first?

So I drew its power. Let's see if you can beat it.

Okay, so, as I said, I have ice. Okay. Do you have any ideas, Brandon?

Ice is better than what I got. I got blockade crossing and a power.

Okay, hold the phone. We could do no he's Flaming shit.

But some games ice is good against fire sometimes. This week we don't know.

Okay, because we could do an ice blockade, right? I also have clubs, so if you would rather I tear up a club.

To make it I got a six.

I have a seven clubs.

Okay.

But I think it doesn't matter the number of the clubs, it just increases the level anyway.

Sorry, say that one more time.

The number of the club card doesn't really matter, right? Because it just increases the level anyway.

Yes. So all numbers do count. Those are just like booster cards. To increase the number, you are still adding the number that is on your spell word cards.

Right? Okay, so I'm going to use Ice, and then Brendan will combine and use your blockade. So I have my Ice is an eight.

We can only do one power card per spell, right?

The clubs.

Yeah, I think so.

I was going to tear mine in half.

Yeah, that's what I was wondering if we can only do the one, or if I can add my clubs as well and just boost even higher.

You can add them.

Well, then I don't have to tear mine.

I'm wondering if we tear them anyway.

Because no, that high.

This is around two for flaming Santa.

Well, your blockade is a two.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's ten and then plus two levels. What is that? What level?

13.

Hex.

What? Seven? Seven and six?

No, it just increases the level of the spell.

Oh, so yeah, it would be a hex because there's a cantrip jenks hex.

Sorry, it ripping a card will double the number value of that card rather than jumping up to the next category.

No, I'm saying if we're playing Ice blockade, that's ten. But if we were to both play one of our clubs, would that then increase the spell? Two spell levels.

What would be the total of it?

23. I think it would still be a hex. No, it's over 19. It would be yeah.

20 to 35 is an enchantment.

Let's fucking do an Ice blockade. enchantment, baby.

Bottle bing.

So what's the total?

One more time.

I have and we want to hear those rips.

Do we want to rip?

Well, we're both playing a club.

Oh, got you. So instead of ripping, you are both just playing cards. I see.

Yeah. So my cards altogether is 15.

Mine is eight. So 23 total.

Okay. You see Santa reach into his bag and he pulls out just a beautiful again, another person you recognize, just not in this context. It's Carl Marks. But wait a minute. Stunning. Just beautiful.

This got weird.

Just so beautiful and so seductive and so just sensual. Of course, the attack super easy. Revolutionary. So Carl marx is going to try to seduce you, but it's only 21. It doesn't work. And you see, the power of Karl marx fades when just no one seems interested in hitting that. And Santa just tries to bum rush you when that fails and hits the ice wall and knocks himself out, you win.

That was a close one, too.

Yeah. Two points. That makes it so clear. He was like a bird. He just flew into it.

Listener. I hope that was so fun for you to listen to. How to figure out how we were figuring out to level up our spell venture.

I may edit this a little. Okay. whoa. I can't believe you defeated both a dinosaur Santa and carl marx. Wow, this is a very good video game. Ha. Well, here you go.

Doodle.

And he has a star above his hat.

Three holes of the cafe need four to form the goal. I don't know what we're doing. Well, now we've established I don't listen too well.

Now we get to go to the cafe.

Time for a victory lap.

I'm so excited.

I'm going to get a quoissant, a nice brunch. I'm going to get a milk tea and upset my tummy.

So you make your way to a cafe and you go inside, and it's pretty empty except for one person behind the counter, and they seem a little bit worried.

Worried? hale and well met.

Oh, hello. Are you here for the contest?

Yeah. What seems to be going on? You seem down.

Why you're worried?

I mean, it's sort of the energy of this place right now, because our owners, Domeo and judiet do of course, they're not on speaking terms. They seem to be having trouble and they just can't reconcile. Can you help resolve this marital and or business conflict?

I and or would love to do that for you.

All right. I do have some rules, though.

Okay.

Because, I mean, this is an anime video game, so you aren't allowed to communicate directly. How does this work? I see there are two of you. They only like to talk one on one. So one of you is going to talk to one of them, the other is going to talk to the other person, and then you two will help them resolve it. Now, we don't want you cheating, so whoever is not talking has to remove their headphones when you're ready to come back in.

Holy oh, no. Okay. Thank you so much for this. I'm glad we did this last.

I'm just getting flashbacks of anytime we played a co op board game with you and me and just not on the same wavelength at all.

Okay, quick question.

I drew new cards. I got two aces.

Oh. Those count as just ones, but that's less fun. Feel free to discard and take a mother fun card.

Okay. Because the one is blank. Yeah, all good.

Okay, so we're each going to talk to one of them and then reconvene.

Yes.

So who would like to talk to who?

I'll talk to Judieto, if that's okay with you, Brendan.

By all means.

Okay.

All right. Yeah. How this will work, there will be a little bit of a transition. You cannot mention anything. I'm actually going to have Brendan go first, if that's all right.

Just like, narrative. No problem. Tell me when to take off my headphones.

All right. If you will just keep an eye on your Facebook chat, which I'm going to reopen right now. Sure. I will message you when you're ready to reconnect.

Okay.

In the Lord, you'll just be standing outside the cafe with your hands or you were screaming, so you don't hear anything.

Talk to you soon. bye. bye.

Okay, dee, are you still with us? No. Fantastic. Okay, so, Brendan, you go into the kitchen, and you just see a forlorn man, and you go up and talk to him. He says, oh, dear, I'm so worried. I I just need someone to talk to. Is that you, friend? Yeah.

Tell me about your troubles. What's going on?

Well, let me give you a little bit of backstory. So me and Judietu, we were the perfect kids next door growing up. Love story. We had all these flirtations in, like, school growing up. We had this, like, on again, off again love affair. It was just such an idyllic, almost like story, like love story. And then the day came. We graduated school, and I knew that they were the person I wanted to spend my life with. So one night, we went out under the stars during a meteor shower, and I proposed, and it was just a beautiful moment. We were married shortly after, but I noticed there was a little bit of change in demeanor for Judietu. She seemed to be, I don't know, a little bit more distant, a little bit more reserved. I was worried that she lost interest in, like, okay, we had this big love affair, but it sort of culminated. Is she at a stage where she is afraid to confront, like, marital bliss or something like that? I don't know. But recently I did notice I would wake up in the middle of the night, and she wouldn't be there. She would come back the next morning, but she would never mention it or anything like that. So I really don't want jealousy to color my vision, but I think she might be seeing another man. And I'm so scared. I don't know how to bring this up. I don't know how to get this across, but can you please help me, friend?

I'm sorry for I'm what going to put you through. Yeah, I can help you out. That's actually exactly why I came here today. I lean in close. You got to promise not to tell anyone about this, because she actually is seeing another man. The wild part is the other man is me. So cast a spell and boost it with a three of clubs, and the spell is a nine, so it'll be twelve total.

Okay.

The spell is Spy from Spy X family. And I'm going to lean in and say, I'm actually the guy she's seen at night. She's working in some spy business, and the reason she hasn't told you is because it's confidential, and she has to keep it low. We actually have been keeping an eye on her, and we're worried that this tension in the relationship is going to be noticeable and going to blow her cover. So let me assure you, she does love you. It is a very real marriage, but she just has a side hustle going on that is a purely professional, so you have no worries about that. She just has a little job on the side that she needs to get taken care of every now and then. So, unfortunately, it has caused some strain. But I've come in here as an agent of the organization to reassure you it is not a romantic one and you have nothing to worry about. She's just a little preoccupied lately.

I wow. Honestly, thank you for telling me this. This gives me a lot to think about. Can I please have a moment? And he utters you back to the door.

I follow his lead.

So you are back in the cafe, and now we're going to swap for D. If you would mind taking your headphone.

Will do.

Okay, I've put down my phone and I've returned that's. What that? Noise holder.

Wonderful. I was like, wow, their headphones are really clanking. Brendan, are you there? Perfect. Okay.

Oh, boy. Before I go see judy, I would like to cast a spell.

Okay.

Interesting. This is more of a joke because they're both just so low level, but I have breakfast, which is two, and bloom, which is three. So I would like to cast breakfast bloom and bring judea an Edible Arrangement and say that it's from romeo.

Wonderful. Absolutely the best. Okay.

And it's got all those great little chocolate covered things on it and everything.

Oh, beautiful.

All the skewers.

That is way more plastic than is needed. There's, like, a styrofoam base where you're not getting as much fruit as you should get for the size of the vessel. Great.

Yeah.

Cool. Let's say, well, it was like, a five. So, yeah. A modest Edible Arrangement appears in your hands, and you take it into the small back office, and you see a woman just sitting at the office, poring over numbers, doing accounting. But she seems so forlorn.

Knock, knock.

Hello. Can I help you?

Yeah, hi. My name is dee. You're Judietto, I presume?

Yes, that's me.

Okay. So I'm here because I have a gift for you. Your man's romeo has ordered this Edible Arrangement for you.

Oh, that's so sweet. And you can see this is a wonderful gift anyone would appreciate, but she seems to not appreciate it as much. And she says, I'm I'm so sorry. He's he's so thoughtful. He's so wonderful. But can I please confide in you?

Of course you can. I love the tea.

Okay, well, let me give you a little backstory into why things are so rough. He's being so thoughtful, and it just hurts me so much. There's something he doesn't know about me. We had an ideal young love growing up. We were the neighbors next door, falling in love through high school, having just those flirtations. It was completely idyllic. Classic. Yeah. We graduated, and one night he took me out to a field under the stars, under a meteor shower. And he got down on one knee and the world stopped. I don't know what happened. The stars were still moving, but he just froze in place. I went back to the village, and everyone else was frozen in place. And for some reason, I was the only person still able to move. It was a terrifying existence that I can only imagine lasted 10,000 years. I don't know. I slowly saw shadowy figures in the woods come into the town trying to eat villagers, and and I had to devote my life to keeping them safe. I I spent what was almost certainly centuries tearing down our beautiful forest around us to make barriers around our town fires that seemed to be the only thing that keep away these shadowy creatures. But it was for nothing. They gathered their numbers. They mounted an attack, throwing Shadow after Shadow onto the flames as I fought them off. And as I was finally able to get a blade up to the throat of Dark Lord General Laminax, of course, he froze me. And he said, if you want none of this to happen, speak a word to no one. And suddenly, I was back in that field, staring deep in his eyes, and I knew I had to keep this secret forever to keep the world safe. So you can tell him whatever you want, but you cannot tell him the truth. Please, tell him anything but the truth. The truth, in this one instance, is the only thing in this interaction that will make things worse.

Okay, that's a lot that was a lot of info to dump on me, but don't, what's the problem you're having with your man's, exactly? Like, he just feels like you don't.

Tell him anything or I mean, after spending 10,000 years fighting off Shadow creatures alone, that changes you. I was no longer the recent graduate that he knew. I was a grizzled warrior with no proof, no explanation. So I don't know how to live in this world anymore, as strange as it sounds. So I get more distant at nights. I feel the need to still patrol the barrier of the village in the woods, but I can't tell the truth.

So the barrier is still up?

No. The perimeter of the village. The person controlling my brain is an idiot sometimes.

No. So you telling me the truth is cool because I'm not from here, presumably.

Oh, yes. The challengers who come and compete in our competition seem to have no effect on this world. It's as if they're not of this world.

Crazy. Okay, so he just feels like he doesn't know you anymore. That's the issue here.

I think there's someone else who may know his side of the story a little bit better than I can tell it.

You're so right. Maybe I should go talk to my compatriot. Maybe I can talk to him, I.

Mean oh, that would be wonderful, but again, he cannot know. He cannot know and she turns back to her accounting work, head in her hands. She seems to be more disassociating at the numbers than actually accounting.

Sure. Before you bring Brandon back, can I tell him this or no?

Will it make it back to Domeo?

Okay. Right. Because we're not up this world, so Domeo doesn't know. Okay.

Okay. I am bringing back okay.

Oh, man, Brendan.

Look at your goddamn messages now.

He left. He's getting oh, no. There he is.

I had to turn my light on.

I just sat here and just saw the, like, icon of an unread message in the chat.

I was like, Brendan, you had one job. It's up on my modern. It's just not clicked on. Like I'm not got you.

Okay.

Welcome back.

Thank you.

So, is there anything you, too, would like to discuss?

Yeah, we should discuss it where no one from the town can hear us.

Yes, I agree.

So can we go back to the field where we came from, or is that too far away?

You can sit down. This cafe is otherwise empty. You can get a booth where no one can hear you.

Okay, cool.

Let's also say, dee, you can tell Brendan cast a spell. Something with a noticeable effect on the work.

Okay.

Again, you don't give me a spell, but I'm not going to burn through this thing. Come on.

I just had to call you out.

You gave me magic. I'm good.

Am I allowed to ask him what he did?

Hey, you, too, are acting on these. Some lovers in peril. However you want to try to resolve this, go for it.

Okay. Brendan. I feel weird. I feel like you've done something. What did you do?

Feel like you're coming at me with a strong tone right now.

I can sense your nasty magic. Your nasty grubby magic.

Why are you dying to know? I told him I'm a spy.

Cool.

And I told him that she is also a spy, and that's why she's sneaking out at night talking to another man. The other man is me. Because we're spies.

Oh. So how does he feel?

He seemed to take it well and then ushered me out very quickly. So maybe not so well. I don't know.

Okay, I want to know. Was he just feeling like she was distant? Was that his issue with her?

It seems like after the marriage, or after they got married, stuff seemed to fizzle out. And she seems to be sneaking out, seeing someone. Maybe she's sneaking out. I think seeing someone is the assumption.

Okay.

But she is going off on her.

Own, so I also cast a spell. I brought her an edible arrangement.

Whoa.

What do you mean?

You came at me? I cast pretty strong about magic.

I had breakfast in bloom, so I cast it and made her an Edible Arrangement and said it was from him.

Oh, that's slowly. He was a cantrist and was not noticeable. So I was going to leave it up to D to tell you.

I wanted him to know I came.

Out to just an edible arrangement. Like, oh, where did I come from?

Yeah, I gave it to her. Okay, no one else in the town can hear this, right? I got an info dump. Did you get an info dump?

Not really. I kind of gave him the info dump.

I got an info dump. So, she told me that through school, they've known each other since they were kids. They were like, boyfriend girlfriend in school. And after they graduated, he got down on one knee to propose, and then the world froze and she was the only one who could move. So she, for thousands of years, she thinks was protecting this place and the people here from Shadow Monsters. And right before she was going to kill the leader of the Shadow Monsters, he said, if you don't tell anybody that this happened, you can go back and we'll leave everybody alone. So she did that. So now that's really weighing on her mentally. So the reason she's going out at night is because she's going around the perimeter of the village because she's still paranoid that these monsters are going to come back.

And you know what? The spy thing is not too far off there.

That's not too bad. And, I mean, if he seemed cool.

With it, he didn't seem upset.

He seemed like, oh, that makes sense, and, like, rolled with it.

Well, I mean, wait, but if she.

Can'T tell anybody but she told you.

Oh, it's just the people that actually live in the village. She told the people who compete in the competition. Doesn't seem to affect them.

Got you. I was worried we were going to fight Shadow Monsters in a second.

Yeah, I double checked. I mean, we still might have to. dugan kind of made it vague, so we'll see what happens. But I told you.

It's almost like you called me out for the logic of me giving this info dump, saying you can't tell anyone, when the whole thing is she has to tell you.

She has to tell somebody. That weirdly. Works, though. I thought I was going to be in real trouble with the spot.

Brendan. I could not fucking believe it. I win again.

So can we tell her what Brendan told him?

Only D, you can only talk to her. Brendan, you can only talk to him. But tell either of them whatever you want. It just has to be in that arrangement.

Okay. So I think if I go tell her what you told Domeo, I think if she's, like, cool with the lie, then we've solved their problem, right? Especially if he was cool with her being a spy.

Yeah, I don't think I have to go back and tell him anything because he seemed fine. And with her, she doesn't even have to continue the.

Lie.

She just has to be like, all right, I'm going out for the night.

Wink.

And doesn't have to feed into it if she doesn't even want to.

Yeah, but I feel like she should know.

Yes, she should know in case she says something. But if she's like, I feel bad about lying. It's not lying. Just say, I'm going out for my thing. technicality.

I'm going to go tell her that.

Yeah.

All right. So you make your way back into the office, and she's still there, disassociating at her accounting.

Hey, Queen.

Oh, hello. Did you figure out a solution?

I think I did. So my friend spoke to your man's, and coincidentally, he convinced your husband that you're a spy and that's the reason you're leaving at night is to go do spy shit. And he seemed cool with it. So, like, if you're cool with him thinking that, then I think we're good, you know?

Wow. I I never thought to come up with, like, an alibi. That's wonderful. I think that would definitely work.

Okay, great. I would also like to say, just for, like, your own mental health, I would consider therapy just as a little side thing.

I'm unfamiliar with that concept. It wasn't programmed into this game.

Okay, sorry.

But thank you. And thank you for proving the old lesson. If there's a miscommunication, more lies work. Anime. God damn it.

God damn it.

Holds up a star above her head.

Deleted.

You got your voice star.

I fucked it up, though.

We fed into the stage like gaining girl boss. We're doing it.

We put it to the test. God damn it.

It works.

Well, we did it, Brandon. We did it.

It makes you feel better. You didn't lie. I did it. I had lie in spia's cards.

This is your fault.

Hey, I got us to start.

You're right. We did it.

So you make your way back out to the courtyard, correct?

Yes.

All right, you go up and you talk to the mayor and oh, wow. Did you complete all the challenges, tada?

We sure did.

That's wonderful. And here's a secret. You passed another challenge, just passively. You didn't sexually harass any minors. So you get star number five, and he holds a star above his head. You'd be surprised how many people don't get this star.

Oh, God. Well, thanks.

I don't like that. I guess I'm glad we haven't I'm just glad it exists.

So I think it's time that you receive your and you hear a rumbling.

Oh, no.

You see from the gates hang on. I said this was an island. fuck. You see a boat very quickly approach, much faster than a boat should approach, because it's a video game. Who saved it? There you see a boat pull up to the docks, just landing right next to old salty, having a cute little lime and rock picnic by the beach. Just still upset that he hasn't caught any fish. But you see a bunch of soldiers pop off and a lord on horseback, and he approaches you.

Hey, good evening, my lord. bows pledge is fealty to random lord.

No, don't do that.

This won't go badly.

So you see this very regal lord right up to you. And he exclaims. It is I, Lord Hi komito the unsullied, and I'm here to disrupt this anime competition. Me, I've never seen an anime, and I kill anyone who makes me try. And I'm here to kill all the anime experts before they can share it out in the world. Oh, now I challenge you to battle.

We're being retconned DUGAN'S self insert character.

I love them.

So we have one last boss battle. Are you ready?

Yeah, I think so.

My first attack is reddied. I'd love to see you undo this one.

Undo. Okay. Well, I do have a pretty the numbers aren't super high, but the words are delightful.

Great.

I do have one six of clubs, so that will help. And I could tear it, I guess I could tear any of these. And then I have a six vampire oh, and five ride. So my vision with these three cards is just like a vampire biker gang. They just roll just kind of like in an arcade game, they would just roll through and cause damage to the man, you know what I mean?

It's like stampede over them.

Yeah.

Okay. I think I could throw in crossing to do vampire ride crossing, like deer crossing as if it's a designated area and it's the lord's fault for being in there.

I mean, I don't know if we need to go that far.

It's five.

Okay.

I just don't know when else I would ever use that one. So mine as well.

Mine would be twelve plus 25. 22. And then I can rip my six of clubs to make it a higher.

Level spell 22 to 28 because you just doubled.

I'm going to do that.

Okay, so you get to 28.

Yeah. You want to hear me rip the card?

Give us that asmr.

All right, go for it. Okay, so you hear coming from the top of the hill where the spooky house was. From the front door, just a stream of bikers come out and they make their way down to you. But hat as well.

Yamaro, yamato.

I rip to ten, so I have a total of 30.

Oh my God.

So what happens? My other cards were chaotic fuse. Both of them. voids cards. Piece of shit calling me out earlier from that moment.

Listen, stop making us watch fucking zoids every year. And I'll have different jokes.

Well, I need to keep stacking my cards.

Brendan the long con.

So all of these bikers, you see a massive magical energy just come over them and you see them turn into a perfect sphere of flesh and chrome. They were all fused into one megabyker, but just a megabyker orb. It is rendered effectless. Damn it, Beans. I'd like to see you do better than that in this next round.

Oh, God.

Feel free to refresh your hand.

Okay, you only got two cards left.

Okay, what do you got, brenda?

I'm thinking here, okay, so hear me out. How many cards can we tear for a spell?

Let's limit it to one per round. Just fair, just for funzies.

Sure. Fair. Okay. Let's see how far I can break this baby. I think I can get all three into a coherent spell. Whether it's good or effective is strongly up for debate.

Sure.

I'm thinking, you know in D and D, how all them little dice fellas all got those wacky little shapes, and they're all clear and shiny, and some of them are real sparkly, and some got cool patterns, and they look good, and you just want to chew on them for a while. dice eater rave.

Dice eater rave.

So we could see where that goes. Eater is ten, so I was probably going to tear that and boost it. I'm thinking, if nothing else, it's a roll off, so then it's just R and G and not my inability to make a good spell, so I guess it's RNG with the cards we pull anyway. But yeah, that's my thinking.

I don't really have anything better than that right now. I do have a two of clubs, so I could assist with making it even higher level.

Okay, I won't say no that I.

Have one card that I want to use before this is over, but it doesn't really go with your stuff. I have love. But we'll see what happens after this turn, because I think it sounds like this is going to be pretty effective.

Nice eat or love rave?

No, because I want to make someone fall in love, Brendan.

Okay, if I can crush our enemies if we had it at the cafe.

But I just got it. Yeah, so what's your total then?

So if I get the tua clubs from you get it. dice is eight, so that'll be ten, rave is four, so 14. And if I tear Eater, that'll be 20. So it'll be 34 total.

Hell, yeah.

All right, so you just hear and coming from the docks, another ship just decked out with party. It's a booze cruise for sure. Hell yeah. You just see a bunch of gamblers and a bunch of D and D Nerds just rolling out, all just having a great time, and they just get in this courtyard and tear it up. You see, this dark lord played a serious clover. Just a big flowery green monster appears in front of you, and right as it's about to attack, it gets trampled. I had 16. You easily beat me this round.

The dice nerds back at it again.

Ah.

Oh, that that one hurt. ah. You. You know the old saying, defeat me three times in battle, and then you'll get your reward. But this is a unique thing to me because again, I never watch anime and I don't know any tropes. So here's this next attack. Okay, so I have my cards drawn. What what do you want to play?

So this is the final turn. I think we should just say what we have and then we can talk about what we want to do.

I'm purely boosting this turn. I got a two and a ten of clubs.

Cool.

And pretty pretty. So I could work with love. I don't know. What else you got?

Okay, so I have talentless, which is a two.

Okay.

I have a line, which is seven, and I have love, which is eight. So I'm thinking if we do so talentless and love would be ten.

What was pretty nine?

Talentless? Pretty love is 19, plus your ten of clubs is a 29. And if you were to rip, that would be 39. In love, nine. We conjure just a fucking bimbo for this man to fall in love with.

No arguments here.

And he's so enthralled and in love with this little bimbo that he can no longer fight. His heart has turned to love.

Like true anime.

Could you give me the full total and words you're using, please?

Yeah. So mine is ten and then you're pretty was nine.

Yeah, pretty is nine. Then I got a two of clubs and just confirmation we can rip clubs to boost that. Yeah, rip it. You get that good rip. So I ripped a ten. So that's 20 plus my two of clubs. That's 22 plus the pretty nine, which is 31.

So 31 plus ten is 41.

Okay.

This bimbo is so strong.

Let's go bimbos.

Yeah. So as I mentioned earlier, a 36 or higher is sorcery that can just change the reality of the world. You cast spell energy, and he also cast Spell energy. And they hit and they're battling, they're pushing towards each other. And you just see this person form in the middle in a nurse outfit, and he says, oh, my, that hit you delled me the last round. Well, erase it now because I just brought out my healer and you hear her say, oh, yeah, yeah, I got you. I'm sorry, I don't I don't really feel anything. You didn't cast anything? No, I did. I'm sorry. You're so beautiful. I used healer and lied. So that, combined with your spell made a lying nurse bimbo that he falls deeply in love with.

What a finale. Such a high score.

I'm sorry, miss. It's hot out here. Boy, the sun is hot today. I know I'm in the middle of battle, but you're just so gorgeous and I must submit myself to you and to vote my life to service to you. And he jumps down off his horse that he was on if I didn't mention before, and just gravels at her feet, and she's like, okay, let's go. And they go into the cafe, and you see her sit down, and him just pull out his wallet and just throw all the money he has at the counter.

Oh, I'm so glad.

It is truly appropriate that for the final battle, we turned the Lord into a symp and gave him a waifu god.

And we worked together the power of.

Friendship and love and bimbos and synths.

The ballad of love and Bimbo, the name of that legend. So you see, the soldiers quickly run back to the ship, knowing that their lord is just really head over heels over just a garbage woman. They retreat, and you see the mayor pop out, and he says, you did it. You defeat the dark Lord with the power of simping. We all know that simping is the true power after all. More power than any spell could cast. Now it is my great pleasure to present to each of you a certificate of excellence and expertise.

Oh, my goodness.

Jumps in air freeze frames.

Yeah.

And as you freeze frame, you black out the bad spot to freeze frame. Guys, are you there?

What?

Yeah, sorry.

Hello?

Hey, you just sat quietly as I was screaming at you for the past hour and 40 minutes. Are you both okay?

I can't be, right? I'm never quiet.

Honestly, never been better. zugan. And great news. We've obtained our licenses in expertise.

Got that paper.

Oh, fantastic. I'm glad you were able to sort it out. I know it's probably, like, a ten question BuzzFeed quiz or whatever, but totally. I mean, it seems a little late in the night now to do our narjo episode, so I guess we'll save it for another time. Thank you. If there's an anime you would like us to watch, you can reach out to us. Our email is are wetheryet@gmail.com. Or you can reach out to us on Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok at areweebeveryette on all three.

You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at honey. Period d, or on Twitter at honey. D eight and honey d art. And now I'm certified. Officially.

Officially. You can find me on Twitter at aBTS print and stand for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a video game podcast I do, but it's not as fun as coming up with spells called keep Your Hands Off Your Ancient Boy.

I mean, those are just your buzz words. You can just say words whenever you want, Brendan. We we know. Thank you, camille ruley, for her artwork, and thank you, Louisong, for them song stories. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong dot bangkamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to love Bimbos. What? Sorry, I don't know where that came from.

Brendan, I feel so much closer to you now. Music you.