Hey, that's the gelato I brought back from Italy yesterday. Hello, and welcome to our week. There yet in exploration and education in Anime. I'm your anime idiot, patrick dugan.

I'm your anime expert, dana hollander.

And I'm brenda mccullough. Your anime schoolboy, Lee Harvey oswald.

Get that boy into a school.

Get him some better guidance.

Cool.

Something he'll learn in that school is all the similarities between Kennedy and nixon.

Fuck Lincoln.

You know, President nixon, who freed all the slee.

I just processed all of that. Like, I get the joke now, but I don't know if you guys ever watched oswald. It was a kids show about noctopus.

Please tell me.

So relevant.

Oh, yeah, it is. Please don't tell me he had any relatives named De Lee or Harvey, because that would be very bad for a kids show.

Yeah, I don't think so. But I also can't remember he had a little hot dog pet named weenie.

I thought it was going to be named John wilkes Booth, but sorry about that. We dodged that bullet. Unlike two of our presidents. Ha ha. Anyway, today's episode is oh, no, also.

Please, it's way more than that.

Well, I mean, two of them get well, how many? Two popular ones.

I mean, reagan got shot, but yeah, shot.

He didn't die from it.

And then also teddy roosevelt.

Teddy roosevelt got shot for his speech and then taf got shot. There was like another older one, like 18th century. Man, we're bad with history.

Are you not sondheim fans? Did you not religiously listen to the assassins soundtrack?

You know, I, as a musical theater fan, have not I'm so sorry.

I've never heard of it.

So no, Neil Patrick Harris is the narrator is great. Anyway, what are we doing here? We're talking about a different assassination piece of media. Assassination classroom. This is a recommendation from Will parson. parson. Thank you.

Thanks, Will.

Thank you for your wreck.

Will we like it? We'll find out.

We got a bad track or could do you guys know anything about this show?

There's an octopus.

Yeah, I know, it's popular. Yeah, that's it.

It's more than our one offs that we usually watch, so that's got good it's a good sign.

Potential.

Good potential. Yeah, it's got at least, like, a second season and a few ovas and stuff. So it's a good sign. It's not the Santa stuff.

I don't know what that is. I don't know why you keep talking about it.

Moving on. This show came out in 2015, so it's also a more recent one.

I didn't think it was that recent. I thought it was like, 2010 dance. Okay, that makes sense.

Malo interesting.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. The manga is as of 2012, so that's older, but the show itself is 2015.

That's still pretty young, like, at least for manga goes. Then again, my anime prime is 1993 to 1998, so maybe that's me. Maybe I'm biased.

That's just you?

That's just me.

Grandpa Brendan. What were the 90s like?

Terrible. Nothing good came out of them, including me. Yeah. All I know about this show, all I know about this is there's a big old alien teacher that tries to get the students to kill him. That's about it.

Sounds like a good time, I guess.

Murder.

So, yeah, we are watching the first three episodes.

Let's kill some time and faculty.

Yay.

Since the school, Shannon like Pepperelle's, the.

Mascot is just a bomb.

Kill our teacher. Kill our teacher.

The mascot is just like a big hand with a knife in it. Oh, jeez.

I mean knifey.

Good old knifey.

I mean, it's Japan. There is a knife mascot somewhere.

There's got to be.

If you don't follow that Japan Twitter mascot Twitter account, please do it's. Fantastic. There's literally a mascot for everything. It's amazing.

I like the plane.

I like the bowl with a snake wrapped around to trying to eat it. And it's a mascot for like, a travel agency. Okay, share. That's a choice. Anyway. Assassination Classroom Episode One let's get into it. woohoo opens in a dark treery classroom. All the students with their heads down and kind of somber and just really set in that mood real top, real fast. And then we're getting cuts to something falling from space like some sort of meteorite. And it cuts back to the classroom and pans around. And then we see outside of crashes, and then we hear like a slithering slimy noise, like running up the hallway. And I mean, we know what this show is about, so it's safe bet it's the teacher. And sure enough, bam. Kicks open the door and it's a big old yellow octopus lad with a big old smiley face on his head wearing the old school teacher outfit of the teaching robes and the graduation cap. I don't know what I'm trying to say. He jumps in the classroom and everyone pulls out guns immediately, like clocks, AR 15s, ak 47. Just like not just little dinky ones. Like, these are some legit ass guns for a classroom. And they just start unloading onto the teacher. But we quickly see they're not bullets. Like, they're not just piercing the wall behind them. They're like little Bbky guns. And teachers just sidestepping. He's just rolling with it. Just dark stole on his way through every single shot. And no one can touch him. He's just way too fast.

He's calling attendance while doing so.

Yeah, he's calling roll. And he's like, oh, you're here, you're here, you're here. While they're just like aiming for his head and just trying to go at him.

Finally a bullet. Hell. Anime.

God bullet hells. And we find out after they all stop shooting and they give up and roll call is done. We see all the bb's on the ground and turns out they're customized bb's for him so they don't hurt people. But if he touches them, his body part of that body explodes and his cells gets separated and divided and all this stuff. It turns out these bb's were made by the government. So he already got the government knowing about them. So it's not that much of a secret. It's not just the school. And then we get the opening and oh, boy, there's a lot of characters. There's like 30 some kids.

Yeah.

Class.

It's like it's like my hero. academia.

Yeah.

Where like all of the kids are in the class and they all get like, almost equal time.

Yeah. It seems like there's no real main. I mean, we do get like one main character, but it seems like everyone else doesn't get plate favorites. It seems like everyone's going to get a little episode or two. But doing this dub sub dub, I did I noticed in the sub in the opening, it gives everyone's names in Japanese and English. But in the dub, it's only shown in Japanese. Which doesn't make a ton of sense to me, but okay, that's not how.

It was in my dub.

The del by watch had only the Japanese names. And it's just like, oh, I don't know who anyone is. And then I watch the stuff and I was like, oh, I don't know who anyone is. Because they went by real fast.

Yeah, it's not like you got time.

Yeah, there's like five kids each shot. And they go by anyway. So after opening, we get the teacher teach in English, which I always find funny in animes because they're in Japan. But it's clearly a school where they're trying to assassinate the teacher and they're learning different ways to do it, but they're also learning like, grammar and syntax and math. So it is still a school. And one of the students points out, like, oh, hey, check it out. You can see the moon. Like, in the daytime. It's a big crescent moon. And this is when we get the flashback of just the moon fucking exploding. And like 70% of it's just disintegrated. It's like, oh, okay, cool. And then the next day, finally, about time. And the next day.

Just kidding. I love the moon. She's beautiful.

She's like his girlfriend and she's a queen.

My girlfriend turned into the moon. Damn, that rough, buddy.

So the moon explodes and then the next day the teacher shows up and it's just like, hey, yo, I'm an alien. What up? I did that. And I'm going to do that to Earth, like next March, so you better find a way to kill me. And just like, oh, damn, the power play. Just laying his all cards out all on the table and be like, I'm this cocky because you won't do it and you won't bet, bitch. As we see a bunch of, like, government agency guys and we see there's one guy who's like the main agent. And I just call him agent because I didn't bother learning anyone's name in this show. So we just see.

I kept calling him government man.

Government man, G man. He hates triangle man. He's head on the head of the front. Anyway, the agents he says the students need to kill the teacher. And it's a big secret, like the aliens a secret. Only the world's leaders know about it. And this classroom of students for some fucking reason. And the students or when he's talking I think it was when he's introducing the alien, one of the kids is like, we're going to be taught by this alien. And the teacher is like, what the fuck? How dare you? I am an earthling, and I'm damn proud of it. It's like, okay, no, you're definitely not human or from Earth, and you're trying.

To pull it up. We don't know that. The government man says it's true. Like he's like, yeah, I mean, he's not lying. Like he's from Earth, but we don't know why or how. We just we just don't know yet.

Yeah, like, we've just seen that he gets offended when he's called an alien. So it's like, all right. And so while the agent is giving, like, an intro to the class, he's like, oh, yeah, you guys got to try and kill the teacher. And he's like, super fucking fast. He was like mach 20, like, at his top speed. And he loves grooming eyebrows, so good luck with that. Boundaries. And apparently the teacher requested specifically to teach this class, this class three E. And we get a quick little flashback of it kind of looks humanish. Like before, the teacher had, like a weird smiley face, but it's all in shadow. So we don't get a lot of details. But we still see the tentacles coming off the body. And he's holding, like, a girl. And is this when this happened? Flash drive from the girl in the class tries to shoot him and tries to no. All right. My nose are fucking messed, apparently. Yeah. So we get like yeah, the teacher we know is like, holding a woman, and she's kind of talking about no, fuck that's. At the end. Sorry.

Anyway, how do you from the end?

Because I just said flashback and it's very vague. Sorry. I don't know what's happening today. I'm a fucking mess. So I was talking about the flashback.

What else is new?

How dare you? We get a flashback of the teacher being introduced to the class, and then we come back from the flashback to present day, and we see a girl jump up and try and shoot the teacher when his back is turned. And he's like, what the fuck did I say at the beginning of class? No more guns. Like, you're just bad at it. It's very obvious. I'm much faster than the bullets. It's a waste, everyone.

It's embarrassing.

Yeah. He's like, you're disrupting class and my lesson. Sit in the back of the class. Think about what you did. It's like, okay, so she is walking back and then we go back into the flashback of, like, when they first get introduced. That's why my notes are a mess. And the agent says, you got to kill the teacher before next March or he's going to blow up the Earth. Also, if you kill the teacher, you get $10 billion. So it's kind of like, oh, cool. What about that whole blowing up earth thing? I feel like that's more important than money.

Yeah, you glossed over that bigger fact.

Yeah. It's like, hey, if you don't do this, you don't get the money. It's like, oh, shucks, and everyone dies. What's that last part anyway?

Can you repeat that?

What's it so the agent is also talking about the teachers, like moods, how he's got the big smiley face and it changes not when he's talking, but it'll change, like, moods. So when he gets green stripes across his face, he's being like, real cocky and smug. I would love to see you try and kill me. He's just very sure of himself. And then we get a few other ones. He gets, like, orange and has an X over his face when someone gets a wrong answer. No, he gets purple with an X over his face. Once we get to purple and an orange circle, when someone gets a right.

Answer, someone just got a purple face and an X over it.

And we also get he gets, like, pink and sleepy after lunch. So despite being a giant target and everyone tried to kill him, he's very expressive and can't hide his moods. I guess he can't lie very well. And they give all the students deadly weapons, but they're only deadly for the teacher. So they give them like, knives that are like rubber and guns with bbs in them, but they're all made out of this, like, special chemical compound structure, whatever do you want to call it that's only deadly for the teacher. And I was wondering, if they can't kill him, how do they know it's deadly to him? And if they haven't killed him, how did they find this out? Did he tell them what's deadly to him or how to hurt him? And then how do they know he's not just lying to him?

He seems like a pretty like I don't know. He seems like a cocky guy in general. So if he's just like, yeah, this is what kills me, but you can't yeah, I'd like to see you try.

Because they don't.

Also, since his main goal isn't to destroy the Earth, his main goal is to be a teacher, I think he is like, hey, let's level the playing field. As long as I can teach, I'll let you know how to beat me, but you best not fucking miss.

It's just weird how they're like, we have these special things that can kill them, but we're not going to go into any detail what they are. So it's just like, oh, you just have an Element X and you just put it on all of these rubber knives and beanie guns.

He's allergic to peanuts. He just made out of peanuts.

It's fucking mni chamberlain all over again. Why would aliens come to a planet that's made out of water? Anyway, so we're at lunchtime, and teachers like leaning out the window. He was like, all right, I'm going to China. I'm going to get some takeout. See you, and just explode out of the classroom. Because he travels at mach One, it seems like he's got no like he's got no scale. It's either he's standing still or traveling at mach 20, there's nothing in between because he's always so fast. And while he's flying to China, he's much like, sonic.

We can't escape faster, faster, faster, faster.

So there's always sonic, just like always in the background of every episode, just a little bit.

Sonic is a constant, and Anne our.

Lord and savior and our destruction. And while he's flying to China, he's also creating papers because he's so flat fast. And it's just nothing to him. So he's also like they point this out a little later episodes. He creates the papers so fast, he like, starts doodling all over him and leaves a ton of notes. And they're just like, hey, I get it. You're fast. Ease up on the doodles it's a bit more. And so while he's gone, we see the students reflecting that he's actually a really good teacher. And like, all of them are really improving in their class. And this is kind of when we get nagas. I watched it like an hour ago, and I forget the name.

NAGISA.

NAGISA. And NAGISA is kind of the main character, probably the closest we'll get to a main character. And it's a boy with pigtails, which is a choice.

He also has really thick hips.

Yeah, I looked it up. Apparently, it's like a running joke or a few students will point it out, like how feminine he is. But it is a boy.

Yeah, of course.

There is confusion among people just saying, what gender is this character?

Yeah. I think it's because he's rocking those cargo pants, so it's real wide.

Those pockets are stuffed full of snacks.

In case you get hungry.

Got to load up with knives and deadly peanut bb's.

Yeah.

Hey, you know what? To be fair, if any character that requires cargo pants, it'd be someone in this show. Like, that makes sense. We don't need to that's true. We don't need light yoga me and Death Note with fucking cargo pants.

Or is he going to keep his potato chip?

I'll take a potato chip and write.

It and I'll eat it anyway, so we find out. Class E, class three. E is like the remedial class. It's where all the bad kids go and they expect nothing from them and they don't know what else to do with them. So they just put them in this remote class, like way up in the fucking mountains, and it's all the troublemakers. And right on queue, we get three bullies. Bully ish kind of characters that kind of pull NAGISA aside, and they're kind of like, hey, what do you know about the teacher? They say, well, let's take a notes, and we see. The notes are kind of like decus. naki sounds really critical in getting as much information as he can. And then we get this one main dick hole, Bully. I'd just call him Die Job because he's got different colored hair and he's just an asshole, saying like, all right, we're going to put you to use, and we got to come up with a plan on how to kill this teacher. And then cuts back to the teacher coming back from lunch, and he's carrying a giant missile with him. He's like, oh, yeah, I picked this up on the way back from China. They shot it at me. Stupid idiot. And just throws the missile away. And NAGISA reflects on how much better the teacher is than him and kind of saying, like, NAGISA might be good as an assassin because he's so unassuming and people pay so little attention to him. He's going to just get by easily. And we kind of get a quick flashback of an old shitty teacher of his kind of just, like, reaming into him and yelling at himself. And then we cut back to the classroom. And the teacher gives a poetry assignment saying they have to use tentacles in the poetry. I was kind of confused by this part because I'm not familiar with poetry.

The ending line the ending line has to be I think it was tentacles all along.

Okay. I wasn't sure if that was a reference to a specific thing, like a poem or something. I don't know. I got confused with Octopus man.

Why else would he it was a reference.

I don't know. I don't know shit about poetry. I'm not going to pretend like I do.

Bird gave me an assignment. It's talking about a beak. Is that ee? cummings?

Hey, tentacles got nothing to do with poetry.

Fair enough. So he gives an assignment. You have to write poetry, and it has to end about tentacles. And everyone's like, oh, that's weird and difficult. He's like, do it. And nagy said, oh, at this, .1 of the girls asked. She's like, hey, teacher, can we call you something by a name besides just sir and teacher? He's like, my name is not something you really just give out. It's kind of like weird.

And this is like they get power over you.

He's a dean.

I read Patrick rothfuss.

Don't name me. You'll get a tat.

You just have to kill it eventually. And this is when we see a teacher start turning, like, pink and sleepy because he's got a full belly and it's after lunch, and NAGISA notices that. So NAGISA goes up to the teacher holding his notebook, but we see the knife behind the notebook. He's going to sneak attack him. And right as he gets up to the teacher, he goes to stab him. And the teacher catches him like, oh, come on, Nagisaw. You're better than this. This is so obvious. And when he pulls a knife away, NAGISA gets closer and kind of, like, hugs him. And we see grenade fall out. Like, knife is wearing it like a necklace. And the die job bully in the back is like, hates a remote and blows them up. And it's like, hey, that's not how grenades work, but okay. And then we see there is an explosion. It was a legit grenade, but it was filled with, like, a toy grenade, but it still exploded with the beebies. So the bully was kind of betting the explosion won't kill Nagisaw, but the beebies inside will kill the teacher. So I'm gambling on hurting nagi saw just to get the teacher. And we see the dye job run up, all the smokes clearing. He's like, ha, you were never expecting a suicide bomber. He cut you still off guard. And we see NAGISA safe in this, like, weird gel, like, encap encasement thing, and it saved them from the explosion. And we hear the teacher saying, like, oh, that was his skin. He sheds it once a month, and he decided to shed it right now to protect NAGISA. Meanwhile, the teacher's up on the ceiling that somehow avoided all the bb's, and he's fucking breast. His head is, like, pitch black and snarling, and he's just super mad that the bullies, a classmate, would risk the life of a fellow classmate in order to try and kill him. He said it was, like, a good tactic and it might have worked, but he's more upset about them trying to harm another student just to get to their goal, and he was furious. So then the teacher just leaves the classroom and flies around town. We see him just bouncing around from place to place and comes back and just drops all of the nameplates for their houses and their address plates. And he's basically saying, like, hey, I can't hurt you because I'm a teacher, and I promise I wouldn't, but I'll fucking kill your friends and family if you try and pull some shit like this again.

And it's like, I loved this power move. It was just like, God, oh my God.

He's like, I can't hurt you directly, but I can hurt you in other ways by hurting people you care about. Just like, holy shit. It's like, yeah, he's a teacher, but he's still a monster.

Yeah.

And this is when we get the brief flashback of the teacher without his big smiley head and a woman dying in his arms and who wishes that he would be a teacher for three E like, specifically teach this class, and that's kind of where we see him making the promise to her. And like I said before, we don't really get a lot of details. We just see, like, the tentacles and a humanoid looking head, and that's about it. And then it cuts back, and we see nagi Sad get, like, a new new motivation saying, like, hey, this teacher ain't that bad. Maybe he cares for us and we can work this shit out. And the girl from earlier is, like, Unkillable. We'll call you the unkillable teacher, which translates to koro sensei in Japanese. And that's episode one.

Yay. I like the ending song much more than the beginning. It's just like a chill jam.

Yeah, it's much slower. The opening is kind of weird. It's just everyone in the classroom, like, fist pumping and then, like, raising their hands.

I like that. I mean, I don't like the song that much, but I like that it's like all of them singing. Yeah, but that's about it. I don't like anything else.

Yeah. Not knowing the tone of the show going in at that point, I was like, this is a very weird choice of song because I thought the show would be darker than it was. And then I was like, okay, I get it. It's fun.

It's still a giant yellow octopus alien. It's still kind of silly.

Yeah. So in episode two, which is called Baseball Time, which sounds fun, it's a good time. We show we are shown, like, a wide shot of the school, and then we pan down, and coro Sensei is reading an American newspaper.

How long? He's like, I'm American.

He's like, man, they're talking about the moon, too. All anybody cares about is the moon getting blown up. And it's like, yeah, dude, what do you think you made the moon blow up? And NAGISA and another student who's named sugino are, like, hiding in the trees, and they're like, wow. He's just over there reading a newspaper he casually picked up in the Us. Weird.

He's also got, like, a fruity drink he got from Hawaii.

Yeah. And Suggino, he has a plan to throw a baseball that's covered in what coro sense calls antime and antime knives.

Yeah.

So he tosses the baseball, and he's like, I got this. There's no way, no way he can dodge that. But of course there is, because he's him.

He goes on mach 20.

Yeah. And he he pops up behind them, and he's like, hey, nice trifellas. Not quite. And he is truly a show off because he doesn't just dodge it. Like, he could have. He uses his speed to go to the equipment room and get a catcher's mitt and catch the baseball and gives it back to them. He's like, Good. Go at it, guys.

Good hustle.

Playing catch with me.

Dad now. He would, though.

Yeah, I know. They're in, like, the remedial class. They're not the greatest at, like, tests and stuff, but this kid's dumb as shit if he thinks of baseball is fast enough to hit him, but bullets can't.

That's true. That's a good point.

Yeah.

I think he was just hoping that he wouldn't see it coming.

Yeah, he thought it would be much quieter and he wouldn't see it.

Yeah, that was something he mentioned.

Yeah.

And then it's time for class. The bell rings and he's like, See in class, boys. And they're just in class, he's teaching them some stuff. And I think it's strange that he's so passionate about teaching these middle school kids before he just obliterates them all. Like, what's the point?

I love you children. I want to nurture your brains and further your education. And then I'll kill you all. Okay.

Thanks, guy.

Thanks, man.

So they're in class, and sugino is visibly upset and downtrodden. And then it's lunchtime, and Corrosense is like, Well, I'm heading out. And they're like, you go into China again? And he's like, nah, I'm going to go catch a ball game in the big AFL.

20 here.

So he lifts off, and all of the kids are kind of talking about America and what it might be like there. And one girl is like, oh, I wish he would bring us souvenirs, like, exotic snacks. And I was just like, what's an exotic snack from America?

Pizza oreos? I've seen there are, like, American sections in supermarkets in different countries. It's just garbage.

It's not exotic to us. That doesn't mean it's not exotic at all.

But it's not, like, good it's all super processed, sugary, garbage food. It's not good food.

That's fine. What's america got anyway?

Pop tarts? cheetos?

That's it?

Just those two things.

Those two things. And then the government man shows up to scold these actual children for not being able to kill their teacher yet.

Hey, dumb twelve year olds, why aren't you better? murderers.

Come on. You've been doing this for two days.

Get ahold of yourselves.

The power of our military isn't a match. But come on. You kids are crafty.

You got gumption. Isn't that enough?

Spunk?

Fox.

So while he's talking to the kids about it, we're shown chorus sensei at the baseball game, and he has a human disguise.

I hate it.

It's pretty good.

I hate it.

I think it's good. He's got, like, a fake nose on, and he's wearing a wig and a baseball hat.

He's got gloves. He's got gloves. But it's only two tentacles, like, in the two finger ports, and the rest of the gloves, like, falling down.

His hands are disgusting. Yeah, we've only talked about his tentacles.

Yeah, they're too sexual. I'm going to smell very follic. The fingers are phallic, and then the palm is like a butt.

All right.

I'm putting it out there in plain language. He got a butt.

Dick.

Hand.

Dick. butt. Classic meme.

I'm going to have to do a picture of that. For this. Okay?

Edit, edit dick butt onto Koro Sensei's hands. It's perfect.

You know what? I didn't pay that much attention to him watching the show. Looking at him now.

How could you not?

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. This is yeah, weird, but yeah, let's move past this.

Let's stop thinking about his weird dick butt hands.

I will never. I can't.

I, like, awake at night thinking of his dick butt hands.

I wonder if his dick butt hands are thinking of me.

Absolutely not. They're only dreaming of destroying the Earth and his students.

Freezing.

You know what? He loves his students. He's thinking of his students, and his hands are thinking of destroying the wall.

Oh, that.

The government, man is, like, reminding us the audience, I guess, but also lording this fact over the children of just, like, look up at the moon to be reminded of what's going to happen to the Earth next year. And it's like, we get it.

I got it.

Leave them alone.

The stakes were pretty clear, dude.

Thanks for rubbing it in.

So sugino is sitting outside again, all like, dejected and whatever. And then Corrosense comes back, and he's like, hey, kid. And that's when he gives him his baseball back.

Hey, champ.

Yeah, he's, like, really friendly. He sits down with him, and he's like, hey, so your throw is pretty good. Are you on a team? And then Sugi knows, like, no, I was on the school's team, but because of my grades and I got into class three E, I'm not allowed on the team anymore. And Coral Sense straight up says, that sounds suspiciously like discrimination to me. And I was like, oh, my God.

Shit, you right.

Wow, hot take. And suito is, like, talking about his pitch, and he's like, I'm just not good enough. And he talks about how when he was on the team, his pitch wasn't good enough, so he turned into, like, a bench warmer, and he just never really played. And nagi says sees them outside together, just, like, sitting there, and he's like, oh, no. He's mad at sugino for trying to kill him earlier. And then once he gets outside, koro Sensei has him all up in his tentacles. And I'm like, no, not like this. Not like this.

We all knew it was happening eventually.

But it's, like, over as soon as it starts. He puts him back down, and he's like, just as I thought you were trying to imitate the fast pitch of this guy that I just saw play. And I know this because I also tentacle handled that guy, man.

Handled that bitch.

See, I was going to write manhandled, but then I was like, tentacle handled.

I mean, technically, it's child handled. Or is it handled for who's handling the thing? Or is it what you're handling is getting handled?

I don't know.

But anyway, my brain is not functioning at this level.

Too busy thinking about those dick fingers?

Oh, they haunt me.

How are they so weird?

They got a little nub at the butt crack.

That's the taint.

No, if you have a knob on your taint, go to a doctor.

There you go.

Guys, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm going to cry. You guys are going to make me cry.

I didn't bring it up. I just made it worse.

You made it worse.

But he's trying to pitch like the pro player.

Yeah. So Koro sensei says that'll never happen because your shoulders aren't as flexible as his. And nagisa gets really mad when Koro sensei is like, That'll never happen, because he's like, what do you know? Don't dash his dreams like that. And Koro sensei is like, I literally just meant that he'd never be able to pitch like that guy. I'm not saying he can't play baseball. And I was like, yeah, come on, show your nuts. And he's like, you have other strengths. Your wrists and hands are more flexible than the other guy, so you should try and think of a way to pitch that's better for you. All right, kids.

Bye, sue.

And it's so sweet, and he cares so much about them, but I also just want to know why.

Because he made a promise you're going.

To kill them, but they're also trying to kill him. So I guess it's a give and a take.

I mean, I care about my house plants, but I'm going to kill them eventually because I'm sad at taking care of plants.

So nagisa follows Koro sensei in, and they're like, having a conversation about why he cares so much. And he says that he says, I made a promise, and I want you guys to be educated. It's important. So he hands back nagisa this graded quiz and has a doodle of a tentacle wearing a bow on it. And it says, for extra credit, give reasons in English why this tentacle isn't MOA enough.

I didn't see that.

Yeah. And then maggie says, like, hey, maybe not.

Thank you.

Don't do this.

Can you chill for, like, a minute?

And then he gets upset about it, I guess. And he starts eating his pen, which was interesting.

He's a very emotional, giant, murderous monster.

Yeah. And then sugyo and nagisa are playing catch outside, and nagisa is like, Nice pitch. And sugino is like, thanks. I took Koro sensei's advice, and I've been trying to figure out a pitch of my own.

Wow. He got to wow kids.

Yeah. And then Coro sensei is shown making shaved ice in the same clearing of the forest that he was reading the newspaper in before. And there are a bunch of kids in the trees, and they're like, did he really get that shaved ice from antarctica? And they're like, who cares?

Murder.

Think about that. Money and murder. So they all, like, run up to him and they're like, Coral Sensei, I hope you have enough shaved ice for all of us. And Coral Sensei is like, oh my god. You guys want to hang out with me?

I've never been this bathroom in my life.

And then they all pull out their knives. And he's like, of course.

What else would it be?

Nice try. And he real quick replaces their knives with tulips that we saw in the flowerbed of the school earlier in the episode. And then they all get sad because they're like, we just planted these tulips.

What the fuck?

We're trying to murder you, but that doesn't mean you can murder our plants.

Yeah, dog. We worked hard on those boys. We raised them so that he gets real upset with himself. And he's like, oh god, I didn't know that beans and beans.

Shit, squitty.

You messed up again.

So he went and got them a whole bunch of new bulbs. And he's planting them in the flower bed. And they're like instructing him on how to do it because they don't want him to be too harsh. They're like, hey, you have to go slow when you're planting them. And he's like, I know. I'm sorry.

I'm so dumb. I'm an idiot.

I'm just fuck. And nagisa is like, writing stuff down a notebook. And the green haired girl who's always there, but like, I don't know. We don't know her name at all. They've never said it.

I've called her just name.

She's also name what?

She asked for his name. And that's the only thing she's done at this point of the show.

So it's just name girl.

Yeah, they're not good nicknames.

You're not on your A game this week.

I don't know what it is. It's too damn hot.

It is fully. Not today.

They don't know that.

No excuse.

Call me out with them.

But so now he says, writing stuff down a notebook. And she comes up to him and she's like, hey, what are you writing? And he's like, I'm keeping a notebook of Coral sense. These weaknesses and sugi note takes out of his hands. And he's like, thank you. He looks at it, and he's like, there's nothing in this. And he's like, I know, but I'm just writing. Like it says his height and that he's lighter than he looks. And that's like it sometimes gets overly.

Excited and just not helpful things.

Yeah, weakness is unknown. And they're like, this isn't helpful. And he's like, well, eventually something will be.

I'm trying at least.

What are you doing?

This is the classroom. I'm taking notes. God damn it.

The point.

And then we are shown the government man at the middle school proper, not the shitty classroom building that the three e's in E class, I guess I should say. And they're talking to the principal, and he's like, yo, I got my teaching credentials still. I'm going to pose as their pe teacher to see how they're doing. And he's like, that's fine.

Sure. I don't care what the fuck ever.

And it's at this point they say the principal is in on this, but other than that, nobody knows about this Octopus Man situation. Yeah. And there are some kids talking shit about the E class because it is supposedly full of, like, ruffians nerdwells. hoodlums nerdwells. Yeah.

Your ragtag team of student assassins.

Munch.

Yeah. And so your students say that as they walk by the Government Man, and then we get this, like, weird shot of, like, I guess, the school mascot. It's like a nut.

Yeah. Get that nut. No, it's like an acorn.

Yeah, I mean, sure. And I guess it's just to be like, a joke because he's talking about the school's goals and it's like, we promote equality and it's like, obviously you don't. And then they flash back to the Government Man being like, they're lying about their school's mission.

Yeah, he's kind of saying they promote that. But if they have one shit class no one wants to go to, it makes everyone else work harder to not be in there. So it works well for like, 95% of the student body. And then the 5%, they just don't worry about.

It's better to have a 5% fail rate that you're prepared for than everyone being a delinquent.

Yeah.

So the Government Man heads up to E Class and he gets there and all of the students are just, like, jogging around. And he's like, what's going on here? And Green haired girl gives him the low down. She's like, oh, yeah, coro Sense messed up our two lips. So to punish himself, he tied himself to a tree and he's letting us take a stab at him.

Literally.

He'S tied up to a tree like a pinata, just, like, dangling there. And they all have sticks with the knives on the end. And some kids have guns, but he's still, like, capable of, like, moving around. So he's moving really fast to get out of the way and he's like, Come on, guys, I'm tied up. Can't you do this?

Can't make it any easier for you.

Yeah, because I'm still moving at Mach 20.

So because of all this wiggling around at the speed of Mach 20, the tree branch breaks and he falls to the ground and he's, like, rolling away, but he's getting all tangled up in the rope. And then he eventually gets out of it and he hops up to the roof and he's like, what? Can't get up here, gibroni. And then he flies away. Get good motherfucker encouraged. And all of the students are encouraged because they're like, oh, this is the closest that we got to him. yay.

We have a chance when he handicaps himself for us.

Hooray. And then the Government Man is like, wow, a bunch of kids obsessed with killing. strangest class ever. And it's like, you put them in this situation.

This is your fault.

Literally. It's weird because they're doing what you ask government ma'am.

They're your paramilitary organization of children. Charles xavier, get off your high horse.

And then we're shown a dark room, and these people are giving a student the lowdown about the teacher man. And he's like, haha, I've always wanted to kill a teacher. So that's episode two.

Tella dosay.

So, yeah, we start episode three. The new gym teacher coach is there going through basic knife attacks with them, sort of their murder calisthenics.

It's a wound. It's a kill. It's a wound. To came to New York. It's a good movie. Don't worry about it. Move on.

Corusnse is a little bit dejected. He's like, but I'm their teacher. And all the students are like, yeah, but you also don't know how humans can move. Could we have someone who knows our capabilities? Because we get a flashback of him, like, yeah, just jump back and forth at, like, mach two. You can do that, right?

Take it easy.

So all the students are like, hey, should we be showing our techniques in front of the murder target? Is that wise assassinating play? And the coach is like, it's fine. You can't do it anyway. And challenges the students, like, hey, if you think you're so good and your techniques are so sweet, come attack me. So they try, and he's like, See? You're all weak, pathetic babies. You can't even take down a human. How are you going to take down an alien? I'm sorry. Not an alien. Octopus humanoid.

He also says, like, meanwhile, the teacher is so fast, he's already made, like, a scaled replica of a Japanese castle in a komodo, and it's already drinking tea, like, within, like, 5 seconds of them not looking at him.

So he's like, yeah, it's not a threat.

Yeah.

So as they're going through all their training, the new kid shows up, the mysterious redhead Karma.

Check that off. The anime bingo card.

So he arrives and is like, hey, I hear you're the teach, and goes up to greet him and shake his hand. And the teacher's like, oh, I've heard so many great things. I love you already.

Join the class.

And as they go to shake hands, karma had cut up a knife, an anti me knife, and taped it to his hands. So as they shake, the tentacle explodes, and he tries to stab, but koros and dodges out of the way. But already he is the person who's gotten closest first time.

They've actually incredible.

Yeah, he shook, so he's like, hey, carmen's, like, hey, you're a big idiot. You know I'm trying to kill you, and and you let me get close, you big you big octopus dummy.

You big doof.

So basically, he's trying to taunt him and just get rattle him to his core, like, emotionally, to, like, get his guard down, and that's sort of his thing for this episode. And we learned that Karma had been suspended for being too violent in vague terms and is now being sent to class Three E as his punishment. So they're back in the classroom. Corosense is sort of dejected that he let a fast one get pulled on him. So he's just, like, absent mindedly punching the wall, but it's all squishy.

I really like this detail. I'm just like, it doesn't do anything. He's two songs.

So Karma is sitting in the back of the class, taunting him even more, being like, hey, he's all squishy because he's mad because I kicked his ass earlier. And then when cora Sensei turns around, karma is eating his gelato he picked up in Italy that morning.

My gelato.

He swiped it from the teacher's lounge. So he's like, hey, no food in the classroom, young man. And tries to go up to take it from him. But as he walks past, Karma set up a trap, some, like, mines on the floor of the bb peanut pellets. And they explode and cuts them up even more.

You got home alone?

Yeah. No paint in Kansas time. That's a different episode.

Teacher Strike trying to talk himself up, saying, like, I can't let him bait me into this. Like, I can't lose my head around this kid because he's definitely more violently one, more violent of rigid and murdered than everyone else.

So we flashed to a different scene. They're at the main school. nagisa is the main nagisa. nagisa saying it not like an American idiot. That's the thing anyway.

Delong of being.

So he's at the school, and we see a couple of bullies staying there being like, hey, look at that loser from Three E. He used to be smart, but now he's dumb. And then Karma intervenes and tells them to fuck off because they know he's super duper violent. They run away.

Yeah, but he threatens them with a glass bottle first.

Yeah, the one nerd is like saying, like, I'd rather be dead than in class E. And Karma just smashes a bottle. He's like, oh, I can help you out with that. And just like, oh, look, put your.

Money where your mouth is, bitch.

Yeah, I really like this scene.

Okay.

So, yeah, now that they've met up, karma's knows that nagisa has been taking notes and wants all the dirt, wants the low down.

Give me the scoop.

So Nagisaw mentions because he's asking, what's the deal with his octopus thing? Does he love it? Is he insulted when we call him that? What's his deal with octopi? So nagi says, actually, he's very down for it, real into it. Like, whenever he draws himself, it's as an octopus. He only plays octopus characters in video games. I don't know where they're playing video games together in school.

I was wondering that too.

But Karma learns that he's like, into octopi and he's like, cool, awesome.

Just fetish. No, could be. No, don't. kink shame.

I'm not King shaming. I just don't want to talk about it.

We already talked about his peanut hands.

We're not talking about it anymore.

Moving on.

Next day.

So the next day, they're back in the classroom, teachers comes in all bright eyed and bushy tail, and there's a stabbed dead octopus on his desk that Karma left. And he's like, ha, I'm going to get to him. psychologically. This is great.

Yeah. In this show about kids trying to murder their teacher, this is like the most violent thing that's happened. Like the nastiest like that's fucked up.

Thing that's happened, killing another animal to send a message.

Yeah.

So Karma is like, haha, take that. But getting a little bit pissed off and needing to show up. This rim bunctious jerk who joined the classroom, he he runs away, picks up his missile he found or that was shot at him last episode. And he uses the fuel from it to cook up the octopus and make takoyaki and be like, hey, I'm going to make you a tasty treat, you fucking jerk. You can take me down. I'm using the power of the missiles that the government can't use to kill me to cook you a tasty meal, you shit.

I'm going to kill this fuck with kindness.

You want to step up to me, son? You want to get up on my level? Let's do it.

Let's play it's like you can be an issue.

Play with me.

You can be a problem child. But I'm here to teach. So as long as I can teach, your pathetic attempts aren't going to do anything.

And I'm a good damn teacher. I'm damn good at it.

So we get a couple more montages of Karma trying to get the drop on him and shooting him, trying to stab him and all that stuff. But now that he's wise to his moves, he's always on red alert and is ready to humiliate him in front of the class with his quick speed. He paints karma's nails. They're in a cooking class, and he dresses up in a frilly pink apron.

Yeah, his nails were good though. They had little takoyaki and like an octopus on it.

I liked Coral sensi's outfit while they.

Were doing home at oh, yeah, he had the hair net, but he has no hair.

Yeah, I love his hair.

It's just woolly tail.

It's so cute. He takes it very seriously. He would love drag.

You know, he's got just a giant closet full of costumes.

Oh, yeah, that's what he does on weekends. Teachers have lives outside of school, you know.

Impossible.

His drag name is octopussy.

It's a good one. It's a good one.

Give it to you. But grudgingly.

Go on.

This one probably won't be as good, but I just thought of it. sepha lapod.

It's less on the nose, so it might work better.

Anyway.

It's also probably not copy written.

That's true.

Yes.

So we get moody Karma hanging out in the woods outside of the class. He's sitting on a log hanging over a cliff being all emo. And he's like, what's that?

He's lamenting. And Nagisaw comes up.

Yeah, he's lamenting. Nagisaw comes up. And also ChorusI follows out. And Karma says, hey, teach, since you value teaching now, I know that that's most important to you. You'd never let a student get hurt, right? And he's like, no, of course not. I'm a good teacher. So Karma is like, ha ha. Fuck you, and throws himself off the cliff. And he's holding a gun with the trap of he either jumps to save him and gets shot doing his due diligence as a teacher, or he fails as a teacher and lets a student die on his watch. Either way, lose lose for Coro sensei, the ultimate gambit. So as Karma's falling, he's like, our lives do flesh before our eyes before we die. And this is how we get a very clunky flashback.

It's rough.

Yeah. And the reason he got suspended and sent to Three E was he beat up a student who was like mocking him for being poor or from a certain shitty neighborhood or something.

Yeah, we don't really see what the other student was doing. We just see him after he was already beaten up.

Yeah, the teacher mentions he was talking shit about his neighborhood or something. Just something about him being poor.

Yeah.

And the teacher was like, I value the student. He's a star pupil. If his exams fail because of you.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And sort of all of his teacher hatred is targeted to this one teacher.

It's also the same teacher that was giving nagi saw shit and nagy get those flashback. And we saw a little earlier in this episode, it was a teacher that was on Karma's side for a lot of us, saying like, I'll help you, man. I got your back. Like, I'll help you. I know you're coming from a tough area, so if you ever need anything, come to me. And then we get this flashback of him just laying into Karma and just completely being two faced. So it makes a little worse.

You're really ruining this kid's future.

Didn't you think about the rich kids and how they're going places?

Why would you call him out for saying something like this? Now he's never going to get into a good college.

But yeah, so we get that flashback. We get his motivation. So as he's falling, Kurosense is too smart. He shapes his tentacles into a net and throws them under him so he can catch Karma without being in the path of the bullet. And he catches them. He's like, hey, I'm going to keep you safe because I'm a good teacher. But this was a fucking dope move. Drops my man. Finally.

You could try.

Dude, you split your name, actually have a shot at killing me. congrats. And it's very encouraging and sweet. Karma is like, okay, I really got to think out of the box. And we got a little moment where he steals his coin purse from the teacher's lounge and that's basically where we end.

I like that Corrosensi also says he's like, I like your attempts. And I like that you keep coming after me. But I also really like it because I keep getting to make you look beautiful every time. Because every time there's a failed attempt, he's like combing his hair, like doing his nails or plugging his eyebrows more. So he's just like, I really like messing with you too.

Those are our episodes.

Yeah.

Nice too.

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

I'll say as put off as I am by the design of this tentacle.

Creature, if he didn't have this tentative, he'd be a perfect design.

If they were just like even going, like, octopus tentacles would be better.

Yeah, but how does he grab? He needs digits. He needs at least two fingers.

And he has them. But why? They got to look like it.

But what about the balls?

No. anyways, this is a very fun, interesting dynamic I have not seen in any other show of, hey, this character is so kind, so nurturing, so sweet, and actually genuinely cares for these kids. But also it's his job to get murdered by them and push them into murdering him. And it's just such a fun, comical dynamic that has not been explored because.

Why the fuck would have thought of this?

But I think this is just a really clever premise as sort of anime style of we just want a cool premise. Who cares if it makes any sense in that sort of we're just going to exposition dump episode one into why you're doing this sort of way. I do like this idea, and I do like it is sort of setting up different assassination attempts every episode because we have to build from here. So I would be interested to watch more and see where this goes.

I agree. I'd never seen it before, and I guess it's not what I was expecting.

Yeah, this is not at all what I was expecting.

Well, I mean, I knew about the octopus man, so there's no way that.

This can be like a serious dramatic, edgy, super real.

Yeah. But I just didn't know what to expect, so I was very into it.

Yeah.

I was thinking it would be more of like a soul eater thing of like, there's this big death is this big cartoony, colorful mascot, but the actual story is beyond it and there is like deep stuff around it. So I thought it was going to be like, this is the headmaster of a training school for assassins, and it is just murder, my hero. academia, which no, I'm self aware or fun my murder.

Academia. Yeah. I thought it was going to be a full school. I didn't realize it was just one classroom so it changes stuff in.

Yeah.

I thought it was gantz a bit. Like there might be multiple teachers or something. Like, each classroom had their own teacher they're trying to kill, and then they kill them, and next year it's just a brand new teacher. Like, it wasn't that. Yeah, I thought it was just a training thing. I think the thing that really sold me on it, that really caught my interest was how extremely nurturing this teacher is. Like, how overtly kind he is. And he wasn't just like, ha, try and kill me next time. It just disappears. He went to New York and fucking manhandled a baseball professional baseball player in public just so he could teach one of his students, like, hey, use your wrist a little more. I think that's really, like at least for me, that's the selling point of like, this is what makes it engaging. Because, like we said, there are so many characters, and we've seen maybe four of them talk or five or something. So it's not the kids that are really going to rope you in. It's the teacher.

Yeah. There's a lot of media where they try to do the nurturing teacher thing, but there's just something about this. It feels different. It feels like he really genuinely cares.

I think because he's a dork, because he draws himself as an octopus, wearing a bow tie and stuff, and he gets so flustered all the time. There's something endearing of like, he feels more human because he messes up. There's mistakes.

It's not a perfect if they express fondness to him, he's like, oh, my God, thank you.

And then they try to come, he's like, all right.

Still a good try, kid. Love you.

Because it all comes down to his motivation, is, I don't care, really about destroying the planet. I just want to be a good teacher. So I think we're eventually going to get the rug pulled of like, he isn't actually there to destroy the planet. He is there for whatever this mystery woman in his past wanted him to do with training the class. It's a ruse. That's my prediction.

We have boarded Koro sensei's ruse.

That is the episode title. Well, let me write that down. I think it's going to be he's some weird scientist, or they were messing with, like, interdimensional travel or some experiment or some bullshit. It went wrong. He got contaminated and mutated. And then his wife or lover or whatever was his co scientist, and she was hoping to retire and become a teacher of the class that she was in back when she was a kid. And she has hope for those misfits that they can come up from the rough and do good. And he promised her that. And now he's just suicidal. But he wants to at least finish his promise.

Oh, my God.

Way more in depth than my view.

Okay.

Yeah, you you went way I think you. Went a little too deep there.

But I watch a lot of anime.

I mean, I try this more fun.

Than.

I yeah, I'm interested in seeing what else happens. How many episodes was it?

21.

Yeah, but then, like I said, there's two seasons and then there's some, like, ovas, I think there's a live action movie, maybe.

So there's also a video game.

Yeah. Like I said, despite being, what, 2015? There's already a lot of content for it. So it's like it's popular for a reason.

Yeah. Live action film was released in 2015.

I'm sorry.

Just think about seeing those hands in live action.

Oh, God. I looked at an image. No. Okay, it gets worse.

It gets worse.

No, it's worse. It's bad.

Why you do this?

It's like the detective pikachu the hands. No, we're done. Okay? That's our episode.

If you didn't have the hands, everything would be fine.

All of that other live action movie.

That hey, how much fan fiction do you think I can find of koro sensing so much?

All of it. Is that an option? Just all of it.

How much? Just lewd imagery.

Anyway, we got to end before we go down. All right, well, thank you. Thank you for joining us this week. What do we hold on next week? Yeah. Thank you, Will parson.

Thank you, Will parson.

You bring me the curse shit all over your show, finally, for once, see.

We can do it. And that's why we encourage you to.

Send us stuff we don't know until we try.

So what do we have going on next week?

Next week is my pick. And it's made in abyss. And we're going to jump around a bit. We're going to watch episodes one, three, and five.

Hello.

Yay.

Going to be interesting, I'll say that much.

Can't wait.

Sure it will.

I know about it.

Nice.

If you have a show you would like us to watch, like, Will, you can send us recommendations on Twitter at Arwibariat, on Twitter and Instagram or Arweevariat@gmail.com. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at mrpatrick. dugan.

You can find me on Instagram at Queen. Period wihu and on Twitter at Queen underscore Weebu as well as Queen underscore Weebu. Art.

You can find me on Twitter at abts brendan. It stands for Almost Better Than Silence, which is a video game podcast I do. And I'm going to record in about twelve minutes. yay.

Thank you to camille ruley for our art. And thank you to Louis zong for our theme song Stories off the album Beats. You can find all of louie's music at Louisong bandcamp.com. Thank you, and we hope you'll join us next week as we learn to live with anime.

Watch those fingers.